“What are you doing? Where are we going?” I laughed as my legs were shaking uncontrollably.

He led me down a narrow hallway and opened a door that led to a closet. He led me inside and then closed the door. The room was dark and the only light that I could see was the light coming from underneath the door. He lifted up my skirt and pulled down my panties. I reached for his pants as he already had them half way down. My back was pushed against the door as he went down and joyfully licked my aching area. I ran my hands through his hair as he kept going around with his tongue, licking and sucking, making it unbearable to control myself. He stopped and inserted himself inside me as he positioned his hands on each side of me against the door and quickly moved in and out of me till he released and filled my insides full of his come.


“Happy birthday baby,” he panted in my ear.

“You have control issues,” I whispered as I caught my breath. I heard him chuckle.

“You’re the one who took me into the lighthouse, now I’m returning the favor.”

“In a closet Connor?” I laughed.

“Hey anywhere we can get it right?”

I carefully opened the door as he looked out to make sure no one was coming. We left the closet and casually walked down the hallway as if nothing happened. We walked back to the table where Mason and Landon were seated.

They looked at us as Landon started to speak, “Where did you guys” and then was interrupted by Mason yelling, “OMG, they have sex hair, they just had sex somewhere.” I didn’t say anything, but the smile on both mine and Connors face answered their question.

Mason and Landon asked if we were ready to leave because they had a birthday cake waiting at home for me. I smiled as Connor motioned for the waitress to stop over and give him the bill. I excused myself to the bathroom to fix my hair and makeup. I was walking back to the table and noticed the waitress was there bending over with her cl**vage in Connors face. I could see his eyes fixated me and the panic in them as he was wondering what I was thinking. I walked up to the table and tapped the waitress on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, what the f**k do you think you’re doing?”

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She turned around and looked at me. “Listen bitch, if you’re doing all three of them then there’s no harm in letting me have a taste of this juicy one,” she smiled at Connor.

The look on his face was sheer panic as he wouldn’t take his eyes off me. “Who are you calling a bitch?” I yelled at her.

Connor stepped out of the booth and put his arm around me. “Let’s go Elle.” He quickly led me out of the bar as Mason and Landon were laughing. “Oh my god Elle, have you retracted your claws yet?” Mason laughed.

Connor kissed me on the side of my head, “I can’t take you anywhere.”

I looked sternly at him, “It’s not me; it’s you and these damn women you attract.” He laughed as he picked me up and carried me to the car.

Chapter 35


Celebrating her birthday with her was the best day of my life, except for the day I found her standing in my kitchen. I walked into the room with a 12 inch round cake, beautifully lit up with 24 burning candles. I set it in front of her and watched her smile as she closed her eyes, made a wish and blew them out. The sweetness and the innocence of her swept me off my feet and left me with a feeling I never knew I was capable of. Her smile, her laughter and the way she played with her hair when she was nervous, were some of the things I loved most about her.

I handed her the knife to cut the first piece of cake as she took it from my hand with her delicate fingers. I stood there and stared at her as she cut each piece with finesse. She looked at me with her ice blue eye; eyes that were mesmerizing and full of life.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked.

A smile fell upon my face as I answered, “How much I love you.” The words I was never able to say before now flowed freely from my lips as easy as loving her did. She leaned over and put a dab of icing on the tip of my nose and laughed. She wiped it off and held her finger to my mouth as I took it inside and licked it slowly. I saw the fire in her eyes like I do every time she looks at me.

I can’t extinguish the fear that resides in my heart with her illness. I don’t want to believe that she won’t get better, but there’s a tiny part of me that is scared shitless that she won’t. I put on a brave front for her because she needs me. She needs me to be her rock and I can’t and won’t let her down.

I lay there in bed, checking my emails while waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks into the bedroom while brushing her teeth, frantically looking for something. “What’s wrong baby?” I asked. She mumbled something; I couldn’t understand her between the toothbrush and the foam. She held up her free hand against her ear.

“Your phone?”

She shook her head. I smiled as I pulled it from between the sheets. She smiled at me and gave me thumbs up as she went back into the bathroom and spit in the sink.

“Thanks baby,” she yelled. She walked towards the bed and looked at her phone checking her messages before she pulled back the covers and climbed in. She snuggled into my chest as I put my arm around her. This was right, too right, as she softly kissed my chest and slowly drifted to sleep.

Chapter 36

I chewed my bottom lip as we walked through the doors of Sinai Grace Hospital. I tightened the grip on Connors hand.

“It’s going to be ok Elle, I’m here with you,” he sympathetically said.

“I know, I’m just a little nervous,” I pouted.

