“Just wait it out,” I whisper to myself. I run my hands over my face and tuck my wet hair behind my ears as I expel a short breath. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.”
I grab the shampoo, turn my back to the harsh jets, and finish off my shower, mindlessly scrubbing my body and ignoring any thought that passes through my head.
In the dark, I slide my feet along the carpet to feel for abandoned pieces of clothing or shoes. Tripping in the dark isn’t fun, especially when your room is filled with glass tabletops and random ceramic ornaments. You’d think they’d take all of their breakables out when they hear Seth is coming to town.
Not far away, I hear his steady breathing and it sends guilt swirling in my stomach. It’s the kind of guilt that eats at your stomach lining and feels like there are rocks in your intestines. Even though I’ve done nothing wrong, I feel like I’m hiding something from him… like all of the thoughts I had in the shower were behind his back and he wouldn’t approve. My toes glide against the edge of the bed and I hunch forward, reaching for the mattress with my hands. I slide myself into bed on my belly, like a quiet seal. Rolling onto my back, I use my feet to slide the satin sheets out from underneath my ass. I move as little as I can as I grip the edge of the sheet and cover my body in the smooth fabric. Sleeping in your underwear is an amazing idea when you have sheets as silky as these. I turn away from Seth, curling up into a ball. I don’t hold him while he sleeps… in fear of him smelling my thoughts. Not a second later, his large body shifts in my direction. I hold my breath, hoping—praying—he doesn’t wake up. For the first time ever, I cringe as his hard arms circle me and drag me in to him. I breathe him in—he smells amazing.
“Not in the mood for snuggling tonight?” he asks and I can sense the smile on his lips.
He’s warm—incredibly warm—and it soaks into my skin, heating my organs. I press against him. “I thought you were asleep.”
Not a complete lie.
He squeezes me tighter against his body, letting his thumb brush over my flimsy bed bra. His thumb brushes my nipple and I grit my teeth. The sensitivity is too much to bear. It’s almost painful. It hardens immediately and I’m sure he can easily feel it through the ultra-thin lace fabric.
“Without you? Nah.”
My lips twitch as he kisses my head once. Twice. Three times. When he’s done, he nestles his head against the back of mine, burying his nose into my damp hair. “God, you smell good,” he murmurs, breathing hot air onto my scalp.
His hands drop to my tummy and he runs the rough palm of his hand up and down, hesitating at my panty line, before returning to my ribs. His touch makes my skin prickle, yearning to feel it all over my chest—between my legs. He does it over and over for a few minutes, almost lulling me into dreamland. Then, his hand stills and grows marginally heavier.
“Seth?” I mutter. I squeeze my eyes shut suddenly hoping I don’t get a response.
“Hm.” His chest vibrates against my back, waking every cell in my body. I feel them gravitate toward him, trying to pull his body into mine.
Dammit. Here goes nothing.
“We’re in this together, right? For the long haul, I mean.”
“Absolutely.” He pauses and the air becomes tense. “Why? What’s wrong?” His voice is loud and awake—all traces of sleepiness gone.
“Nothing… I’m just thinking about what Selena said.”
He exhales and shifts on the bed, pulling his arms away from me as he rolls onto his back. He takes the warmth with him and I place my hand on his hip just to feel it again.
“Selena talks just to hear her own voice, you know that better than anybody.”
“I know, but what if—”
“Look, if you’re that worried, take a pregnancy test and see for yourself. You’ve been taking your pill. I’ve seen you do it.”
I roll towards him with more confidence to talk about the ‘issue’. “And if the test is positive? What happens then?”
Another long, tense pause fills the room and I hate it. “It won’t be.”
“But what if—”
“Goodnight, Olivia,” he interrupts, rolling his body away from me. The disappearance of his body mixes with the darkness of the room and if I didn’t know any better, I’d assume I was alone in here… it sure feels like it. Weight settles on my chest and I inhale in an attempt to clear it. No such luck. Weeks ago, this kind of conversation was welcomed… then he went and saw the MGM arena with Darryl and all doors that lead to children and progressing as a family have been locked and the key hidden under a rock that I can’t locate. It’s conversations like these that make me worry about him… about the promises he’s made.
