The next evening Becky found me in the family room, A still in my pajamas, staring at a fiercely fanged and red-eyed Kiefer Sutherland on the TV with a box of tissues in my lap and clutching my eternity ring.
"She hasn't been out all day," my dad said to her. "She won't say what's wrong, but I have a feeling it has to do with Alexander."
"What happened?" Becky asked, sitting on the couch with me.
"Alexander hates me," I whimpered.
"He does not."
"We got into a fight."
"You two?" she asked, surprised. "I can't believe it. You never fight."
When I noticed my dad was out of the room, I leaned in to Becky.
"I wanted to see if he'd turn me - " I whispered. "And I pushed him too far."
"Did you make him bite you?" she asked, seriously scared.
"No. But I asked him when he would. And I pressed him too hard."
"Alexander doesn't seem the type to get mad."
"He does get angry - but mostly at the Maxwells. Not usually at me."
"Well, maybe he was having a bad day - or night," she corrected.
"I don't know. I get so impatient. Having Stormy here has been so cool. I see her life like what it would have been for me if I were born a vampire. And with every passing day, I feel like I'm missing out on being that person. Only when we had this fight, I realized ... this is who I am. I am a mortal dating a vampire. And if that is all I ever am, then I am still truly blessed. I want Alexander more than I want to be a vampire."
"Does he know that?" she asked.
"Why wouldn't he?"
"He's only human..." Becky began. "I mean, I guess he's not."
We both laughed, though mine was through my pain.
"It has to be so hard to be a vampire," Becky continued. "Now that I know the truth about Alexander, it really got me thinking lately. To be goth is hard enough. But imagine being a vampire. It doesn't matter where you are - you can't really be yourself."
"That's what Alexander says."
"He should know," she said gently. "He's only protecting you, Raven. I would hope if Matt were in that position, he would want to protect me, too."
"Shouldn't Alexander be happy that I want to make the change with him?"
"I can't imagine asking Matt to change me into something I'm not. Anyway, out of all people, I thought you'd want to be yourself."
"But you know I've always wanted to be a vampire. Wouldn't you want to change into something you've always wanted to become?"
"Yes."
"I thought I could talk about this with him."
"Maybe when you are together, he doesn't want to talk," she said coyly. "Maybe he wants to turn you but wishes he didn't. And when you bring it up it only reminds him of the huge decision he will have to make someday."
"I don't want it if it's not with Alexander. Now I blew it. We can't break up." I wiped away a fresh round of tears. "I've lost everything!"
"It's okay," Becky tried to comfort me. "You aren't broken up."
"I don't know. He was really hurt."
"Let's go to his house. You can talk again, tell him how you feel. I'm sure this will all blow over in a heartbeat." Becky helped me get myself together and handed me an outfit to wear. We got into her truck, and it felt like an eternity before we pulled up to the Mansion. I imagined our conversation. I'd tell Alexander I was sorry, and he'd refuse to see me anymore or agree that it was a big mistake. I was hoping for the latter. Becky waited in her truck while I jumped out, raced up the Mansion stairs, and pounded on the serpent knocker. The ring Alexander had given me shined in the streetlight.
I'd been so foolish to question him. He was a vampire and he needed me way more than I gave him credit for, and, as usual, I had made everything about myself.
Now I was tortured, too, for my foolishness.
Jameson finally came to the door.
"Is Alexander home?"
"No, Miss Raven, he went out a few minutes ago."
"Did he say where he was going?"
"No, but he did look like he was in a hurry."
"Who's there?" I heard Stormy ask.
"It's Miss Raven." He opened the door wide enough for me to see Stormy at the bottom of the staircase. My makeup and charcoal eyeliner couldn't hide that I'd been crying.
"What's wrong?" Stormy asked. She pulled me inside.
"Oh, nothing." I tried to be strong. "Do you know where Alexander is?"
"No. He was in his room all night and wouldn't talk. Did something happen?"
