Everyone was already there when I rushed up. Even Nala was there. I swear she looked at me with eyes that said she knew exactly what I'd been up to in the library. Then she shot a grumpy "mee-uf-ow!" in my general direction, sneezed, and padded away. God, I'm so glad she can't talk. Suddenly Erik's arms were around me. He kissed me quickly and then hugged me while he whispered in my ear, "I've been looking forward to seeing you all day."
"Well, I was in the library." I realized my tone was way too abrupt and hateful (in other words, guilty) when he pulled away from me and gave me a sweet but confused smile.
"Yeah, that's what the Twins told us."
I looked into his eyes, feeling utterly like poo. How could I even take a chance at losing him? I should never have let Loren kiss me. It was wrong. I knew it was wrong and"Hey, Z, nice scarf," Damien said, tugging on the end of one of the snowmen and interrupting my guilty mental tirade.
"Thanks, my boyfriend gave it to me," I tried a lame tease, but knew that I sounded all weird and overly perkly.
"By that little comment she means her friend who is a boy," Shaunee said, giving me an eye roll.
"Yeah, don't stress Jack," Erin said. "Damien's not changing teams."
"Shouldn't you be telling me not to stress?" Erik asked playfully.
"No, sweet thang," Erin said.
"If Z dumps you for Queen Damien we'll be here to help you deal with your grief," Shaunee said. Then the Twins did a little impromptu bump and grind for Erik's benefit. Despite the guilt I was feeling, the two of them made me laugh, and I covered Erik's eyes.
Damien pointedly frowned at the Twins and then cleared his throat. "You two are completely incorrigible."
"Twin, I forget, what does incorrigible mean?" Shaunee said.
"I do believe it means that we're hotter and sexier than a whole herd of corriges," Erin said, still bumping and grinding.
"You two are dolts, which means you have very little sense." Damien said, but even he couldn't keep from laughing, especially when a giggling Jack joined in the bump and grind. "Anyway," he continued. "I almost went to the library, but then Jack and I got all involved watching a Will and Grace rerun marathon and I totally lost track of time. Next time you want to do research, just let me know, though, and I'll be happy to help you out."
"He's such a little bookworm," Jack said, pushing his shoulder playfully.
Damien blushed. The Twins made gagging noises. Erik laughed. I wanted to puke my guts up.
"Oh, no problem. I was just looking up some, well, stuff," I said.
"More stuff again?" Erik grinned down at me.
I hated that he looked so understanding and supportive. If he knew the stuff I'd been researching was making out with Loren Blake...Oh, God. No. He could never, ever find out.
And, yes, I realize how trifling and ho-ish it was that not long before this I'd been sucking Loren's face and feeling all hot and tingly about him, but now I was practically suffocating in a wave of guilt. Clearly I need therapy.
"So did you bring the candles?" I asked the Twins, resolving once and for all to think about the Loren mess later.
"Of course," Erin said.
"Please. It was easy-peasy," Shaunee said. "We even have them put in their correct places." She pointed behind us to a nice flat area under the canopy of the huge oak. I could see the four candles representing the elements in their proper places, with the fifth candle, representing spirit, sitting in the middle of the circle.
"I brought the matches," Jack said enthusiastically.
"Okay. Well. Let's do this," I said. The five of us started moving to our candles. Damien surprised me by hanging back a little from the others and whispering, "If you want Jack to leave, just let me know and I'll tell him to go."
"No," I said automatically, and then my mind caught up with my mouth and I added, "No, Damien. It's okay for him to be here. He's part of us. He belongs."
Damien gave me a grateful smile and motioned for Jack to bring me the matches. He scampered to me in the middle of the circle.
"I was going to get a lighter, but then I thought about it and it just didn't feel right." He explained to me very seriously. "I think it's better to use real wood. You know, real matches. A lighter is just too cold and modern for an ancient ritual. So I brought these." He proudly presented a long cylindrical thing. When I just looked at it like a, well, dolt, he pulled off the top and handed the bottom part to me. "See, long and totally chic fireplace matches. I got them from the den in our dorm. You know, by the fireplace." I took the matches from him. They were long and slender and a pretty violet color with red tips. "They're perfect," I said, glad I could make someone happy. "Be sure you bring them tomorrow to the real ritual. I'll use them instead of the usual lighter."
