I kept my eyes shut as I thought over what I just allowed myself to do. My head was rested on his arm. Rock solid. Not exactly the most comfortable pillow. I could feel the weight of his arm over my waist, his fingers brushing the ends of my long hair. I felt the heave and sigh of his chest, my hands curved in front of me, the only thing keeping our bare bodies apart. The recollection of his toned torso, his strength, his brilliant blue eyes and the way he held me, the control he had sent shivers throughout my body.
I recalled what Ben told me back at the beach after our escape from The Shade. Sandcastles always fall, Sofia… you might as well bid it farewell sooner rather than later.
I opened my eyes and noticed how serene Derek looked asleep. I couldn’t even remember if I had ever woken up before him. It felt like the first time I ever saw him in deep slumber, looking more content than I’d ever seen him. There was a faint smile on his face and my heart leapt at the idea that maybe I was the reason behind that smile.
What I have with you… Is it a sandcastle? Will I one day have to watch it broken by time and nature’s waves?
I gently lifted his arm away from my waist, careful not to wake him. I sat up on the bed, over the edge of it, groaning at the slight ache I felt in my body. I got up and picked up my black lace lingerie from the floor, slipping them back on. As I pulled a silk night shift over my body, I kept my eyes on Derek, trying to recall what had been going through my mind as I bared myself before him the night before.
I knew what reason dictated. He was immortal and I wasn’t. I would grow old one day and he would remain the same. I dreaded the day he might grow tired of me. What we had was a sandcastle, beautiful but temporary. So why did you give yourself to him in this way, Sofia?
I made my way to my bedroom as noiselessly as I could and retrieved my sketch book and pencil from my belongings. I returned to his bedroom relieved to find that he was still asleep. I saw the trace of blood on his bed sheet, a reminder of what I had surrendered to him.
I pulled the red velvet ottoman near the edge of his bed and sat down across him, and began sketching him, never wanting to forget that moment. I knew why I gave myself to him and I didn’t regret it. Just because sandcastles are temporary, it never stopped me from making them as beautiful as possible. As I sketched his appearance, I couldn’t shy away from the truth that was staring me right in the face. I was in love with Derek Novak and the idea that he returned my affections thrilled me.
Beginning to focus on the quick sketch I was trying to finish, I didn’t realize that he’d already woken up until I looked up to find his stunning eyes on me.
“You’re so beautiful.” His gaze was hooded, his voice husky.
I blushed in response, winking at him before continuing to put the finishing flourishes on my sketch.
“Come here…” He tapped the empty space on the bed beside him. “What are you doing all the way over there?”
“Creating a masterpiece…” I grinned, crossing my legs as I lifted my sketch in the air to get a better look at it.
“Show me.” He was speaking in his typical authoritarian tone, reminding me of his station and authority.
I pouted at him. “No.”
“Will you just come over here, Sofia?” As an afterthought, he grinned and spoke the magic word, “Please?”
I placed my pencil on the nearby bedside table and dragged my feet toward the bed. I sat on the edge of the bed, sketchbook still clutched in one hand. When I got close enough, he took my free hand and pulled me on the bed beside him, making me gasp at the sudden motion.
Before I could object, he grabbed the sketchbook from my hand and lay flat on his back. Mischief traced his face as he watched me for a reaction. I curled up on the bed beside him and gave him my blessing.
“Go ahead. Look.”
When Derek shifted his gaze toward the most recent sketch, I felt my stomach flutter at the reaction on his face.
“Sofia, this is … incredible. I had no idea you could draw…”
I chuckled, recalling what he told me when I first saw him play a tune on his grand piano. “There are lot of things you don’t know about me.” I rolled to my stomach and rested my arm and chin over his chest and shoulder, watching his facial reactions as he thumbed through my sketches.
I knew every sketch by heart. They contained fond memories of him. A sketched copy of the Polaroid picture Corrine sent over. The confused look on his face as he tried to figure out how to navigate through a smart phone. His fingers over a grand piano. Our hands clasping each other’s, fingers intertwined. The way he looked standing on the balcony during our first night at The Shade, breath-taken by the incredible view.
After he finished browsing through my sketches, he eyed me questioningly as if to ask what it all meant.
“I never stopped thinking of you.”