"We got into a small fight."
She took me by the hand and led me into the parlor room. "Sit down," she said like a lady.
I sat down feeling awful. I didn't have control over Alexander and how he felt about me - whether I'd really pushed him too far or he just needed time to cool off. The pain of our separation was killing me.
"What happened?" she asked.
I wasn't sure what to say to his sister. She could change her mind about me and tell Alexander how he was more meant for Luna than he was for me. But I'd gotten to know Stormy so well that I really thought we'd bonded. And I was so distraught, I needed to talk to someone, and there weren't many people in tny n'his town who I could talk to about the subject of vampire bites.
"I asked him about turning me," I said. "And I think I pushed him too far."
"You should be able to talk to him about anything."
"You should be able to talk to him about anything."
"I thought so, too. But you know Alexander. He likes to be calm and rational. And I get impulsive, moody, and emotional."
"I do, too," she said.
She put her arm around me. "You have to know. It's because of you that Alexander didn't go back to Romania. It wasn't because he was mad at me because I told my parents where he was the night of the covenant ceremony. He stayed because he didn't want to leave you." I was comforted by Stormy's kind words. "Thank you," I said. "But I think I blew it, though. I'm going to have him running home now."
"He's not like that. He gets angry and broods. He's a guy, after all."
"Where could he have gone?" I asked.
"Maybe Sebastian knows." She hopped off the chair. "We'll have to find out."
I gave Stormy a big hug. "Thank you," I said. "You really are a great friend."
She appeared truly pleased by my compliment and grabbed my hand as we headed down the staircase and out the front door.
Stormy got into Becky's truck with me, and we headed to Sebastian's apartment. I hadn't been to it before but I knew where it was.
Sebastian lived in a four-family unit in downtown Dullsville next to the Sugar and Spice restaurant.
The Mustang was there - but not the Mercedes. It wasn't a good sign.
I rang the bell a million times.
"Hey, dude, lay off the bell," we heard him say into the intercom.
"It's Raven. Is Alexander with you?"
"No."
"Can we come up?"
"We? Uh... Sure."
The three of us tromped up the steps to Sebastian's door.
"Hey, ladies. What's up?" Sebastian was standing in his jeans and with his hair damp as if he'd just showered.
"Have you seen Alexander?" I asked.
"No. What's up?"
"We were just looking for him," Stormy said. "Jameson said he went out, but we don't know where."
"Are you okay?" he asked me. My eyes were still puffy; I felt like "crybaby" was written all over my face.
"Yes."
"They got in a fight," Stormy blurted out. "And when I find him I'm going to read him the riot act."
"You do that," Sebastian said with a chuckle.
"Maybe he went to the Crypt. I was supposed to meet him there later tonight."
I sighed. Maybe Alexander was there. I wasn't looking forward to trying to reconcile in front of all the vampires of Dullsville, but I didn't have a choice. I wanted to make up regardless of how or where it happened.
"Off to the Crypt," Stormy said.
"Hey, wait up for me," Sebastian said, putting on a T-shirt and boots. "I don't want to miss a thing." Becky drove us to the Crypt, with Sebastian following closely behind.
When we arrived, I was anxious to find Alexander. We saw Onyx and Scarlet talking by the coffins.
"Is Alexander here?" Sebastian asked.
"We haven't seen him," Onyx said.
"We have to find him," Stormy explained. "It's very urgent."
"What's up?" Scarlet asked.
"I just need to read him the riot act," she said.
The girls laughed.
"He might be here somewhere," I suggested.
"I'm going to hang here, dudes," Sebastian said. He sidled up to Onyx, who appeared glad to see him. "I'll give you a buzz if he shows up." Becky, Stormy, and I headed into the Crypt, where we ran a younger clubster - Valentine. I wasn't sure if Stormy knew about Valentine and Billy's confrontation at our house. And I wasn't going to tell her about it now.
"Hey, Stormy!" Valentine said.
