"I don't know." She shook out the excess water from the colander. "You came in here looking funny."
"It's been a rough couple days."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"I do, actually."
"Okay. Shoot." She dug into one of the lower cabinets for her apple peeler.
"I can't."
Stacey straightened and hid her unreasonable feeling of hurt and disappointment with a caustic,
"Of course not."
"You wouldn't believe me."
"I'll have to take your word for it." She met his gaze and held it. "Since I've got nothing else to go on."
They both waited a long moment. She sensed the conflict in him, the need to say something important, but she couldn't figure out what it would be.
So she made her best guess. "You're not going to be living in the Valley full-time, are you?"
He frowned. "I have to travel a lot."
"Okay." She sighed. "You're not going to ask me to be exclusive when you're in town, but single when you're not, right? Please don't."
"I'm not an asshole, Stacey," he said with quiet dignity. "Can you raise the bar a little when you think about me?"
Connor watched Stacey fidget nervously and inwardly kicked himself. He was bungling this all to hell, but he didn't know how to fix it.
He wanted to be with her.
It was as simple and as complicated as that.
She sighed audibly. "I'm sorry." She tossed her hands up. "I just don't know what you're doing here. Why you're looking at me like that. What I'm supposed to do or say."
I'm here because I couldn't let you go home alone when there are freaks out there. I'm looking at you like this because I've been in your room and I touched the blankets on your bed that keep you warm. I want you to say that you want me there.
With you.
With an impatient hand, she pushed the mass of dark curls back from her face. He knew she wanted promises and stability. Perhaps not promises of forever, but he couldn't even guarantee her anything beyond this moment. He might be on a plane tonight with no clue when he would be back. The best way to keep her safe was by stopping the danger before it reached her.
Aidan was right. Connor knew he was the worst possible choice for her, but that didn't silence the part of him that insisted she was his to take care of.
He straightened. "Do you have tools?"
Busy work. That's what he needed. Something to occupy him physically while his brain worked to sort out his dilemma. Otherwise, he'd be all over her in a minute, coaxing and seducing her into the tumble he so desperately wanted. Face to face.
Her legs wrapped around his hips. Her nails in his back.
"Only the basics." Her green eyes gave so much away. He wondered if she knew that. "They're in a yellow metal bucket just inside the door."
"I'll get to work."
"Thank you."
Gratitude. He heard it in her voice and the primitive part of his psyche wanted to howl in victory.
She needed something and he could provide it.
Mine.
Connor had never felt even the slightest bit possessive about a lover in his life. But then he hadn't felt even the slightest bit like himself since he'd met Stacey.
He caught up the bucket handle, pushed open the screen door, and stepped out onto the porch.
There was a good bit of distance from the house to the street. A wide expanse of lawn took over from the flower beds and ran all the way to the chain link fence.
It was a cute house. Quaint and charming. It was a home that suited Stacey and revealed another side of her. He wanted to stay for dinner and another movie. He wanted to love her body again, the right way. The long way. All night. He wanted to wake up with her wiggling her delightful ass against his cock. Only this time they'd both be naked. He could anchor her leg on his hip and push into her from behind—
The door slammed shut behind him.
"That's got to go," he growled, turning to glare at the offending object.
Connor set down the tools and got to work. He forcibly pushed thoughts of Elders and Nightmares from his mind. He had only this single day with Stacey and though he'd come here because he feared for her traveling alone, he now intended to spend the hours with her indulging as if there were no tomorrow.
Because, for them, there wasn't.
Chapter 9
"There!"
Pushing to his feet, Connor stood on the now repaired step and jumped up and down. It bore the abuse beautifully.
"Yum," Stacey purred.
Glancing up as the screen door opened, he watched her step outside. "Hi."
"Hi back."
Connor knew that look she had in her eyes. Other women had been giving it to him for ages. It was the first time he'd gotten it from Stacey, though, and coupled with the unconscious licking of her lips it heated his blood.
"Sweetheart," he purred, "you look ready to eat me alive."
