Rattus Rattus
How did you get back so fast?" Jenna asked Boy 412. It had taken Nicko and Jenna all afternoon to find their way back through the haar to the cottage. While Nicko had spent the time they were lost deciding which were his top-ten best boats and then, as he became hungrier, imagining what his all-time favorite supper would be, Jenna had spent most of the time worrying about what had happened to Boy 412 and deciding she was going to be much nicer to him from now on. That was if he hadn't already fallen into the Mott and drowned.
So when Jenna at last got back to the cottage cold and wet, with the haar still clinging to her clothes, and found Boy 412 sitting perkily on the sofa next to Aunt Zelda, looking almost pleased with himself, she did not feel quite as irritated as Nicko did. Nicko just grunted and went off to soak himself in the hot spring. Jenna let Aunt Zelda rub her hair dry for her, and then she sat down next to Boy 412 and asked him her question, "How did you get back so fast?"
Boy 412 looked at her sheepishly but said nothing. Jenna tried again.
"I was scared you had fallen in the Mott."
Boy 412 looked a little surprised at this. He didn't expect the Princess-girl to care whether he had fallen into the Mott, or even down a hole for that matter.
"I'm glad you got back safely," Jenna persisted. "It took me and Nicko ages. We kept getting lost."
Boy 412 smiled. He almost wanted to tell Jenna about what had happened to him and show her his ring, but years of having to keep things to himself had taught him to be careful. The only person he had ever shared secrets with had been Boy 409, and although there was something nice about Jenna that did remind him of Boy 409, she was a Princess, and even worse, a girl. So he said nothing.
Jenna noticed the smile and felt pleased. She was about to try another question when, in a voice that made the potion bottles rattle, Aunt Zelda yelled, "Message Rat!"
Marcia, who had taken over Aunt Zelda's desk at the far end of the room, got up quickly and, to Jenna's surprise, grabbed her by the hand and hauled her off the sofa.
"Hey!" protested Jenna. Marcia took no notice. She headed up the stairs, pulling Jenna along behind her. Halfway up they collided with Silas and Maxie, who were rushing down to see the Message Rat.
"That dog should not be allowed upstairs," snapped Marcia as she tried to squeeze past Maxie without getting any dog-dribble trails on her cloak.
Maxie slobbered excitedly on Marcia's hand and rushed down after Silas, one of his large paws treading heavily on Marcia's foot. Maxie paid very little attention to Marcia. He didn't bother to get out of her way or take any notice of what she said because, in his wolfhound way of looking at the world, Silas was Top Dog and Marcia was right at the bottom of the pile.
Happily for Marcia, these finer points of Maxie's inner life had passed her by, and she pushed past the wolfhound and strode upstairs, trailing Jenna in her wake, out of the way of the Message Rat.
"Wha-what did you do that for?" asked Jenna, getting her breath back as they reached the attic room.
"The Message Rat," said Marcia, a little puffed. "We don't know what kind of rat it is. It might not be a Chartered Confidential Rat."
"A what rat?" asked Jenna, puzzled.
"Well," whispered Marcia, sitting down on Aunt Zelda's narrow bed, which was covered with an assortment of patchwork blankets that were the result of many long, solitary evenings by the fireside. She patted the space beside her, and Jenna sat down too.
"Do you know about Message Rats?" asked Marcia in a low voice.
"I think so," said Jenna uncertainly, "but we never got one at home. Ever. I thought you had to be really important to get a Message Rat."
"No," said Marcia, "anyone can get one. Or send one."
"Maybe Mum sent it," said Jenna in a hopeful voice.
"Maybe," said Marcia, "and maybe not. We need to know if it is a Confidential Rat before we can trust it. A Confidential Rat will always tell the truth and keep all secrets at all times. It is also extremely expensive."
Jenna thought gloomily that in that case Sarah could never have sent the rat.
"So we'll just have to wait and see," said Marcia. "And meanwhile you and I will wait up here just in case it's a spy rat come to see where the ExtraOrdinary Wizard is hiding with the Princess."
Jenna nodded slowly. It was that word again. Princess. It still took her by surprise. She couldn't quite believe that that was who she really was. But she sat quietly next to Marcia, gazing around the attic room.
The room felt surprisingly large and airy. It had a sloping ceiling in which was set a small window that looked out far across the snow-covered marshes. Huge sturdy beams supported the roof. Below the beams hung an assortment of what looked like large patchwork tents, until Jenna realized that they must be Aunt Zelda's dresses. There were three beds in the room. Jenna guessed from the patchwork covers that they were sitting on Aunt Zelda's bed, and the one tucked away low in an alcove by the stairs and covered in dog hair was likely to belong to Silas. In the far corner was a large bed built into the wall. It reminded Jenna of her own box bed at home and gave her a sharp pang of homesickness when she looked at it. She guessed that it was Marcia's, for beside the bed was her book, The Undoing of the Darkenesse, a fine onyx pen and a pile of the best quality vellum covered in Magykal signs and symbols.
Marcia followed her gaze.
"Come on, you can try out my pen. You'll like that. It writes in any color you ask it to - if it's in a good mood."
While Jenna was upstairs trying out Marcia's pen, which was being somewhat contrary by insisting on writing every other letter in lurid green, Silas was downstairs trying to restrain an excitable Maxie, who had caught sight of the Message Rat.