"Hi, Valentine. Have you seen Alexander?"
"No. Uh ... did Billy come with you guys?" he asked.
"No," she said. "We came to find Alexander."
"Great! While you're waiting for him to show, we can hang out."
"Uh, I really need to find him," she said.
"You have all night. We can hang out together. Want a drink?"
"I'm not thirsty." She was distracted, scanning the crowd for her brother.
"Well, I am," he teased. "And it's not for anything served at the bar."
It was odd to see Valentine flirt with Stormy.
"I'll go and look for him and catch up to you in a few," Becky said.
"Thank you," I mouthed to her. I, too, was scanning the crowd for Alexander, and I wasn't about to leave Stormy by herself in the club.
"Why don't we dance?" Valentine asked Stormy.
"Maybe we can later," she answered.
Valentine appeared disappointed, but that didn't stop him from trying other tactics. "Do you want to play pinball? My brother just got a cool machine in today."
"Not now," Stormy said. "We're on a mission."
"I'm glad it'll just be us hanging out from now on," he whispered to her.
"What do you mean?"
"Billy and Henry - " I overheard him say.
"What about them?"
"They're old news."
"What do you mean?"
"Ah, we don't really mix well together. After that night at Henry's. They could have really hurt us."
"But they didn't."
"Well, next time we might not be so lucky. Our kind needs to stick together."
"No, we don't. In fact, we need to branch out. And that's just what I am doing."
"No, we don't. In fact, we need to branch out. And that's just what I am doing."
"Are you going to tell him what you really are?" he asked.
"No."
"What if he finds out?" he continued to whisper. "Raven knows. You think he wants to be one of us?"
"I don't know."
"Of course you do. And how do you think he'll respond to taking a vampire to a dance?"
"Is that what this is about? My going to the dance with Billy?"
Valentine did appear hurt when Stormy reiterated that she had gone with my brother to the fall dance. "When he finds out about you, how do you think he'll really respond, Stormy?"
"He won't find out!" Stormy said.
"You have to be friends with our kind," he insisted.
She looked at me. "Raven isn't a vampire," she said. "And she's dating one. Plus her friends are vampires. I want to be like Raven. I am a vampire and have mortal friends."
She shot me a triumphant smile; I was so pleased to know that Stormy admired me in any way.
"Besides," she said strongly to Valentine, "you can't tell me who I can or can't be friends with. And if that's the way you're going to be - then you aren't a true friend."
She grabbed my arm. "We have to go find Alexander," she said, and led me through a group of dancers.
Just then Stormy spotted Luna standing by the bar.
"I need to talk to her," she said, storming over. I followed close behind.
"Hi, Stormy Girl!" Luna squealed when she noticed the young Sterling. She opened her arms for a warm embrace but Stormy faced her with her hands on her hips."I thought you were my friend," she charged.
"I am." Luna was overly sincere.
"But why did Jagger lure Raven onto the altar?" Stormy argued.
Luna laughed as if the event were as mundane as getting pizza. "You know my brother." Stormy wasn't softening. Instead she got angrier. "But you were there, too. Why didn't you stop him?"
"I don't know," she said. "It happened so fast."
"It did? It looked like it was something you both planned."
"Stormy," Luna said with an ultrasoft voice. "This wasn't about you."
"But it was. Alexander's my brother. And Raven? She is like my older sister."
Luna's blue eyes turned raging red. She quickly caught herself getting tense and tried to cover it up with a saccharine smile.
"Stormy," she began sweetly. "You don't understand. You're just a kid."
"I understand. Everyone says they don't trust you. And I have a sense of people not to trust. Jagger. Trevor. But you? I really missed the mark. You really let me down."
"I'm sorry, Stormy," she said as kind as she could. "I never meant to hurt you." I really thought Luna was telling her the truth, as if she hadn't thought out the ramifications of her actions that night.