"Great!" he gushed and then, shooting a pleased grin at Damien, hurried out of the circle to sit comfortably under the tree, leaning back against the oak.
"Okay, are you guys ready?"
My three friends and one boyfriend (thankfully there was only one of my boyfriends present) chorused their yeses.
"Let's just go over the basics and not make this all complicated and involved. You guys will be out in the circle in your appropriate places with the rest of the Dark Daughters and Sons. Then Jack is going to key the music and I'll come in, just like I did last month."
"Is Professor Blake going to recite a poem again?" Damien asked.
"Oh, baby, I do hope so," Shaunee said.
"That vamp is so fiiiine he almost makes poetry interesting," Erin said.
"No!" I snapped. Then when they all gave me weird looks (I assume they were all giving me weird looks-the Twins and Damien did, I avoided looking at Erik.) I continued in a less crazy voice, "I mean, I don't think he's going to recite anything. I haven't talked to him about it, but whatever," I said with utter and complete nonchalance, then I hurried on. "So, I'll come in and move around the circle to the music, with or without poetry, until I get to my place in the center. I'll cast the circle, ask for Nyx's blessing for us specifically at the start of a new year, take the wine around, than close the circle and we'll all go eat." I glanced at Damien, "You took care of the food, right?"
"Yep, the chef is back from her winter vacation, and she and I decided on the menu yesterday. We're having chili about a zillion different ways. And," he added in a voice that said he thought he was being totally naughty, "we're also having imported beer."
"Sounds good," I smiled my appreciation at him. Yes, it sounds weird and vaguely illegal that minors were going to be drinking beer at what is basically a school-sanctioned event. The truth is that due to the physiological Change that was taking place inside all of our bodies, alcohol just didn't affect us anymore-or at least not enough to cause us to act like typical teenagers (in other words we won't get all wasted and use it as an excuse to have sex with each other).
"Hey, Z, weren't you going to announce at the ritual who you're Tapping for the Prefect Council this coming year?" Erik asked.
"You're right. I'd forgotten that I need to do that." I sighed. "So, yeah, before I close the circle I'll announce the two kids I'm Tapping."
"Who are they?" Damien asked.
I, uh, haven't narrowed it down to two yet. I'll make my final decision on that tonight," I lied. Actually, I hadn't come up with any names yet. I hadn't even wanted to think about it since one of those two kids would be taking Stevie Rae's place on the Council. Then I remembered that I was really supposed to let my current Council help me decide which new kids we were choosing. "Uh, guys. I guess tomorrow before the ritual we can meet and go over the names."
"Hey, Z, don't stress," Erik said. "Just choose two kids. We'll be fine with them." I felt a huge wash of relief. "Are you sure?"
My friends called a chorus of "okay" and "sounds good to me" comments. Each of them clearly having the utmost confidence in me. Ugh.
"Okay, good. So, are we all cool with the order of the ritual?" I asked. They nodded.
"All right. Let's practice the circle casting." As always, it didn't matter what stress and nonsense was going on in my life. When it came to circle casting and calling forth the five elements with which I have a special bond, or affinity, the sense of excitement and pleasure my gift gives me (thankfully) overshadows everything else. As I approached Damien I felt my stress lift along with my spirit. I took out one long, slender match and struck it against the sandpapery bottom of the cylinder. It lit as I said, "I call air to our circle. We breathe it in with out first breaths, so it is only right that it be the first element called. Come to us, air!" I touched the match to the yellow candle Damien held and it lit, and stayed lit, even in the wildly gusting wind that whirled around Damien and me like we were in the center of a tamed but playful mini-tornado. Damien and I grinned at each other. "I don't think I'll ever get over how amazing it is," he said softly.
"Me, either," I said, and blew out the wildly flickering match. Then I moved clockwise, or deosil, around the circle to Shaunee and her red candle. I could hear Shaunee humming something under her breath that I recognized, as I pulled out the next match, as the old Jim Morrison song, "Light My Fire." I smiled at her.
