Wow. Mathilda had done it again! She had talked Old Morris into doing exactly what we wanted just like she did with Nurse Watkins. Wanda, Mathilda, and I walked back to Spookie House by moonlight. Wanda was so excited that she was gabbing nonstop: ". . . And when he saw your ring Araminta that was amazing and then he said where did you get that and you said it's none of your business and he said yes it is it is my long lost family heirloom and it is worth a fortune and you said " "Wanda, my ears are aching, " Mathilda complained. But for once I was enjoying listening to Wanda because what had just happened was incredible. Mathilda had had a brilliant idea and it had worked. She figured the ring was worth about as much as Sir Horace's old castle. Wanda and I could hardly believe it, but Mathilda knows stuff about rings and she was right. So when Old Morris saw his long lost fam ily heirloom ring on my finger I told him that I would swap it for his horrible Water Wonderland and he agreed at once! He rushed off and found the auctioneer who was hiding in the old gatehouse and we signed all the papers.
Well,actually, Mathilda signed. She had to sign for Sir Horace because Sir Horace is officially dead and I am too young to sign anything, which is stupid but that is how it is. But it was me who got to give the papers to Sir Horace and tell him that his castle really did belong to him once more! That was the best moment ever. He rattled so much that I thought he was going to fall to pieces from shock but he didn't. He just said, "Thank you, Miss Spookie, " in a husky voice and sat down very suddenly. I felt really happy. But now, as we turned the bend in Spookie Lane and saw dark Spookie House silhouetted against the moonlight, I did not feel so great. We were going home to an empty house a house with no ghosts.
We didn't even have Ned and Jed because they were staying with Sir Horace at the castle to keep the nasty FitzMaurice ghosts away forever. I was also sad because I had not even had time to say good bye to Sir Horace or any of the castle ghosts because Mathilda had sud denly become very bossy. She said something to Sir Horace and the ghosts had disappeared really fast. And now, as we walked past the gate stuck on top of the hedge and up the garden path to a dark Spookie House, I felt as gloomy as Uncle Drac. I was thinking that my birthday had been a very small lettuce sandwich hiding a huge, squishy slug because in the end we had lost all our ghosts. Spookie House was dark and quiet when we pushed open the front door.
As soon as we got in Mathilda lit the big candle by the door and started whispering something in Wanda's ear. Wanda giggled and looked very excited. But I felt really miserable. It is not funny when your cousin and your so called best friend whisper things and do not let you in on the secret especially if it is your birthday. Wanda and Mathilda must have realized they were being rotten because they began to sing "Happy Birthday to You" very loudly so that I would not say anything, while Wanda kept looking around with big excited eyes like a goldfish with too much fish food in her bowl. And then the loveliest thing happened. Halfway through "Happy Birthday to You, " Sir Horace walked out of the cellar door under the stairs with a huge bunch of bal loons and Edmund and Fang. Then the most amazing thing happened all the castle ghosts followed them!
It was wonderful. Mathilda banged the gong and yelled, "Surprise, surprise! Happy Birthday, Araminta!" and she and Wanda threw a whole storm of streamers. It was great! Wanda told me that Mathilda had arranged for all the ghosts except for Ned and Jed, who were on guard at the castle to rush over to Spookie House before we got home and hide in the cellar. The ghosts had to wait until they heard Wanda and Mathilda singing "Happy Birthday to You!" and then come out. I thought that was such a wonderful idea. And there was even party food. That was what Wanda and Mathilda had been hiding in the first kitchen-on the right just before the laundry room and that was why they went shopping together.
We had a ton of cheese and onion chips, candies, Coke, ice cream, popcorn, Jell-O, nuts and crackers, a birthday cake with a ghost on it and Mathilda had even made some lettuce sand wiches because she thought that I liked them. I felt a bit sad when I saw them because they reminded me of Uncle Drac, but I soon for got when Mathilda gave me my birthday pres ent. It was squashy like Uncle Drac's present but much bigger. I probably broke the record for opening birthday presents. I tore off the black and red wrapping paper and pulled out the most fan tastic hat I have ever seen. It was just like Mathilda's only better! It was soft and black with tiny red spots all over the brim and black lace hanging from it like little curtains.