Guilt marred his countenance. My gut clenched. He set the sketchbook aside and brushed a hand over my hair. I was curious as to why his fingers trembled. I ran a hand over his bare torso. All those times Ben tried to get me in bed with him, I held out. I didn’t know it then, but now I understood. I was holding out for Derek. He was the man I wanted to share this with, yet the apprehension looming over his countenance shook me.
“What’s wrong, Derek?”
“You were constantly on my mind too, Sofia. Trust me when I say that… But while you were away, I just… I lost myself. I can’t even…”
Vivienne, Corrine, the girls… they all said that he was different apart from me, but it still meant a lot more when I heard from him. “I’m here now. I’m here for as long as you want me here.”
“You promise never to leave me again?”
I didn’t even hesitate. “I promise.”
“How could you trust me this way, Sofia? Trust me enough that you would give all that you are to me?”
Before insecurity could take a hold of me and make me question how he felt about what happened between us, his lips were on mine, his fingers tangling in my hair. I responded to his kiss wondering if I would ever fully understand him, not really caring at that moment if I ever would. He was a mystery I was willing to take time unraveling.
When our lips parted, I slapped him over the shoulder with my palm. Of course, there was more pain in my palm than on his shoulder. Still, he scowled at me and grabbed the assaulted area.
“What the hell was that for?!”
“You can’t ask questions like those and then just kiss me without waiting for me to give an answer, Derek.”
“Oh yeah?” Amusement flashed through his eyes. The boyish charm he rarely showed surfaced during our stolen moments of intimacy. “What else can’t I do? Enlighten me, will you?”
“I’m serious.” I frowned.
He tried to put on a straight face, but burst out laughing anyway, his hand running the length of my waist down to my hips. “Well, can you blame me if I can’t keep my hands off of you? After you seduced me last night?”
I blushed even as I feigned offense. “I did not seduce you.”
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Sofia. You were seduction personified from the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“You can’t say things like that.”
“Why can’t I?” He quirked a brow at me.
“I never how to react to it.”
To that, he chuckled. “But it’s true though. I’ve wanted you for the longest time. I don’t even think you realize how attractive you are, Sofia. Do you have any idea the kind of hell you put me through every night you spent here in my bed? The kind of self-control I needed to have not to make you mine?”
“Is that what I am? Yours?”
“That’s what you’ve always been since you stepped onto this island. I keep telling you that you belong to me, but it never seems to sink in to that stubborn mind of yours.”
I should’ve been offended by the way he was once again referring to me as if I were an object he could own, but I’d already lost count of the number of times I tried to clarify to him that I wasn’t his. Besides, at that moment, it actually felt like I was. Still, my stubborn self just had to clarify. “I don’t belong to you, Derek.”
“Oh?” He challenged me.
“I belong with you.”
He grinned. “Fair enough, just as long as I know you’re with me.” His arms wrapped around me and pulled me against him. I gasped slightly when his hand rested on a rather sore spot on my back.
His eyes registered surprise, his brows meeting as he made me lie on my stomach so he could check my back. I heard a gasp escape his own lips as he lifted up my nightshift to get a better look.
“Sofia, I’m sorry. I tried to be gentle…”
“I’m fine…” I tried to reassure him. It’s not like this island hasn’t dealt me my share of pain. Whatever pain you caused me is nothing. I could feel the blood rise to my cheeks as I recalled the pleasures we shared together. I didn’t want to ruin the light mood we were both in.
“Do I have to drink your blood again?” I rolled my eyes. “At this rate, I’m more the vampire in this relationship than you are.”
All I got from him was a grunt in response to my jibes. He stood up and cut a gash on his palm. He gently helped me up on the bed, making me sit over the edge of it.
“Don’t beat yourself up over this, Derek. I barely feel any pain.”
He offered his hand to me and I drank from him once again.
“I’ve failed to protect you so many times. Now, I can’t even protect you from myself.”
I could feel the ache in my body subside the moment his blood ran through me. I rose from the bed, careful to cover myself with the blankets, wrapping the same sheets around him as I drew close to him.
“Self-pity is unbecoming of you, Derek. You’ve protected me plenty of times. I certainly wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. Besides, when was the last time you slept with a human without feeding on her?”