Trust. At the end of the day, I have to trust Seth. He’s my husband… I’m the girl he chose to spend the rest of his life with. I have to trust that no matter how this pans out, he’ll be there the whole way supporting me like he’s always promised. He’ll support me like I support him… I know he will.
Tomorrow I’ll take a pregnancy test and get this over and done with.
It’ll be all right… we’ll be all right.
Chapter Nine
Seth
I shake my forearm as an unbearable pressure radiates from my elbow. Before I know it, I’m on my back and Don has his legs over my chest while he straightens my arm out. I feel my joint pop and I shout out in pain. No¸ no, no, no, no.
“No!”
I try to pull away but it only makes the pain worse.
“Seth!” Multiple people are screaming my name, but I can’t single them out.
There’s a second pop and my free arm feels heavy, like it’s made from solid gold and I can’t tap. Under my straightened arm, the one being squeezed against Don, I feel his chest vibrate with laughter, then, he flicks his hips forward…
…and my arm breaks.
I jolt back to reality, breathing hard. I take in my room, subtly lit by the rising sun. I run my hands over my face, clearing off a small layer of cold sweat.
I’m home.
I haven’t lost.
It’s not over yet.
I ignore the rapid, unsteady thrum of my heart. It’s beating through my chest like a jackhammer to concrete. I stretch my arm out in search of Olivia’s warmth. There’s a brick of despair in my stomach as I ponder the possibility of her not being here. After I shut her out last night, it wouldn’t surprise me. When my fingers brush against her spine, the despair disintegrates and I slide closer. I bunch her up in my arms and feel her tiny body relax, as if I’m all she needs in order to sleep well. My heart slams against my ribcage and I wonder if she can feel it through her back. I bury my nose in her hair and inhale. Her smell, the sweetest, sexiest scent I’ve ever smelled in my life, pours into my lungs. It works its magic. It flows from my lungs and into my ribcage… it grips my heart and soothes it, returning it to a normal pace. I exhale and relax completely as I run my fingers over her taut belly, feeling her abdomen for something… I don’t really know. I felt cold last night… when I turned away from her. I shouldn’t have, but she already had my confidence wavering. What if Selena’s right? Could it be happening? Could I be well on the way to fatherhood? No… I can’t. I’m not ready. I need time to learn something—anything about being a father. No. I need to focus on my career. I need to beat Don before I think about anything or anyone else. I’ve been working way too hard these past few weeks to give up now. I’ve stopped as much emotion as I can—I’ve even resorted to treating Olivia like shit in order to keep my mind on track. You’d be surprised how easy it is to push yourself harder when you force yourself not to care. I peer at the window and the luminous glow that seeps in around the edges. It has to be close to training time. I glance over my shoulder at the alarm clock on my bedside table and sure enough, I have two minutes before I have to get up and begin training. I’d much rather stay in bed with my semi-naked, smoking hot wife, but alas, I have routines to perfect and assholes to beat. With incredible difficulty, I pull away from Olivia and slide from the bed.
When I go downstairs, Darryl and Jackson are already waiting for me. I regret giving the hotel permission to give Darryl a key card. Perhaps then I could skip on a few sessions and remain in bed, where I truly want to be.
“Are you ready, Seth?” Darryl calls from the bottom of the stairs. He bites down on a crunchy, green apple and beams up at me.
I nod once. “Let’s do it.”
By the time I’m done, my chest is heaving and my body is coated in a thick sweat. Darryl and Jackson lean against the window—Darryl is filling things out on his little clipboard and Jackson rests his head back against the glass—topless and just as sweaty as I am. All of his tattoos are on show—from his right hip to the top of his neck. I warned him against the excessive tattoos, but it seems he has no problem looking like a drug dealer.
