His magic lets me go and I drop to my knees. I bend forward and lose my stomach on the cement.
Somehow her words roll through my mind. Words she spoke to me in the very beginning of it all. "One day we will all see the big picture and where we fit inside of it. For now, we just try to do the best we can to make the world the place we would want to live, if we were human."
I remember it all. The switches with Ari. The death's we've lived through.
Dorian.
His smiles and sneers. The way he kissed me when we were alone. The way he watched me all the time. The heartbreak is bigger than anything I've ever lived through. Bigger than my mother. It's over as fast as it hits. I pull the feather from my bra and hold it to my face. Other memories filter in.
My heart panics. Aleks. I need him. I scan the street for Shane. He is gone. I'm dying inside about changing him into a monster.
Marcus looks at me and laughs, even though I can tell he is in terrible pain. He howls and screams some more.
"What did you do to him?"
"Gave him a heart again. Feelings. You just suffered through a couple years worth. He is suffering through hundreds of years worth."
"You must free her too." I point to where Annabelle is lying on the grass reaching.
"I know." He looks back, "There will be no safe place when I do." He grins, "Except Marcus's."
He flashes to where Annabelle is and reaches through the guards. He touches her hand and pulls her to him. He touches her chest, which is still heaving and sobbing. Annabelle is in such a fit, she doesn’t look at me. She doesn’t even try to say goodbye. She clutches to him as he puts the light out. It hurts me she leaves and doesn’t say goodbye, but I get it. Lydia was her Ari.
Sam flashes back without Hanna. He looks at Lydia's dead body and breaks into a run. His face is drawn and pale. He skids on the ground to her. He shakes and hugs her. His screams are louder than Marcus's.
I'm numb again. It's too much death. Too much for one heart and one day.
Chapter Twenty-One
"I give them back to you spirit. I give their souls to you and offer you their love. Please accept them father and mother." Sam whispers to me. His face looks like mine. He is broken and can't cry anymore. He continues to translate the words spoken by Henry. "Heal them and take away the pain they’ve suffered for the cause. Replace the pain and suffering with joy and love and let them always have each other."
Henry tosses ash into the wind. It makes a tornado and shoots up into the sky. Suddenly flowers start to fall slowly. They fall overtop of where we sit in the grass and plant roots. I watch as a daisy lands in front of me. Green vines crawl from the bottom of the stem and dig into the grass. The smell of the flowers is everywhere. It blows in the soft early summer breeze. The flowers become an instant meadow.
Giselle is heaving and sobbing. Lydia and Annabelle were the only parents she ever really had. She is a mess. She shakes me violently just by touching me. Ben wraps himself around her and pulls her in. Ben and Luke are in rough shape. Ari's still missing and the deaths we have suffered.
"What is Henry exactly?" I whisper to Sam.
He leans in and speaks so softy, I almost don’t hear the words, "One of his parents was one of the first three children of Lillith. The other parent was of the Stag's people. The man Lillith was waiting for when Adam raped her. He is one of her witch children's children. He is a shaman. It's part animal part witch. Very strong. The magic combines and makes something almost unbeatable. Henry could take us all on. He can control nearly anything. If he murdered Marcus, even to get back his own heart, it would have made him a port for the darkness. The evil would have gotten to him. He would have become like his brother. Then Jonathan could have made him work for him."
"Did you know all this already?"
He shakes his head, "No. I never knew Jonathan had a plan for Henry. I thought he was mad because Marcus tricked Henry. I guess it was act. Pretty convincing."
"What happens now?" I ask.
He laughs, "We go live at Marcus's."
I look around the meadow at the children. "They can't stay there. He is horrid."
Sam grins, "Not anymore."
"We have to deal with Shane, kill Jonathan and Lillith and Ophelia is a nightmare now. Plus we have to get back Ari." My stomach sinks. It's been so long since she was taken. I fear the worst. I try not to, but I can't help it.
"I feel it too Aimes."
I lean into him and glance up at Aleks, who is standing next to Henry.
"He isn’t going to let us kill her."
Sam shakes his head, "He isn't. We have to kill Jonathan. That is the main thing."
"And get back Ari." I look at him.
His eyes are hardened and scared. He gives a single nod. He does feel it too. The lonely pain that is freezing us all over. Making us numb.
"I'm glad you remember me again." He whispers and squeezes my leg.
