I didn't recognize the guy Sydney sent to meet us when we reached Novosibirsk, but he had the same golden tattoo that she did. He was sandy-haired and in his thirties-and human, of course. He looked competent and trustworthy, and as I leaned against the car, he laughed and spoke to the elderly couple like they'd been best friends forever. There was a professional and reassuring air about him, and soon they were smiling too. I'm not sure what he told them, maybe that I was his wayward daughter or something, but they apparently felt good enough to leave me in his hands. I supposed with their jobs, the Alchemist charm in action.
When the old man and woman drove off, his demeanor shifted slightly. He didn't seem as cold as Sydney initially had, but there was no laughing or joking with me. He'd become distinctly businesslike, and I couldn't help but think of the stories of men in black, the people who cleaned up after extraterrestrial encounters in order to keep the world ignorant of the truth.
"Can you walk?" he asked, eyeing me up and down.
"Unclear at this time," I replied.
It turned out I could, just not very well. With his help, I eventually ended up at a town house over in a residential part of the city. I was bleary-eyed and barely able to stay on my feet by that point. There were other people there, but none of them registered. The only thing that mattered was the bedroom someone took me to. I mustered enough strength at that point to break free of the arm supporting me and do a face-plant right in the middle of the bed. I fell asleep instantly.
I awoke to bright sunshine filling my room and voices speaking in hushed tones. Considering everything that I'd been through, I wouldn't have been surprised to see Dimitri, Tatiana, or even Dr. Olendzki from the Academy there. Instead, it was Abe's bearded face that looked down at me, the light making all of his jewelry gleam.
For a moment, his face blurred, and all I saw was dark, dark water-water that threatened to wash me away. Dimitri's last words echoed in my head: That's what I was supposed to say... He'd understood that I wanted to hear that he loved me. What would have happened if we'd had a few moments more? Would he have said those words? Would he have meant them? And would it have mattered?
With the same resolve I'd mustered before, I parted the waters swirling in my mind, ordering myself to push aside last night as long as I could. I would drown if I thought about it. Now I had to swim. Abe's face came back into focus.
"Greetings, Zmey," I said weakly. Somehow, him being here didn't surprise me. Sydney would have had to tell her superiors about me, who in turn would have told Abe. "Nice of you to slither on in."
He shook his head, wearing a rueful smile. "I think you've outdone me when it comes to sneaking around dark corners. I thought you were on your way back to Montana."
"Next time, make sure you write a few more details into your bargains. Or just pack me up and send me back to the U.S. for real."
"Oh," he said, "that's exactly what I intend to do." He kept smiling as he said it, but somehow, I had a feeling he wasn't joking. And suddenly, I no longer feared that fate. Going home was starting to sound good.
Mark and Oksana walked over to stand beside him. Their presence was unexpected but welcome. They smiled too, faces melancholy but relieved. I sat up in bed, surprised I could move at all.
"You healed me," I said to Oksana. "I still hurt, but I don't feel like I'm going to die, which I have to think is an improvement."
She nodded. "I did enough to make sure you weren't in immediate danger. I figured I could do the rest when you woke up."
I shook my head. "No, no. I'll recover on my own." I always hated it when Lissa healed me. I didn't want her wasting the strength on me. I also didn't want her inviting spirit's side effects.
Lissa...
I jerked the covers off of me. "Oh my God! I have to get home. Right now."
Immediately, three pairs of arms blocked my way.
"Hold on," said Mark. "You aren't going anywhere. Oksana only healed you a little. You're a long way from being recovered."
"And you still haven't told us what happened," said Abe, eyes as shrewd as ever. He was someone who needed to know everything, and the mysteries around me probably drove him crazy.
"There's no time! Lissa's in trouble. I have to get back to school." It was all coming back to me. Lissa's erratic behavior and crazy stunts, driven by some kind of compulsion-or super-compulsion, I supposed, seeing as Avery had been able to shove me out of Lissa's head.