Jagger noticed us talking, and Stormy's stance gave off the appearance of a girls' feud. "What's the commotion?" he asked.
I stared him down.
"It's okay," he said to me. "The offer isn't good anymore."
When Jagger looked at Stormy, she wasn't budging, either. She stared up at the Maxwell twin with vehemence.
"Why did you do that to my family and friends?" Stormy charged. "Isn't it enough what you have here? This club? If it wasn't for Alexander, you wouldn't be here at all. You should be thanking him, not trying to stab him in the back."
Both siblings were shocked at her words.
Just then Valentine stepped out from behind us.
"So this is why you don't like me?" he said to Stormy. His voice couldn't hide his sadness but instead gave it away. "Because of them?" t=" "W
"No - " she said to him, "it's not about them. I do like you. But I want to have more friends."
"It is their fault," he insisted. Now Valentine was the one squaring off at his older siblings. "You guys always have to make trouble. It's bad enough at home.
But here, too? Why can't you leave well enough alone? Alexander likes Raven. Let them be."
"I was just trying to help Raven out," Jagger answered defensively.
"Well, you weren't," Stormy said. "If you want to help her out, just be her friend. And Alexander's." I was so impressed with Stormy's arguments and sticking up for me in front of Jagger, I was speechless. But I'd let her take over for long enough, and it was time for me to step in.
"Having a dance club is nice, but not if no one here is your friend," I said to Jagger.
"I don't need friends," Jagger mumbled. But clearly he did. He liked being the popular one in town now that he owned the club. He gazed out at the crowd as if he was really wondering how many of them he could call his friends.
"It's funny," he said as if we weren't in the room. "I don't know these people. Even Onyx and Scarlet. They are all here because of the club." His voice was reflective and suddenly soft. "Alexander has been a friend to me. I guess I really never realized it until now." Stormy relaxed her stance and appeared pleased with Jagger's reaction. And Luna was equally moved. She didn't want to be the only one who wasn't suddenly on the Sterling side.
"I'm sorry, Stormy," Luna said. "I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you, of all people." I felt she seemed sincere. This time I think the example she was setting for her brother and her younger friend really hit her.
"Speaking of Alexander," Jagger said. "Where is he? I'd like to talk to him about that night."
"We were hoping he was here," I said. "You haven't seen him?"
They shook their heads.
"Were you supposed to meet him here?" Jagger asked.
"Uh, no. I just thought he might show up."
"Well, maybe we can dance until he does," Valentine said to Stormy.
"Uh ... that would be great. But I really want to find him."
Valentine appeared deflated, and Stormy put her hand on his shoulder. "But the next dance is all yours," she said to her lifelong friend.
His sullen face brightened.
"If you see Alexander, tell him I need to speak with him," she said to the Maxwells. "Immediately." They nodded affirmatively and gave her a smile.
They nodded affirmatively and gave her a smile.
We scanned every corner of the Crypt and finally saw Becky.
"I haven't seen him anywhere," my best friend finally said.
"Neither have we." I was disheartened. "Well, I guess we should go."
We left the club, and Becky drove us back to the Mansion to drop off Stormy.
"When Alexander gets home," Stormy said, "I'll give him a good talking to."
I leaned over and gave Stormy a big hug. She had become a really good friend to me, and I cherished her.
As we drove to my house, it began to pour. Becky dropped me off in the driveway.
"Thanks, Becky. I'll let you know if I hear anything."
"Don't worry, Raven. It will be okay. Someday you'll look back on this time and barely remember it."
"I hope so," I said, and dashed to the house.
There was one final place where I thought Alexander might be. I hoped I was right.
I hopped on my bike and tore down the road in the sprinkling rain. By the time I got to Dullsville's cemetery, it was pouring. I was drenched and my boots were soaked. But I didn't care. When I turned into the parking lot, I saw the sight I'd been longing to see - the Mercedes.