"Fire warms us with its passionate flame. I call fire to our circle!" As usual, I barely had to touch the lit match to Shaunee's candle. It instantly combusted, licking light and warmth against our skins.
"I couldn't be hotter if I was on fire," Shaunee said.
"Well, Nyx sure gave you the right element," I told her. Then I walked over to Erin, who was practically vibrating with excitement. My match was still flaming, so I simply smiled at Erin and said, "Water is a perfect balance to flame, just as Erin is a perfect Twin for Shaunee. I call water to our circle!" I touched the match to the blue candle and was instantly engulfed in the scents and sounds of the sea. I swear I could feel warm, tropical water washing against my legs, cooling what fire had just overheated.
"I do love me some water," Erin said happily.
Then I drew a deep, fortifying breath, made sure my face was set in a calm smile, and I walked over to where Erik was standing at the head of the circle and holding the green candle that represents the fourth element of the circle, earth.
"Are you ready?" I asked him.
Erik looked a little pale, but he nodded and his voice was strong and sure when he said, "Yes. I'm ready." I lifted the still burning match and "Ouch! Crap!" Feeling like an utter moron and not High Priestess in training and the only fledgling ever to have been gifted with an affinity for all five elements, I dropped the match that I'd let burn too long and scorch my fingers. I looked sheepishly at Erik and then around the almost completed circle. "Sorry, guys."
They shrugged off my dorkishness good-naturedly. I was just turning back to Erik and digging in the cylinder for the next match when what I had seen-or rather, what I hadn't seen-registered in my mind. There was no thread of light binding Damien, Shaunee, and Erin. Their candles were lit. Their elements had manifested. But the connection we'd felt since the five of us had cast our first circle together, which was so powerful it had been visible as a beautiful, binding thread of light, was definitely missing. Not sure what to do, I sent up a silent plea to Nyx, Please, Goddess, show me what I need to do to reform our circle without Stevie
Rae! Then I lit the match and smiled encouragement at Erik.
"Earth supports us and nurtures us. As the fourth element I call earth to our circle!" I took the long match and touched it to the wick of the green candle. Erik's reaction was instant. He cried out in pain as the green candle flew from his hand away from the circle and into the thickening shadows behind the tree. Erik was rubbing his hand and muttering something about it feeling like he'd been stung, at the same time a string of cussing was coming from the darkness as someone who was, apparently, very pissed off, was heading our way.
"Dammit! Ouch! Shit! What the-"
Aphrodite emerged from the shadows holding the unlit green candle and rubbing a red mark on her forehead that was already beginning to swell.
"Oh, wonderful. I should have fucking figured. I'm told to come out here in the"-she paused, looked around at the tree and the grass, then wrinkled up her perfect nose-"wilderness all surrounded by nature, and what do I find besides insects and dirt? The nerd herd throwing shit at me," she said.
"I only wish we'd thought of it," Erin said sweetly.
"Aphrodite, you are a hateful hag from hell," Shaunee said just as sweetly.
"Dorks, don't talk to me."
Ignoring their bickering I said, "Who told you to come out here?" Aphrodite met my eyes. "Nyx," she said.
"Please!"
"Whatever!"
"Not likely!"
Damien and the Twins all shouted together. I noticed that Erik was keeping suspiciously silent. I held up my hand. "Enough!" I snapped and they shut up.
"Why did Nyx tell you to come out here?" I asked Aphrodite. Still meeting my gaze squarely, she approached me. Barely giving Erik a glace she said, "Move out of the way, lame ex-boyfriend." Surprising me, Erik actually stepped out of her way so that she took earth's place in front of me. "Call earth and light it, and you'll see," Aphrodite said. Before anyone could protest I followed my gut, already knowing from the premonition it was giving me what would happen. "Earth supports us and nurtures us. As the fourth element I call earth to our circle!" I repeated and then touched my newly lit match to the green candle. It flamed instantly, surrounding Aphrodite and me in the scents and sounds of a lush meadow at full bloom in the middle of summer. Aphrodite spoke softly. "Nyx decided I needed more shit in my already crap-filled life. So now I have an affinity for earth. Ironic enough for you?"