"Oh, now you want to go back to Montana?" exclaimed Abe. "Rose, even if there was a plane waiting for you out in the other room, that's a twenty hour trip, at minimum. And you're in no condition to go anywhere."
I shook my head, still trying to get on my feet. After what I'd faced last night, this group wasn't that much of a threat-well, maybe Mark was-but I could hardly start throwing punches. And yeah, I still wasn't sure what Abe could do.
"You don't get it! Someone's trying to kill Lissa or hurt her or..."
Well, I didn't really understand what Avery wanted. All I knew was that Avery had somehow been compelling Lissa to do all sorts of reckless things.
She had to be amazingly strong in spirit to not only manage those feats but also keep it hidden from Lissa and Adrian. She'd even created a false aura to hide her golden one. I had no idea how that magnitude of power was possible, particularly considering that Avery's fun-loving personality could hardly be called insane. Whatever her scheme, Lissa was at risk. I had to do something.
Removing Abe from the equation, I looked up at Mark and Oksana pleadingly. "It's my bondmate," I explained. "She's in trouble. Someone's trying to hurt her. I have to go to her-you understand why I have to."
And I saw in their faces that they did understand. I also knew that in my situation, they'd try exactly the same thing for each other.
Mark sighed. "Rose... we'll help you get to her, but we can't do it now."
"We'll contact the school," said Abe matter-of-factly. "They'll take care of it."
Right. And how exactly would we do that? Call up Headmaster Lazar and tell him his party-girl daughter was actually corrupting and controlling people with psychic powers and that she needed to be locked up for Lissa's and everyone else's good?
My lack of an answer seemed to make them think they'd convinced me, Abe in particular. "With Oksana's help, you'd probably be in good enough condition to leave tomorrow," he added. "I can book a morning flight the next day."
"Will she be all right until then?" Oksana asked me gently.
"I... I don't know..." What could Avery do in two days' time? Alienate and embarrass Lissa further? Horrible things, but not permanent or life threatening. Surely, surely... she'd be okay that long, right? "Let me see..."
I saw Mark's eyes widen slightly as he realized what I was about to do. Then I saw nothing in the room anymore because I was no longer there. I was in Lissa's head. A new set of sights settled in around me, and for half a second, I thought I stood on the bridge again and was looking down into black waters and a cold death.
Then I gained a grip on what I saw-or rather, what Lissa saw. She was standing on the ledge of a window in some building on campus. It was nighttime. I couldn't tell offhand which building it was, but it didn't matter. Lissa was on what appeared to be the sixth floor, standing there in high heels, laughing about something while the dark ground threatened below. Behind her, I heard Avery's voice.
"Lissa, be careful! You shouldn't be up there."
But it had the same double meaning that permeated everything Avery did. Even as she said those words of caution, I could feel a reckless drive within Lissa, something telling her that it was okay to be where she was and not to worry so much. It was Avery's compulsion. Then, I felt that brushing of my mind, and the annoyed voice.
You again?
I was forced back out, back to the bedroom in Novosibirsk. Abe was freaking out, apparently thinking I'd gone into some catatonic fit, and Mark and Oksana were attempting to explain to him what had happened. I blinked and rubbed my head as I gathered myself, and Mark breathed a sigh of relief.
"It's much stranger watching someone do that than it is doing it myself."
"She's in trouble," I said, attempting to get up again. "She's in trouble... and I don't know what to do..."
They were right in saying there was no way on earth I could get to Lissa anytime soon. And even if I followed Abe's suggestion and contacted the school... I didn't know for sure where Lissa was at or even if anyone there would believe me. I thought about jumping back in and trying to read Lissa's location from her mind, but Avery would likely throw me out again. From what I had briefly felt, Lissa didn't have her cell phone on her-no surprise. There were strict rules about having them in classes, so she usually left hers in her dorm room.
But I knew someone who would have his. And who would believe me.
