“She’s in room 501,” the nurse said. “It’s right down the hall and make a left.”
“Thanks,” Rachel said, as she started in that direction.
Nobody told her what to expect when she saw her mother for the first time and nobody could have prepared her for what she saw as she entered room 501. Her mom lay there, under the white hospital sheets with her head wrapped in bandages and air tubes coming out of her nose and mouth. There were wires hooked up to her body that poked out of the sheets and hooked up to loud beeping monitors that sat at the side of her bed.
Rachel walked in slowly and quietly towards her mom’s bedside. She peeked at her over the railing of the bed and noticed that her eyes were taped shut, too. It looked to her as if her mom were dying. A tear fell from her eyes and rolled down her cheek, and landed on the white sheet that covered her mom. She reached under the covers and grabbed her mom’s hand, which had an IV coming out of her wrist. She clutched onto it, happily feeling the warmth of her body.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Her eyes quickly focused on the monitor next to her bed as it started to beep louder and more frequently. The line that ran across the screen was jumping up and down in an erratic rhythm. The noises and the whole situation made her heart race and she began to feel panicked. Was her mom dying? Was her heart stopping?
She watched as two nurses came running into her room to examine her. They opened her eyes and shined a flashlight in both of them watching her pupils expand and contract and then checked each of her heart monitors to make sure they were tightly secured to the round patches stuck to her skin.
“Is she OK?” Rachel asked, in fear.
“Shh,” one nurse said. “We’re checking that out now.”
“She’s never done this before,” the other nurse said. “It’s almost as if she’s waking up?”
“Is she OK? Please say she’s OK and that’s she not dying!” Rachel begged.
“Doctor! Doctor!” the nurse yelled out of the room. “Hurry!”
Within seconds a doctor came running in, wearing a white lab coat and scrubs.
“What’s going on here?” he said, looking at the nurses.
“Look! Her heart rate is plummeting, quick, get the AED,” the nurse yelled.
Rachel watched in horror as the nurse ran out and ran back in with the machine to jump-start her mom’s heart. The noise coming from the monitor was now a continuous loud tone and the beeping had stopped. It reminded her of when people would flat line in the movies, except this wasn’t a movie, this was real life and it was her mother on the other end. It was all too much for her to watch so she ran out of the room sobbing as she slunk down to the floor put her head in her lap.
She could still her the commotion from inside the room as the nurses and doctor tried to revive her. She couldn’t believe what was happening and she hoped it wasn’t her fault. She hoped that she didn’t cause this. Perhaps her mom sensed that she was there to see her and went into shock. She felt awful.
One of the nurses came walking slowly out of the room and over towards her computer station.
“What happened? Is she OK? Please tell me she’s alive!” Rachel asked in fear.
The nurse looked over at her, smiled and then said, “She is OK. The doctor will tell you more.”
“Will she make it?” Rachel asked.
“Why don’t you wait to talk to the doctor? He will be out in a few minutes. They’re just patching her up in there,” the nurse said.
“Please just tell me. I can’t wait. Please!” Rachel yelled. “That’s my mother you’re talking about!”
“The doctor will be right with you,” the nurse said, as she turned and walked away.
Rachel couldn’t believe how cold this nurse was to her. She’d never experienced a situation like this before and she never expected the nurse of all people to shrug her off like that. Sometimes she wondered about people. She couldn’t understand why they acted the way they did sometimes. Especially in hard situations like this one. She would have assumed the nurse of all people would have more sympathy for her.
“Young lady?” the doctor said from inside the room.
“Me?” Rachel asked as she peeked her head in.
“Yes, what’s your name?” the doctor asked.
“I’m Rachel. That’s my mom,” she said.
“Rachel, Dear. I haven’t seen you here before,” the doctor said.
“I’m Dr. Henley. I’ve been working with your mom since she arrived a while back.”
“Dr. Henley, will my mom be OK? What happened to her?” Rachel asked, with a worried look on her face.
“She made it this time. Thank God. Her heart had some unusual movement and it forced her heart rate to drop drastically. We had to jump start it, and it appears that she will make it. We will keep a close eye on her to be sure, but she looks to be doing fine now,” Dr. Henley added.