The whole hat was drizzled with silvery spiderwebs and it was covered in weird things. There were silver charms, a tiny dried mouse, two dried toads, a small squashed frog, a minute lizard, and a baby bat. Mathilda said they were from her special collection and that she had decorated the hat h e r s e l f t h at was what she had been doing in her room. It was the best present ever. I put it on right away and I did not take my birthday hat off all night.
It was such a great birthday party. I didn't miss Uncle Drac and Aunt Tabby one tiny bit well, maybe I missed Uncle Drac a little. But just as we were starting another game of ghost bumps you close your eyes and run around the room and try to bump into as many ghosts as possible the phone rang. The phone in Spookie House has a weird, ghostly ring to it, like a bell underwater. All the castle ghosts gathered around the phone and looked at it like it was some kind of strange animal. Mathilda picked it up. "Spookie House!" she said, still giggling at something one of the more handsome pages had said.
I could hear Aunt Tabby's voice from the other side of the hall. "Who's that?" squawked the phone. "Mathilda Spookie. " "Oh, hello, Mathilda. I would like to speak to Emilene, please, dear, " said the phone. "Um, she's not here at the moment. " "Where is she?" The voice on the phone sounded suspicious. Well, as soon as Aunt Tabby realized that Great aunt Emilene was not here at all and it was Mathilda who was looking after us, the squawks got so loud I reckon you could have heard them at the top of the house. Eventually Mathilda put the phone down. She looked flustered. "Aunt Tabby's coming back, " she said. "Now. " "Now?" I gasped.
"Well, in about an hour. They are at the air port. " "At the airport?" "Yes. They flew back this morning. It was all a disaster. Brenda was allergic to the bats and has developed a horrible rash. Drac got sunburned on the way to the caves and Barry was bitten on the nose by a giant bat. " I laughed, but Wanda said angrily, "That's not funny, Araminta. Poor Dad. And poor Mom. " "Is Aunt Tabby all right?" I asked. "Oh, she's fine, " said Mathilda. "I don't think anything attacked her. " It wouldn't dare, I thought. Mathilda looked around in a panic. So did I. Spookie House looked a little different from when Aunt Tabby had left.
In fact, it looked very different--it was a terrible mess. And the party had not helped; there were party food and streamers and burst balloons everywhere. I added "House trashed by sur prise ghost party" to my list of Things that Aunt Tabby Will Not Like When She Comes Home. "We've got to clean up, " I said. "Fast!" But before we had time to even look for a broom or a bucket or a trash bag, there was a loud ring on the doorbell. We all jumped. The doorbell got stuck as usual and kept on ringing. "They're back!" gulped Wanda. "It can't be them, " I shouted over the ring ing. "They've got a key. " "What?" "They've got a--oh, drat!" The doorbell would not stop. I thought things could not get any worse, but when I opened the door to unstick the bell I realized they could.
Standing on the doorstep was Nurse Watkins. "Girls!" she gasped. "Oh no!" I said. And then I remembered what I had learned from Mathilda and I said, "Oh, hello, Nurse Watkins. How nice to see you. " And actually, I really meant it--because suddenly I had a perfect Plan.
One hour later Nurse Watkins put her mop and bucket down and said, "Finished!" And she had. I don't know how she did it, but Nurse Watkins had cleaned Spookie House from top to bottom. Mathilda, Wanda, and I had helped, but Nurse Watkins was a cleaning whirlwind compared to us. And everything on my list of Things that Aunt Tabby Will Not Like When She Comes Home was fixed.
The castle ghosts didn't want to go, so they had hidden in the cellar again along with all the balloons and the party stuff. Wanda and I had got the bats back in the turret. Mathilda had put away Aunt Tabby's clothes. Wanda and I had put Aunt Tabby's best chest back on the landing, glued it together, and put the old tennis balls back inside. Nurse Watkins had stuck Aunt Tabby's best vase back together. Nurse Watkins had mopped the kitchen ceiling. Nurse Watkins had thrown away the dead spider plant. Nurse Watkins had swept up the smashed plates. Nurse Watkins had scrubbed the birthday cake off the rug. Nurse Watkins had swept up the cheese and onion chips off the hall floor and the popcorn off the stairs and had unwound the streamers from the clock and brushed the confetti off the monster chair.