"Does anyone have a phone?" I asked.
Abe gave me his, and I dialed Adrian's number, surprised I had it memorized. Adrian was mad at me, but he cared about Lissa. He would help her, no matter his grudge toward me. And he would believe me when I tried to explain a crazy, spirit-induced plot.
But when the other end of the line picked up, it was his voicemail that answered, not the man himself. "I know how devastated you must be to miss me," his cheery voice said, "but leave a message, and I'll try to ease your agony as soon as possible."
I disconnected, feeling lost. Suddenly, I looked up at Oksana as one of my crazier ideas came to mind.
"You... you can do that thing... where you actively go in someone's mind and touch their thoughts, right? Like you did to me?"
She grimaced slightly. "Yes, but it's not something I like to do. I don't think it's right."
"Can you compel them once you're in there?"
She looked even more disgusted. "Well, yes, of course... the two things are actually very similar. But reaching in someone's mind is one thing and forcing them into some unwanted behavior is an entirely different matter."
"My friend is about to do something dangerous," I said. "It could kill her. She's being compelled, but I can't do anything about it. The bond won't let me actively reach her. I can only watch. If you could reach inside my friend's head and compel her out of danger..."
Oksana shook her head. "Supposing morals weren't an issue, I can't reach into someone who's not actually here-let alone someone I've never met."
I raked a hand through my hair, panic setting in. I wished Oksana knew how to walk dreams. That would at least give her the long-distance capability. All of these spirit powers seemed to be one off from each other, each having some additional nuance. Someone who could dream walk might be able to take the next step and visit someone awake.
An even crazier idea came to me. This was a groundbreaking day. "Oksana... you can reach into my mind, right?"
"Yes," she reaffirmed.
"If I... if I was in my bondmate's head at the time, could you reach into me and then reach into her mind? Could I, like, be the link between you guys?"
"I've never heard of anything like that," murmured Mark.
"That's because we've never had this many spirit users and shadow-kissed around before," I pointed out.
Abe, understandably, looked completely lost.
A shadow fell over Oksana's face. "I don't know..."
"Either it works or it doesn't," I said. "If it doesn't, then there's no harm done. But if you can reach her through me... you can compel her." She started to speak, and I cut her off. "I know, I know... you think it's wrong. But this other spirit user? She's the one who's wrong. All you have to do is compel Lissa out of danger. She's ready to jump out a window! Stop her now; then I'll get to her in another day or so and fix things."
And by fix things, I meant ruin Avery's pretty face with a black eye.
In my bizarre life, I'd grown pretty used to people-especially adults-rejecting my outlandish ideas and proclamations. I'd had a hell of a time convincing people that Victor had kidnapped Lissa and an equally hard time making the guardians believe the school was under attack. So when situations like this happened, part of me almost expected resistance. But the thing was, as stable as they were, Oksana and Mark had been fighting with spirit for most of their lives. Crazy was kind of par for the course for them, and after a moment, she didn't argue any further.
"All right," she said. "Give me your hands."
"What's going on?" asked Abe, still totally clueless. I took a small amount of satisfaction in seeing him out of his league for a change.
Mark murmured something to Oksana in Russian and kissed her on the cheek. He was warning her to be careful, not condemning her for her choice. I knew he'd want the same thing if she were in Lissa's place. The love that flashed between them was so deep and so strong that I nearly lost my resolve to do this. That kind of love reminded me of Dimitri, and if I allowed myself to think about him for even a moment more, I was going to relive last night...
I clasped Oksana's hands, a knot of fear coiling in my stomach. I didn't like the idea of someone being in my head, even though that was a hypocritical sentiment for someone who was constantly traveling into her best friend's mind. Oksana gave me a small smile, though it was obvious she was as nervous as me.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I hate doing this to people..."
And then I felt it, the same thing that had happened when Avery pushed me out. It was like the actual physical sensation of someone touching my brain. I gasped, looking into Oksana's eyes as waves of heat and cold ran through me. Oksana was in my head.