The cemetery was closed, and the gates were locked. Normally, climbing the fence wasn't too hard for me; I'd done it a million times. But tonight, the pounding rain made it hard to see and the wrought-iron posts were slippery. I grabbed them as tightly as I could but slid several times. With a few curse words and all my might, I wrapped my fingers and wedged my boots into the grooves and hoisted myself up.
I flipped myself over and lost my footing on the slick fence. I fell on my bottom on the wet grass with a thud. I swore some more and then laughed at myself. If I had only been patient, I wouldn't have been in this mess. Alexander and I would have been bopping at the Crypt, and I would have received romantic kisses, not solitude. Instead, I was on my backside in the mud in the graveyard. chasing after my angry boyfriend.
I got to my feet and didn't even bother trying to beautify myself. It was far too late for that.
I raced through the cemetery - past tombstones and memorials. And then I saw a figure standing in front of the Baroness Sterling's monument.
Even in the pouring rain and with his back to me, Alexander was a magnetic presence.
I knew he sensed me standing a few yards away.
"I'm sorry - " I called to him through the falling rain. "I didn't mean for us to fight." He didn't respond or look at me.
"Alexander - " I said. "Please understand."
He slowly turned around. He was gorgeous, wearing skinny black jeans, monster boots, and a black T-shirt. He was soaking, like me, and even though he was angry, he was still as radiant as the handsome guy I'd fallen in love with. I wasn't sure if he was going to yell or walk away.
Instead, he just stared at me with his soft chocolate eyes.
I hurried over to him but didn't hug him. I wasn't sure if he was ready for me to.
"I never meant to hurt you - " I said. "I didn't want us to fight. I just wanted us to talk. It got out of hand. I never meant for us to get angry." Alexander didn't respond but just listened.
"I looked for you everywhere - " I said. "At the Mansion, Sebastian's, the Crypt. I was ready to fly to Romania," I said, my voice breaking.
He still didn't respond but continued to let me talk.
Before our fight, I knew Alexander hadn't planned on leaving me, and I was immature to think he needed to sink his fangs in my flesh to prove that to me. I faced him strongly and sincerely. "I want to be a vampire," I said. "Your vampire - and if it is to happen, it needs to happen when we both are ready. If not, I am happy the way we are."
He listened to what I said but still didn't respond.
"Please say something - " I said.
He didn't yell at me or even kiss me. Instead he took my hand in his and gazed down at me and took a deep breath. His voice was deliberate. "Raven." My heart fell. Was this the moment Alexander was officially going to break up with me? I had pushed him too far this time.
He gazed at me intently. "I've been thinking."
"About what?" I asked, worried. "Wait, Alexander, please don't say it - I came here to apologize."
"It's important for me to tell you this now," he said with a deliberate but urgent tone.
"No," I said. "I came here to make up, not break up."
He placed his finger over my black lips and shook his head. "Now it's my turn to speak." I took a deep breath and squeezed his hand. I didn't want to let go under any circumstance.
"There is something I want to talk about." His voice was so serious, I was frightened. The rain broke, and the crescent moon shone brightly overhead. "You are so much like my grandmother. If she had been changed, then maybe her fate would have been different. I don't want to see you at covenant altars with other vampires. Only me."
He leaned in to me and gazed so intensely that I thought I could see his soul. "I want you to know I thought about it that first night I saw you outside my house on Halloween. And I've thought about it every night since then."
"Thought about what?" I asked.
"Turning you."
I melted. To hear it from his lips sent chills surging through me. I shouldn't have needed him to reassure me countless times. However, I did like hearing it.
"You've told me you have thought about it, and I should have listened. But I shouldn't have pushed you. I just want us to be like we were again. I don't want us to argue. I want us to be together. Like we discussed, I'll be turned when the time is right." He took both of my hands. His rain-soaked hair was tousled and wild and his sexy dark eyes stared through me again. "I want you to know I think the time is right."
I was stunned. "What did you say?" I asked.