"Me too." I'm not glad I remember everything else. Seeing it the other way was simpler. More confusing but simpler. Now every bad thing I've done or experienced, crawls around inside of me, threatening me with a nothingness that will eat my heart and soul.
Aleks looks distraught. He doesn’t do worked up or emotional, but he looks like he might today. His fingers tremble. He clenches them to stop it but I see it. I see him fighting the emotions. His father is dead. Dorian is dead. Lydia and Annabelle. O and Oliver. There are so few of us left. I slip my hand into the top of my shirt and feel for the feather. The softness of it between my fingers saves my sanity some days.
Giselle shakes and cries. Her and the little kids. Danny's little chubby face sobs. Memories of Lydia and Annabelle are attached to the kids. When I see them I remember so many things. Things I cling to desperately. I understand Marcus a little. He clung to Hanna for the little bit he could suck from her. I might do the same thing. I might cling to them and pray that I am able to feel. Even if it sucks and feels like I die a little bit everyday.
I pick a flower and eat it. I don’t know why. I just need something. It's bitter and silky and I know it’s a piece of Lydia that’s going to stay inside of my forever.
"I'm ready to go Aimee." Danny whispers.
I stand up and take his chubby hand in mine. The service is over. I wink him to Dr. Jekyll's house.
"This is a good place for you. You'll be safe and you're nerdy enough that Blake and the doc can use your help."
We walk into the house. Roland was at the funeral. I know he isn't home yet.
He doesn’t say anything. He clings to me, frightened of Hanna no doubt.
She walks up. She isn't smiling but I can feel the instant dislike for her. "Hi Aimee." Her words are mechanical.
"Hey. Do you know Danny?"
She shakes her head. She doesn’t really know any of us.
Her face lights up when she looks past me. I turn to see the grinning face of Sam, he can't even fight it. He has Roland with him. Roland looks less than impressed to see me. He blames me still.
"Roland." I say.
"Miss James." His words are curt and short.
Sam stumbles through his words, "H-hi. Uhm I-I'm Sam."
Hanna grins and I can smell her polluting the air worse than before. It's like being in a field of flowers you're allergic to. I drag Danny through it. He's grinning at Hanna too. I tug, "No." I mutter.
He smiles, "She still smells pretty."
I roll my eyes and knock on the door to the office.
"Come in Aimee."
I open the closed door with a quizzical look on my face.
Blake grins, "We knew it was you. Those boots you wear." He looks back at the doctor, "She really was a normal nerd once. But like the saying goes, 'Be yourself. Unless you can be Wonder Woman.' And there she is. In the flesh and blood only with black boots."
I scowl. Blake doesn’t understand the last couple days. The doctor barely does.
"This is Danny. He can help."
I look down at Danny, "Just like Lydia's. No going outside, no leaving the house period. Blake plays WOW too. I'll be back to check on you." He rolls his eyes.
"K mom."
Blake laughs. The doctor lifts an eyebrow and smirks.
"Take care of him. He's Nephilim." I wink out of the house with my own grin. I didn’t need to see the horrified look on the Jekyll's face to know it was there.
I stand outside the house and look up. I bite my lip and walk through the front door.
"GET OUT!" He screams as I cross the threshold.
"No. Stop being a bitch and get me something to drink."
He turns away from me and storms down the hallway. I wink to his lab.
He opens the door and bursts into a fit of laughter. He leans against the frame, "I should have known-oh-that's-funny."
I smile back, "You let me in. I can wink."
He laughs and turns away from the room. "You are such a bitch Aimee."
I walk after him, "You let me in there. You turned Shane into a crazy psycho. You forced yourself on Hanna, using her weird Siren juju. You Killed Dorian."
He turns sharply and puts a dirty finger in my face. I notice suddenly how disheveled and desperate he looks, "You did that. You killed him. He never loved a single person, until you." His smile is sick and satisfied.
I lean into his face, "You betrayed us. You got O murdered and let them take Ari. I want to know where she is. NOW!"
He laughs in my face and lowers his hand. "You think I know where she is? You think Jonathan trusts me? I betrayed Lorri. Jonathan isn’t so dumb as to trust me."
I grab his collar. He snarls his fangs at me. I laugh, "Go ahead. Take a long drink."
He trembles with anger and hatred, "I can't. Even if you didn’t kill me with one drink, I can't."
Tears fill his eyes. He pulls away and is gone.
"That was weird." I mutter.