"Now go to your friend," she said.
I did. I focused my thoughts into Lissa and found her still standing on the window's ledge. Better she was there than on the ground, but I still wanted her off and back in the room before something bad happened. That wasn't for me to do, however. I was the taxi, so to speak. Oksana was the one who had to literally talk Lissa off the ledge. Only I had no indication the other woman had come with me. When I'd jumped to Lissa's mind, I'd lost that sense of Oksana. No more tickling of the mind.
Oksana? I thought. Are you there?
There was no response-not from Oksana, at least. The answer came from a very unexpected source.
Rose?
It was Lissa's voice that spoke in my mind. She froze her position in the window and abruptly cut off whatever she'd been laughing about with Avery. I felt Lissa's terror and confusion as she wondered if she was imagining me. She peered around the room, her eyes passing over Avery.
Avery recognized something was going on, and her face hardened. I felt the familiar sense of her presence in Lissa's mind and wasn't surprised when Avery tried to shove me out again.
Except-it didn't work.
Avery kicking me out in the past had always felt like an actual shove. I got the impression that when she tried it now, it felt like hitting a brick wall to her. I wasn't so easy to push around anymore. Oksana was with me somehow, lending her strength. Avery was still in Lissa's line of sight, and I saw those adorable blue-gray eyes go wide with shock that she couldn't control me.
Oh, I thought. It's on, bitch!
Rose? Lissa's voice was there again. Am I going crazy?
Not yet. But you have to get down, right now. I think Avery's trying to kill you.
Kill me? I could feel and hear Lissa's incredulity. She'd never do that.
Look, let's not argue it for now. Just get out of the window and call it good.
I felt the impulse in Lissa, felt her shift and start to put one foot down. Then it was like some core part of herself stopped her. Her foot stayed where it was... and slowly began to grow unsteady...
That was Avery at work. I wondered if Oksana, lurking in the background of this bond, could overpower that compulsion. No, Oksana wasn't active here. Her spirit powers had somehow gotten me into actively communicating with Lissa, but she was remaining passive. I'd expected to be the bridge and thought Oksana would jump to Lissa's mind and compel her. The situation was reversed, though, and I didn't actually have compulsion powers. All I had was legendary wit and powers of persuasion.
Lissa, you have to fight Avery, I said. She's a spirit user, and she's compelling you. You're one of the strongest compulsion users I know. You should be able to fight her.
Fear answered me. I can't... I can't compel right now.
Why not?
Because I've been drinking.
I mentally groaned. Of course. That was why Avery was always so quick to supply Lissa with alcohol. It numbed spirit, as demonstrated in Adrian's frequent indulgences. Avery had encouraged the drinking so that Lissa's spirit abilities would weaken and give her less resistance. There were a number of times Lissa hadn't been able to gauge exactly how much Avery was drinking; in retrospect, Avery must have been doing a fair amount of faking.
Then use ordinary willpower, I told her. It's possible to resist compulsion.
It was true. Compulsion wasn't an automatic ticket to world domination. Some people were better at resisting it than others, though a Strigoi or spirit user certainly complicated matters.
I felt Lissa build up her resolve, felt her repeat my words over and over, that she had to be strong and step back off the ledge. She worked to push away that impulse Avery had implanted, and without knowing how, I suddenly found myself pushing on it as well. Lissa and I joined our strength together and started shoving Avery out.
In the physical world, Avery and Lissa's gazes were locked as the psychic struggle continued. Avery's face showed hard concentration that suddenly became overlaid with shock. She'd noticed me fighting her too. Her eyes narrowed, and when she spoke, it was me she addressed and not Lissa.
"Oh," Avery hissed, "you do not want to mess with me."
Didn't I?