“But Dr. Henley, what caused this?” Rachel asked.
“I wish I knew. It is very rare what just happened. She had been in a rater static state for months until just now. We don’t know what set it off, but we will keep a close watch on it,” Dr. Henley said.
“She’s not going to die is she?” Rachel asked, with tears running down her cheeks.
“Rachel, it appears she will be OK for now. I wish I could tell you for certain that she’ll be OK, but I can’t. Not after what just happened. Like I said, we are going to monitor her closely and take every step necessary to ensure that she is healthy and on the road to recovery,” Dr. Henley said. He then looked down at his watch and said, “I have to run to surgery now. I hope to see you around more often.”
“But…” Rachel began.
“I have to go. I’m sorry. I am late,” Dr. Henley, said, as he walked away down the hall and into the operating room.
Rachel stood there until he was out of sight and then waited a minute until she calmed down before she went back in to see her mom. She pinched herself first to make sure this wasn’t a dream, as it was all so surreal to her. She couldn’t understand what had just happened to her mom to make her almost die. She couldn’t believe she was here to witness it and that after all these months the one time something like this happens was when she was here.
She slowly crept back in towards her mom, who was laying still in her hospital bed. She looked so lifeless laying there, with her eyes closed and her body motionless. Then, she noticed that her fingers were wiggling from inside the bed sheet. Rachel walked over and touched her hand again, and held onto it. Her mom’s hand stopped moving and again she was comforted by the warmth of her body. She felt lucky to feel her warm body: to feel her alive was now something she would never take for granted again.
“Mom. Mom. Can you hear me?” Rachel whispered.
She watched her moms face to see if she showed any signs of life, but she didn’t.
“Mom, I’m sorry. I hope you know I never meant to cause any trouble,” Rachel said. “I know this is all my fault.”
She looked at her mom’s eyelids as they began to flutter without opening.
“Mom? Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me!” Rachel said wishfully.
Rachel waited patiently for her mom to squeeze her hand or make another motion to let her know she was listening. Then, after a few minutes of sitting in silence her moms hand started moving.
“Mom!” Rachel yelled. “Can you hear me?”
Her mom moved her hand again so Rachel could feel it.
“Oh, thank God you’re alive! I’m so sorry this is happening. Can you speak, Mom?” Rachel asked. “There are so many things I want to tell you and talk about. Please speak to me!”
She waited and then heard her mom try to clear her throat and open her mouth. She no longer had the air tube going down her throat since they jump-started her heart. She saw her mom’s lips move up and down but she couldn’t make out what she was saying.
“Mom? Are you talking to me?” Rachel asked. “What are you saying?”
She watched again as her moms lips moved up and down. She tried to make it out and could see that her mom was saying I love you, Rachel.
“I love you, too, Mom!” Rachel said back. “I love you so much! Please come back to us. Please!”
Rachel watched her mom as she started to smile. A tear ran down her cheek and Rachel began to cry as well. She was happy yet scared at the same time. She couldn’t help but think she’d nearly just lost her mom forever and now, she was coming back to her and talking. Rachel couldn’t have been happier at that moment.
“Mom, I can’t believe it. You’re OK!” Rachel exclaimed.
Rachel looked over and her mom’s eyes began to open wide and stare into space.
“Mom! Over here. Can you see me?” Rachel asked. “This is a miracle!”
Rachel’s mom turned her head and looked at her.
“How is this happening? It’s a miracle!” Rachel repeated again.
“Rachel?” her mom whispered. “You’re here!”
Rachel flung her arms around her mom’s neck and gave her a big hug. She didn’t want to let go, but she wanted to keep talking to her mom. She couldn’t wait to talk to her actually.
“Mom, what happened?” Rachel asked. “I’m so sorry you are here. In this place. Alone.”
“Rachel, I don’t remember why I’m here. Do you know?” her mom asked.
“I wish I could remember, but I don’t. Dad and Mark said it’s my fault. Because I left home,” Rachel said.
Rachel watched as her mom tried to remember what had happened. She could tell that she was trying to recover the information somewhere in her brain.
“Oh. You left us,” her mom said. “You ran away and didn’t come back.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m truly sorry!” Rachel said. “If I would have known, I never would have…”