He leaned in even closer. "I think the time is right," he said with confidence. "For you to be turned. By me." I was floored. I wasn't sure I was hearing him correctly. "Are you serious?" I had been waiting for him to call our relationship off and he was suggesting the opposite. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Dead serious," he said with a heavenly smile. "I think th listenee time is right for us to be together - forever. In fact, I know it is." I didn't know how to respond. I was so taken aback, I was speechless.
He smiled a gorgeous smile. "You have waited for me," he said sincerely, "and I have waited for you. Now we need to stop waiting." I was awestruck. I stared up at my vampire boyfriend. Was Alexander actually suggesting what I thought he was? What I'd wanted since I was little and even more so when I met him? Was this in fact the moment I had waited for all my life?
My hands began to shake and I felt as if I were in a movie. Time seemed to stand still. A vampire - the most gorgeous and mysterious one in all the world - was asking me to be his vampire mate for all of eternity. I was still at a loss for words.
"Have you changed your mind?" he asked, suddenly concerned.
"No!" I exclaimed. "I just can't believe this is really happening. Is this a dream?" I asked.
"No!" I exclaimed. "I just can't believe this is really happening. Is this a dream?" I asked.
"If it is," he said with a sweet grin, "then I'm having the same dream."
I was overcome with delight.
"So what is your answer?" he asked. "I don't think I can wait forever for that. The suspense is killing me."
"Of course!" I burst out, and hugged him with all my might. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
As we embraced, the pain of our fight escaped my body and the excitement of his proposal began running through it.
"I don't want you to be afraid," he said. "If you want to change your mind - at any point - I will understand."
"How could I be afraid?" I wondered.
"I'm a vampire, remember. And you'd be one as well."
The thought of my really becoming a vampire sent more chills through me. "I'm not afraid of you, or of becoming like you," I said. "Not now, nor will I ever be. This is what I've always wanted."
He smiled another gorgeous smile. We stared at each other, then he drew me in to him again and kissed me long. My knees were weak, but my heart raced and I was dizzy.
"Are we going to do it now?" I asked excitedly. I didn't want to lose this moment by putting it off, but since I'd envisioned being turned by him so many times, I wasn't sure if I needed more preparation for the actual event. "I imagined wearing a pretty dress ... not looking like a slug. But I a se="3can do it now if you want."
"We don't have to do it tonight," he said, guiding my dampened hair away from my face. "We can wait as long as you like."
"I don't want to wait too long," I said eagerly.
"This will change your life," he said. "You still have school."
"School? Schmool!"
"But that is just as important."
"I don't want to wait until I'm finished with school. That's more than a year away," I said impatiently. Then something important came to mind. There was one new person I'd want to see me change and she wasn't going to be in Dullsville much longer. "I'd really like to be turned while Stormy is still here. I'd like her to see me as a vampire. I want her to see me like I see her."
"She means that much to you?" he asked.
"You both do."
"But she's leaving next week."
"I know."
"But you still have classes, and your education is important."
"I can go to night classes. Or take online courses. Or even Jameson can teach me. I'll be homeschooled like you," I suggested. Now that Alexander was on board, I wasn't going to let anything get in our way.
"I thought - but what about your parents? Do you think they are going to be happy about this?"
"They won't understand at first. And they'll be angry. But I'll still be their daughter. I'll still live in Dullsville and graduate high school and go to college. And they were hippies. If anyone understands being different, it's them. I'll just have to remind them."
"We will have challenges," he said.
"I know. But if we are together, then we can take them on, together."
"I've never met anyone like you." He drew me in again and kissed me passionately.
Then we sat on a bench in the cemetery and made up for the time we'd lost being apart with kisses and making plans for our future. I was like a girl who had just got engaged. I was completely overwhelmed by the moment and the promise of my life with my one true love. I held and squeezed Alexander harder than I ever had before and became magically lost in his lips as I cherished that I was soon to become his vampire mate.