There was a rush of heat and that feeling of someone reaching into my mind. Only it wasn't Oksana. It was Avery, and she was doing some serious investigation of my thoughts and memories. I understood now what Oksana meant about it being invasive and a violation. It wasn't just looking through someone's eyes; it was spying on their most intimate thoughts.
And then, the world around me dissolved. I stood in a room I didn't recognize. For a moment, I thought I was back in Galina's estate. It certainly had that rich, expensive feel to it. But no. After a moment's examination, I realized this wasn't the same at all. The furnishings were different. Even the vibe was different. Galina's home had been beautiful, but there had been a cold, impersonal feel to it. This place was inviting and clearly well loved. The plush couch had a quilt thrown haphazardly in its corner, as though someone-or maybe two someones-had been cuddling underneath it. And while the room wasn't messy, exactly, there were scattered objects-books, framed photos-that indicated this room was actually used and wasn't just for show.
I walked over to a small bookshelf and picked up one of the framed photos. I nearly dropped it when I saw what it was. It was a picture of Dimitri and me-but I had no memory of it. We stood arm in arm, leaning our faces together to make sure we both got in the shot. I was grinning broadly, and he too wore a joyous smile, one I'd hardly ever seen on him. It softened some of the protective fierceness that usually filled his features and made him look sexier than I'd ever imagined. A piece of that soft brown hair had slipped his ponytail and lay on his cheek. Beyond us was a city that I immediately recognized: Saint Petersburg. I frowned. No, this was definitely a picture that couldn't exist.
I was still studying it when I heard someone walk into the room. When I saw who it was, my heart stopped. I set the photo back on the shelf with shaking hands and took a few steps back.
It was Dimitri.
He wore jeans and a casual red T-shirt that fit the lean muscles of his body perfectly. His hair was down loose and slightly damp, like he'd just gotten out of the shower. He held two mugs and chuckled when he saw me.
"Still not dressed?" he asked, shaking his head. "They're going to be here any minute."
I looked down and saw that I wore plaid flannel pajama bottoms and a tank top. He handed me the mug, and I was too stunned to do anything but take it. I peered into it-hot chocolate-and then looked up at him. There was no red in his eyes, no evil on his face. Only gorgeous warmth and affection. He was my Dimitri, the one who'd loved and protected me. The one with a pure heart and soul...
"Who... who's coming?" I asked.
"Lissa and Christian. They're coming for brunch." He gave me a puzzled look. "Are you okay?"
I looked around, again taking in the comforting room. Through a window, I saw a backyard filled with trees and flowers. Sunshine spilled through onto the carpet. I turned back to him and shook my head. "What is this? Where are we?"
His confused expression now turned into a frown. Stepping forward, he took my mug and set his and mine on the shelf. His hands rested on my hips, and I flinched but didn't break away-how could I when he looked so much like my Dimitri? "This is our house," he said, drawing me near. "In Pennsylvania."
"Pennsylvania... are we at the
Royal Court
?"
He shrugged. "A few miles away."
I slowly shook my head. "No... that's not possible. We can't have a home together. And definitely not so close to the others. They'd never let us."
If in some crazy world Dimitri and I lived together, we'd have to do it in secret-somewhere remote, like Siberia.
"You insisted," he said with a small smile. "And none of them care. They accept it. Besides, you said we had to live near Lissa."
My mind reeled. What was going on? How was this possible? How could I be living with Dimitri-especially so near Moroi? This wasn't right... and yet, it felt right. Looking around, I could see how this was my home. I could feel the love in it, feel the connection Dimitri and I had to it. But... how could I actually be with Dimitri? Wasn't I supposed to be doing something else? Wasn't I supposed to be somewhere else? "You're a Strigoi," I said at last. "No... you're dead. I killed you."
He ran a finger along my cheek, still giving me that rueful smile. "Do I look like I'm dead? Do I look Strigoi?"
No. He looked wonderful and sexy and strong. He was all the things I remembered, all the things I loved. "But you were..." I trailed off, still confused. This wasn't right. There was something I had to do, but I still couldn't remember. "What happened?"
