"And I trust you are well?" he presses.
"Oh, yes," Pippa says. "Well, no."
Here we go.
His teacup stops mid-sip. "Oh? Nothing serious, I trust, my dear."
Pippa brings her handkerchief to her mouth as if overcome. I could swear she's worked up real tears. She's very good and I must say that I am quite impressed.
"What is it, my dear? You must unburden yourself to me, your fianc?."
"How can I when I've worked to deceive you!"
He draws back a bit, his voice suddenly cool. "Go on. How is it that you have deceived me?"
"It's my affliction, you see. I have terrible seizures that could come on at any time."
Mr. Bumble stiffens. "Howhow long have you had this affliction?" His well-bred lips can scarcely say it. "All my life, I'm afraid. My poor mother and father have suffered so. But as you are such an honorable man, I find that my heart will not permit me to continue this deceit."
Bravo , The British stage is missing a fine actress in Pippa. She gives me a sideways glance. I smile in approval.
Mr. Bumble looks exactly like a man who has bought a fine piece of china, only to bring it home and discover the crack. "I am an honorable man. One who honors his commitments. I shall speak to your parents at once."
Pippa grabs hold of his hand. "Oh, no. Please! They would never forgive me for telling you the truth. Please understand that I'm only looking out for your welfare."
She's giving him her large, pleading eyes. Her charms have the desired effect.
"You do understand that if I were to break this engagement, your reputationyour very virtuewould be called into question."
Ah, yes. Wouldn't want us if the old virtue were questionable. Heaven forbid.
"Yes," Pippa says, eyes downcast. "That is why I think it would be best for me to refuse you" She slides the ring from her finger and drops it into his palm. I wait to see if he will beg her to reconsider, if he will pledge his love in spite of her ailment. But he seems relieved, his tone imperious.
"What shall I say to your parents, then?"
"Say that I am too young and foolish to take as a wife and that you have been noble enough to allow me to end things and save my reputation. They will not press you."
Pippa has never been lovelier than she is at this moment, with her head held high, her eyes shining in triumph. For once, she's not flowing with the current but swimming against it.
" Very well, then."
Mrs. Nightwing enters. "Oh, Mr. Bumble, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. One of our girls had a bit of the hysterics, but she seems to be fine now."
"It's no matter, Mrs. Nightwing. I was just leaving."
"Already?" Mrs. Nightwing is quite flummoxed.
"Yes. I'm afraid I have a pressing matter that needs my attention. Ladies, good day to you."
Confused but duty-bound, Mrs. Nightwing sees him out.
"How was I?" Pippa asks, sinking into the chair like lead.
"Brilliant. Miss Lily Trimble herself couldn't have done better." Pippa surveys her bare finger. "Pity about the ring, though."
"You could have waited till he asked to have it back!"
"He wouldn't have, though."
"Exactly my point!"
We're laughing when Mrs. Nightwing enters, suspicious and predatory. "Pippa, is all as it was between you and Mr. Bumble?"
Pippa swallows hard. "Yes, Mrs. Nightwing."
"Then where, pray tell, has your ring gone to?"
We hadn't gotten this far in our planninghow to explain the loss of the ring to everyone. Now we're stuck, I fear. But Pippa lifts her chin, the faintest hint of a smile beginning to show.
"Oh, that. He noticed a flaw."
We sit, sheltered by the colorful scarves of Felicity's private salon. Pippa and I are giving an account of the morning's adventure with Mr. Bumble in rapid, sometimes overlapping detail.
"And then Pippa said"
" he found a flaw!"
We laugh till no sound comes out of our mouths, till our sides ache from it.
"Oh, that's sublime," Felicity says, wiping a tear from her eye. "Let us hope that is the last we shall see of the unfortunate Mr. Bumble."
"Mrs. Bartleby Bumble." Pip spits out the hard Bs. "Can you imagine the horror of that?"
We laugh again and our laughter drifts down into sighs.
"Gemma, I want to go again," Felicity says when it's quiet.
Ann nods. "Me too."