He put his arm around me and pulled me into him giving me the only safety I’ve known. We stepped into the waiting room of Dr. Murphy’s office as the leggy blonde receptionist told us to take a seat. Not too long after, the leggy blonde called my name and took us back to a small room. She handed me gown and told me to change into it as she was eyeing my boyfriend up and down, giving him suggestive looks. He turned away so not to face her while looking down at my hands wondering if I’m going to get up and bitch slap her. She saw the look on my face and exited the room quickly.

Dr. Murphy walked in with 3 large needles on a silver tray. “Good morning Ellery, are you ready for your first set of injections?”

“I guess as much as I’ll ever be,” I nervously answered.

She was flipping through my chart and then looked at me with concerning eyes.

“Tell me how you’re feeling right now, at this moment.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, “I’m scared and unsure, that’s how I’m feeling.”

She took ahold of my hand, “I know you’re scared, but this will be a walk in the park compared to chemotherapy, I promise. The others who have recently received these injections have not had any side effects.”

“That’s great Dr. Murphy, but you don’t even know if the injections are working.” She pursed her lips together as Connor walked over and put his hands on my shoulders.

“I’m confident it’s going to work; have faith Ellery.” I managed a small smile as she asked me to lie down on the bed. She looked over to Connor.

“She’s going to need you; I would suggest holding her hands.” I looked at Dr. Murphy alarmed.

“Why?” I asked.

She heavily sighed. “Ellery, I’m not going to lie to you, these injections are very painful; you are going to feel like someone lit your body on fire, but it’s only temporary and we need to keep you here under observation for a couple of hours to make sure there aren’t side effects.”

Connor sat on the side of the bed as I turned on my side to face him. Dr. Murphy called her nurse in and held up the first needle. Connor grabbed my hands as he stared directly in my eyes. “Just look at me baby and focus on nothing but me, ok?” I shook my head as Dr. Murphy inserted the first needle. I shrieked at its sting, as tears swelled in my eyes. It didn’t take long for the fiery pain to start blazing through my body.

“Ok Ellery, I’m going to give injection number 2,” Dr. Murphy said as she pierced my skin with the needle.

I let out a louder cry this time for the burning intensified. I let go of Connor and clutched his shirt with both hands as he moved in closer and wrapped his arms around me. I screamed in his chest as the last needle entered my body.

“Dr. Murphy, please, isn’t there anything you can do for her?” Connor desperately asked.

“I’m sorry Mr. Black, we have to let it run its course and it’s only temporary. I’ll be back in an hour to see how she’s doing; if you need anything or she’s having a reaction, you are to push this button immediately.”

He shook his head as she walked out of the room. My body felt like it was engulfed in flames and my soul was trying to escape.

“It’s ok,” Connor kept saying as he held me and I shook in his arms. At that point I didn’t know which was worse, this or Chemotherapy.

A couple of days had passed and we mostly stayed in. We cooked together, had lots of sex and watched movies. When Connor had to do work, I would sit in front of my easel and paint. I smiled at Connor who was sitting at the table on his laptop conducting business meetings with his employees. I was happy and it felt right. For the first time in a long time, I had hope that I would have a future and this man would be a part of it.

The next morning, I didn’t feel like getting out of bed, so I laid there and I tried to sleep, but I could hear Connor talking to someone on the phone.

“Yes mom, I’m coming and I’m bringing someone with me; she’s very special and I want you to meet her.”

It was then I realized that next week was Thanksgiving. Connor came walking into the room as I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me. He smiled as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, “How are you feeling?” he asked as his finger ran down my jaw line.

“I’m feeling ok. I heard you on the phone.”

I was talking to my mother. I’m taking you home for Thanksgiving.”

As much as I wanted to meet his family I was a hot mess of a cancer patient and I didn’t know how they would react to that.

“Did you tell your mom about me?”

“Of course I did, and she’s going to love you.”

I licked the bottom of my dry lip, “I mean did you tell her I have cancer?”

He sat there and looked at me and I could see the pain in his eyes which told me he didn’t.

“Why didn’t you tell her Connor?”

His eyes traveled to the window, “I haven’t had the chance and it’s not something I want to do over the phone Elle, I think that needs to be done in person.”

“So, what you’re saying is that you want me to spring it on her on Thanksgiving. Hi Black family, I’m Ellery Lane, your son’s girlfriend who has cancer for the second time in her 24 years of life and is nothing but a walking cancer disaster.”

He got up from the bed. “Wow Elle, you really know how to ruin a moment.”

I felt an argument coming on, but I didn’t care, I was angry at him for not telling his mother.

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