His hand returned to my hip, and he pulled me into a tight embrace. "You saved me," he murmured into my ear. "Your love saved me, Roza. You brought me back so that we could be together."
Had I? I had no memory of that, either. But this all seemed so real, and it felt so wonderful. I'd missed his arms around me. He'd held me as a Strigoi, but it had never felt like this. And when he leaned down and kissed me, I knew for sure he wasn't a Strigoi. I didn't know how I could have ever deluded myself back at Galina's. This kiss was alive. It burned within my soul, and as my lips pressed more eagerly into his, I felt that connection, the one that told me there was no one else in the world for me except him.
Only, I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't supposed to be here. But where was I supposed to be? Lissa... something with Lissa...
I broke the kiss but not the embrace. My head rested against his chest. "I really saved you?"
"Your love was too strong. Our love was too strong. Not even the undead could keep us apart."
I wanted to believe it. Desperately. But that voice still nagged in my head... Lissa. What about Lissa? Then, it came to me. Lissa and Avery. I had to save Lissa from Avery. I jerked away from Dimitri, and he stared in surprise.
"What are you doing?"
"This isn't real," I said. "This is a trick. You're still Strigoi. We can't be together-not here, not among the Moroi."
"Of course we can." There was hurt in his deep brown eyes, and it tore at my heart. "Don't you want to be with me?"
"I have to go back to Lissa..."
"Let her go," he said, approaching me again. "Let all of it go. Stay here with me-we can have everything we ever wanted, Rose. We can be together every day, wake up together every morning."
"No." I stepped further back. I knew if I didn't, he would kiss me again, and then I'd truly be lost. Lissa needed me. Lissa was trapped. With each passing second, the details about Avery were coming back to me. This was all an illusion.
"Rose?" he asked. There was so much pain in his voice. "What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry," I said, feeling on the verge of tears. Lissa. I had to get to Lissa. "This isn't real. You're gone. You and I can never be together, but I can still help her."
"You love her more than me?"
Lissa had asked me almost the same thing when I'd left to hunt Dimitri. My life was doomed to always be about choosing between them.
"I love you both," I replied.
And with that, I used all of my will to push myself back to Lissa, wherever she was, and tear away from this fantasy. Honestly, I could have spent the rest of my days in that make-believe world, being with Dimitri in that house, waking up with him each morning like he'd said. But it wasn't real.
It was too easy, and if I was learning anything, it was that life wasn't easy.
The effort was excruciating, but suddenly, I found myself looking back at the room at St. Vladimir's. I focused on Avery who was staring me and Lissa down. She'd pulled out the memory that tormented me most, attempting to confuse me and tear me from Lissa with a fantasy of what I wanted more than anything else in the world. I'd fought Avery's mind trap and felt pretty smug about it-despite the ache in my heart. I wished I could communicate directly with her and make a few comments about what I thought of her and her game. That was out of the question, so instead, I threw my will in with Lissa's once more, and together, we stepped down off the ledge and onto the room's floor.
Avery was visibly sweating, and when she realized she'd lost the psychic tug of war, her pretty face turned very ugly. "Fine," she said. "There are easier ways of killing you off."
Reed suddenly entered the room, looking as hostile as ever. I had no idea where he'd come from or how he'd known to show up right then, but he headed straight toward Lissa, hands reaching out. That open window loomed behind her, and it didn't take a genius to guess his intentions. Avery had tried to get Lissa to jump by using compulsion. Reed was just going to push her.
A mental conversation flew between Lissa and me in the space of a heartbeat.
Okay, I told her. Here's the situation. We're going to have to do a little role reversal.
What are you talking about? Fear flooded her, which was understandable, seeing as Reed's hands were seconds away from grabbing her.
Well, I said, I just did the psychic power struggle. Which means you've got to do the fighting. And I'm going to show you how.