“Well, I’m not going to say I hate living here,” Selena announces, smiling to herself as she drops onto the couch with her bowl of cereal. Her eyes rake over Jackson and I, and we smirk at her. She’ll say just about anything that comes to her pretty little head.
By the windowsill, my phone rings and I dive for it, silencing the annoying ringtone before it wakes Olivia. I still can’t believe she’s asleep. The amount of noise we made during this training session I thought would’ve woke the entire hotel. I pause and look toward the stairs. Nothing. Olivia is still asleep.
“I take it she’s not a morning person?” Jackson chuckles, his green eyes glowing at me.
He enjoys seeing me like this—wrapped around a female’s finger. “Not at the moment.”
“Who is it?” Darryl asks, not glancing up from his paperwork.
I look at the screen and freeze. “Fuck.”
Matt Somers. I slide the green key and bring the phone to my ear. “I have the feeling I’m going to regret answering this.”
Matt chuckles. “C’mon, Seth. Why do you always assume I have some secret agenda every time I call?”
“Because you do, but if by some miracle you don’t this time, leave me alone. I can’t stand small talk.”
Darryl and Jackson lean closer, straining their ears.
“Right.” He laughs nervously. “I just thought I’d touch base and see how you’re doing. How are things? How’s your wife?”
“Small talk,” I warn him with a growl. “I’m busy.”
“All right, all right.” He laughs once. “I called you because Don’s training team noticed you haven’t been using the gym.”
“They finally noticed? I haven’t been training there for a while, Matt.”
Jackson and Darryl’s eyes widen then narrow.
“Why not?” All amusement has drained from his voice and taken on a new edge.
“You know exactly why. I’m not training under the same roof as that pig and I’m not playing your fucking game. I know what you do. I know you feed off our confrontation so I’ve locked myself in my hotel room.”
He snorts. “You’re running, Seth? I didn’t pick you to be that kind of—”
“I’m not running,” I snap. “This may be a joke to you, but this is my life and my career.”
“Your career, you say? Well then, since you put it that way, as your boss, I’m telling you to crawl out of your fucking shell and make some public appearances. If you want to survive in this business, kid, you best listen carefully. I own you, do you understand? You do what I fucking tell you to. You punch when I say punch, sit when I tell you to sit, and jump when I say jump.” He pauses and my phone creaks as I squeeze it in my hand. The nerve of this asshole. “I’ve had punks like you before, Seth. Ask me where they are now? It’s in your best interest to listen to me, and for your sake, the fight better make it into the history books or your ass is grass.”
He hangs up and I lower the phone before dropping it on the carpet. He’s going to force me into his game… and I don’t have a choice. I have to play right into their hands or risk losing everything.
That’s it. I know what I have to do.
“We’re going out,” I announce, storming toward the stairs.
“Where are we going?” Jackson calls after me.
“To find Don.” I clear the steps two at a time. If Matt wants a public appearance, he’s gonna get one. He’s gonna get the biggest spectacle he’s ever seen. I’ll start a Goddamn riot and bring it down on the MMAC. Matt Somers is going to wish he never asked me to play his game. I like games—more importantly—I like to win, and I will win.
It wasn’t hard to locate Don. Selena found his Twitter page and the moron posted a photo of his location with a slim blonde perched nicely on his lap. It’s nine a.m. and he’s at the Aria’s ellipse pools with the girl, sipping on daiquiris. It seems he’s not as serious as me about his training. If he thinks he’s got this in the bag, there’s something wrong with him.
Darryl warned me to stay away from Don. He begged me to ignore Matt’s words, but I couldn’t. I’m going to destroy Don—not physically, not this time. The game I play will be purely mental. I’ll hit him so hard he’s going to enter the training room and not come out until the night of the fight. I want him to steam from the ears and swear on his life that he’s going to obliterate me. It’s time I get into his head and keep him from mine.
