I take this in and deliberate slightly. "Because ... you have to drive?"
"No," he says. "I've been sober for about a year."
"That's a little drastic."
Julian glances at his phone, then back at me.
"And how's that going?" I ask.
"It's hard." He shrugs.
"You more cheerful now?"
"Clay ... "
"Can we smoke out here?"
The waiter brings the drink.
"How was the premiere?" Julian asks.
"Not a soul in sight." I sigh, studying the tumbler of vodka.
"So you're back from New York for how long?"
"I don't know yet."
He tries again. "How's The Listeners coming?" he asks with a sudden interest, trying to move me into the same world.
I gaze at him, then answer cautiously. "It's coming along. We're casting." I wait as long as I can, then I knock back the drink and light a cigarette. "For some reason the producer and director think my input's important. Valuable. They're artists." I take a drag off the cigarette. "It's basically a joke."
"I think it's cool," Julian says. "It's all about control, right?" He considers something. "It's not a joke. You should take it seriously. I mean, you're also one of the producers - "
I cut him off. "Why have you been tracking this?"
"It's a big deal and - "
"Julian, it's a movie," I say. "Why have you been tracking this? It's just another movie."
"Maybe for you."
"What does that mean?"
"Maybe for others it's something else," Julian says. "Something more meaningful."
"I get where you're coming from, but there's a vampire in it."
Inside, the piano player's doing jazzy riffs on Christmas carols. I concentrate on that. I'm already locked out of everything. It's that time of night when I've entered the dead zone and I'm not coming out.
"What happened to that girl you were seeing?" he asks.
"Laurie? In New York?"
"No, out here. Last summer." He pauses. "The actress."
I try to pause but fail. "Meghan," I say casually.
"Right." He draws the word out.
"I really have no idea." I lift the glass, rattle the ice around.
Julian innocently glances at me, his eyes widening slightly. This makes it clear he has information he wants to give me. I realize that I sat here, in this very same booth, one afternoon with Blair, in a different era, something I wouldn't have remembered if I hadn't seen her tonight.
"Are we lost again, Julian?" I sigh. "Are we gonna play out another scene?"
"Hey, you've been gone a long time and - "
"How do you even know about that?" I ask suddenly. "You and I weren't hanging then."
"What do you mean?" he asks. "I saw you last summer."
Chapter 2
"How do you know about Meghan Reynolds?"
"Someone told me you were helping her out ... giving her a break - "
"We were f**king, Julian."
"She said that you - "
"I don't care what she said." I stand up. "Everyone lies."
"Hey," he says softly. "It's just a code."
"No. Everyone lies." I stub the cigarette out.
"It's just another language you have to learn." Then he delicately adds, "I think you need some coffee, dude." Pause. "Why are you so angry?"
"I'm out of here, Julian." I start walking away. "As usual, a total mistake."
A blue Jeep follows me from the Beverly Hills Hotel to where the cab drops me off in front of the Doheny Plaza.
Something has changed since I was here seven hours ago. I call the doorman while staring at the desk in my office. The computer is on. It wasn't when I left. I'm staring at the stack of paper next to the computer. When the doorman answers I'm staring at a small knife used to open envelopes that was placed on the stack of paper. It was in a drawer when I headed out to the premiere. I hang the phone up without saying anything. Moving around the condo I ask, "Is anyone here?" I lean over the duvet in the bedroom. I run my hand across it. It smells different. I check the door for the third time. It's locked. I stare at the Christmas tree longer than I should and then I take the elevator down to the lobby.