"Have you been out here shirtless the whole time?" she asked, a bit breathlessly. She'd put her hair up into adorable pigtails and was carrying two glasses filled with reddish liquid on ice. For some reason, the girlish hairstyle made him hot as hell. There was nothing immature about Stacey, but the look brought to mind some role-playing that he'd love to indulge in with her.
"The last half hour or so."
"I'm sorry I missed it."
His mouth curved. "I'm still here."
She looked as if she was considering his offer. He helped her along a little by reaching down and stoking the straining length of his erection through his jeans.
"Christ, you're brazen," she muttered, eyes riveted.
"You want me. I want you back," he said simply.
"My body gets ready to follow through.
Pointless to pretend otherwise."
Stacey blew out her breath and then smiled with false cheerfulness. It didn't reach her eyes, which were clouded with confusion and longing. "I thought you might enjoy some cranberry juice."
He knew when to push and when to pull back.
"I'd love some." The food tasted better here; he'd give the mortal plane that much credit. The Chinese food had been phenomenal, as was the glass of orange juice he had enjoyed in lieu of coffee that morning. He could picture a life of overeating and then burning off all the extra energy in bed with Stacey.
Paradise. A dream.
"Hey!" he said with exaggerated mock surprise.
He lifted a hand to his ear. "Hear that?"
She froze on the third step with a frown marring the space between her brows. Then her eyes widened. Tossing a quick glance over her shoulder at the porch, she cried, "You fixed the door!"
Her delighted smile hit him hard, because this time it lit up her beautiful green eyes.
He shrugged as if he weren't all puffed up with manly pride. "Technically, it was the little arm thingy that didn't work."
Stacey came down the last few steps and handed him a glass. She caught one his fingers with a quick scissor of her own and held him in place.
"Thank you."
"You're very welcome." Connor stood there a moment, forcing himself to breathe in measured rhythm.
She looked away. Releasing him, she walked over to the porch railing and rested her elbows atop it.
She seemed melancholy and he didn't know what to say, so he sank into the nearby swinging bench and drank deeply.
"With your family so dedicated to military service," she began, "why did you retire? Were you injured?"
Connor inhaled sharply, debating how to reply. In the end, he found that he could only be truthful with her. "I lost faith in our government," he admitted, watching carefully for her reaction.
"When I no longer believed they were acting in the best interests of the people, I had to leave."
"Oh." She looked at him with sympathy. "I'm sorry. You sound so disappointed."
And she sounded as if she cared that he was, which hit him like a heat wave, misting his skin with sweat. The only person he shared anything personal with was Aidan and the comfort Connor received from him was entirely different from the comfort Stacey provided. She made him want to share more, give her more of himself, increase their bond because it strengthened him to know she was there.
"I wanted to trust them." He rocked gently, enjoying the afternoon breeze that smelled like freshly cut grass and the fragrant flowers Stacey had planted around the porch. He wasn't home, but he felt as if he was. "It's tough realizing that you deliberately fooled yourself because the truth was too painful to acknowledge."
"Connor." She sighed and came toward him. He slid over to give her room to sit next to him.
"So where do you go from here?" she asked, staring into the contents of her glass.
"I don't know. Once Aidan recovers, we'll sit down and figure out what's next."
"Are you working for McDougal, too?"
"No."
"How long will you be here?"
"I don't know. Not long. Another day, maybe."
"Oh…"
They rocked together in silence for a time and he watched her from beneath heavy-lidded eyes, noting her restlessly moving fingers. She'd changed into a pink tank top and overall shorts that bared her lithe legs. He was enamored with the view, riveted by the flex and release of her thigh muscles as she pushed the swing to and fro.
"I bet you're excited to go."
His mouth curved ruefully. "Why do you say that?"
Stacey gestured around them with a wide sweep of her hand. "You must be bored."
"Must I?" Connor reached over, wrapped his arm around her slim waist and tugged her closer.
"What would you be doing if I wasn't here?"
She shrugged. "Cleaning. Laundry. Sometimes I run over to the Movie Experience and catch the latest action flick."
"Don't you date?" he asked softly.