Nurse Watkins had vacuumed the Jell-O off the banisters. Nurse Watkins had wiped the ice cream off Sir Horace's visor where Mathilda had tried to feed him. Nurse Watkins had been amazing. I expect you are wondering how I got Nurse Watkins to do all the cleaning. Well, Mathilda says that if you are polite to people, they are usually happy to help you. That is what Aunt Tabby says too--but the trouble is that when I am polite to Aunt Tabby, she is not happy to help me with anything, so I didn't believe it. But Mathilda was right and it worked with Nurse Watkins. I shall probably try it again sometime.
When I first saw Nurse Watkins at the door I thought she was very grumpy, but then I realized that actually she was worried. She had been cycling past Spookie House and had heard the ghost party noise coming from the house. She knocked on the door to see if we were okay. When Nurse Watkins saw the mess she thought that she was to blame. After all, Aunt Tabby had left her in charge, not Mathilda. So when I was really nice and asked her to help she was so relieved, particularly when she heard that Aunt Tabby was coming home at any moment. In fact we had only just put all the buckets away when we heard Aunt Tabby's key in the lock. We all quickly lined up by the door with big "Welcome Home" smiles. Aunt Tabby ran in, then she stopped and looked really surprised. "Beryl!" she said. "So you are here.
Thank goodness. . . . I thought-- well, I don't know why, but when I spoke to Mathilda I thought she was here on her own. But how silly of me--you would never have left her in charge. " We looked at Nurse Watkins and Nurse Watkins looked at us. No one said a word. And then Aunt Tabby screamed so loud that it made our ears ring. "What-is-that-you-have-got-on-your-head- Araminta?" she yelled. "Oh-my-goodness there-are-dead-things-on-it!" I smiled. My birthday hat was really creating an impression, just like I knew it would. "It's my birthday hat, Aunt Tabby, " I said. "Isn't it wonderful?" "Wonderful?" gulped Aunt Tabby. "Wonderful?"
"I think it's very nice, Minty, " said Uncle Drac, walking in dragging his suitcase full of bats. "Thank you, Uncle Drac, " I said. And then I nearly screamed too, because Uncle Drac looked very weird. He was bright red and very shiny, with white circles around his eyes where I guessed Aunt Tabby had made him wear her UV light protector goggles. And he wasn't the only one who looked weird either. Barry had a big bandage right around the middle of his face. But Brenda was the weird est of all--she had big pink, gloopy lumps all over the parts that you could see and she had swelled up quite a lot too. She reminded me of a spotty balloon Aunt Tabby gave me for my birthday when I was little.
I rushed up to Uncle Drac and I hugged him really tight. "Ouch!" he yelled. "Oops, sorry. Did you have a nice time, Uncle Drac?" I asked. "No, " replied Uncle Drac. "Oh dear, " I said. "But I am having a nice time now. I wanted to come home for your birthday, " he said. He turned to Barry, Brenda, and Aunt Tabby. "Now, what were we going to sing? One, two, three . . . " "No!" I said. "No, don't sing. Please. " "Don't be shy, Minty. " Uncle Drac smiled. "Everyone has to have `Happy Birthday to You' sung to them on their birthday. " "No. No, really I don't--"
And then they all started, including Nurse Watkins. "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to--ooooooh!" Right on cue all the ghosts poured out of the cellar door along with a whole cloud of balloons and streamers! Brenda, Barry, Nurse Watkins, and Aunt Tabby all screamed. But the ghosts from Sir Horace's castle took no notice--nothing was going to stop them from enjoying the best party in hundreds of years. Wanda started another game of ghost bumps, and some of the knights began to dance with the ladies in pointy hats. Brenda found the birthday cake and made Aunt Tabby and Barry eat some, but Nurse Watkins did not move; she just stared and stared as though she'd never seen anything like it before in her life--which I don't suppose she had.
And then a very handsome knight came over to her, bowed, and asked her to dance. Nurse Watkins stopped staring, flashed him a bril liant smile, and very elegantly glided through the hall, her nurse's cape swishing behind her as she twirled around. "Well, well, " said Uncle Drac, "a ghost birthday party. That's wonderful!" "Isn't it?" I laughed. "Have a lettuce sand wich, Uncle Drac. " "Thank you, Minty, " said Uncle Drac. He took a big bite. "No slugs tonight, " he said with a big smile that showed his lovely pointy teeth at the corners of his mouth. "No slugs, Uncle Drac. " I laughed. "Not even a tiny one. "
THE END