"Nicko," said Silas distractedly, having spotted his damp-looking son just coming in from the hot spring. "Hang on to Maxie and keep him away from the rat, would you?" Nicko and Maxie bounded onto the sofa, and with equal speed, Boy 412 shot off.
"Now, where's that rat?" asked Silas.
A large brown rat was sitting outside the window, tapping on the glass. Aunt Zelda opened the window, and the rat hopped in and looked around the room with his quick, bright eyes.
"Squeeke, Rat!" said Silas in Magyk.
The rat looked at him impatiently.
"Speeke, Rat!"
The rat crossed his arms and waited. He gave Silas a withering look.
"Um ... sorry. It's been ages since I've had a Message Rat," Silas excused himself. "Oh, that's it ... Speeke, Rattus Rattus."
"Right-ho," sighed the rat. "Got there in the end." He drew himself up and said, "First I have to ask. Is there anyone here answering to the name of Silas Heap?" The rat stared straight at Silas.
"Yes, me," said Silas.
"Thought so," said the rat. "Fits the description." He gave a small, important-sounding cough, stood up straight and clasped his front paws behind his back. "I am come here to deliver a message to Silas Heap. The message is sent today at eight o'clock this morning from one Sarah Heap residing in the house of Galen.
"Message begins:
Hello, Silas love. And Jenna piglet and Nicko angel.
I have sent the rat to Zelda's in the hope that he finds you safe and well. Sally told us that the Hunter was after you, and I couldn't sleep all night for thinking about it. That man has such a terrible reputation. I was at my wits' end by the morning and was convinced you had all been caught (although Galen told me she knew you were safe), but dear Alther came to see us as soon as it was light and told us the wonderful news that you had escaped. He said he last saw you setting off into the Marram Marshes. He wished he could have come with you.
Silas, something has happened. Simon disappeared on our way here. We were on the riverside path that leads into Galen's part of the Forest when I realized that he had gone. I just don't know what can have happened to him. We didn't see any Guards, and no one saw or heard him go. Silas, I am so afraid he has fallen into one of those traps that those awful witches set. We are going out to search for him today.
The Guards set fire to Sally's cafe and she only just managed to escape. She is not sure how she did it, but she arrived here safely this morning and asked me to tell Marcia that she is very grateful for the KeepSafe she gave her. In fact, we all are. It was very generous of Marcia.
Silas, please send the rat back and let me know how you are.
All our love and thoughts go to you all.
Your loving Sarah
"Message ends."
Exhausted, the rat slumped down on the windowsill. "I could murder a cup of tea," he said.
Silas was very agitated.
"I shall have to go back," he said, "and look for Simon. Who knows what might have happened?"
Aunt Zelda tried to calm him down. She brought out two mugs of hot sweet tea and gave one to the rat and one to Silas. The rat downed his mug in one go while Silas sat gloomily nursing his.
"Simon's really tough, Dad," said Nicko. "He'll be all right. I expect he just got lost. He'll be back with Mum by now."
Silas was not convinced.
Aunt Zelda decided the only sensible thing to do was to have supper. Aunt Zelda's suppers usually took people's minds off their problems. She was a hospitable cook who liked to have as many people around her table as she could, and although her guests always enjoyed the conversation, the food could be more of a challenge. The most frequent description was "interesting," as in, "That bread and cabbage bake was very ... interesting, Zelda. I never would have thought of that myself," or, "Well, I must say that strawberry jam is such an ... interesting sauce for sliced eel."
Silas was put to work laying the table to take his mind off things, and the Message Rat was invited to supper.
Aunt Zelda served frog and rabbit casserole with twice-boiled turnip heads followed by cherry and parsnip delight. Boy 412 tucked into it with great enthusiasm, as it was a wonderful improvement on the Young Army food, and he even had second and third helpings, much to Aunt Zelda's delight. No one had ever asked her for second helpings before, let alone third.
Nicko was pleased that Boy 412 was eating so much, as it meant that Aunt Zelda did not notice the frog lumps that he had lined up and hidden under his knife. Or if she did, it didn't bother her too much. Nicko also managed to feed the complete rabbit ear that he had found on his plate to Maxie, much to his relief and Maxie's delight.
Marcia had called down, excusing herself and Jenna from supper on account of the presence of the Message Rat. Silas thought it was a feeble excuse and suspected her of secretly doing a few gourmet food spells on the side.
Despite - or maybe because of - Marcia's absence, supper was an enjoyable affair. The Message Rat was good company. Silas had not bothered to undo the Speeke, Rattus Rattus command, and so the talkative rat held forth on any topic that caught his imagination, which ranged from the problem with young rats today to the rat sausage scandal in the Guards' canteen that had upset the entire rat community, not to mention the Guards.
As the meal drew to a close, Aunt Zelda asked Silas if he was going to send the Message Rat back to Sarah that night.
The rat looked apprehensive. Although he was a big rat and could, as he was fond of telling everyone, "take care of myself," Marram Marshes at night was not his favorite place. The suckers on a large Water Nixie could spell the end for a rat, and neither Brownies nor Boggarts were the rat's first choice of companions. The Brownies would drag a rat down into the Ooze just for fun, and a hungry Boggart would happily boil up a rat stew for its baby Boggarts, who were, in the Message Rat's opinion, voracious little pests.
(The Boggart of course had not joined them for supper. He never did. He preferred to eat the boiled cabbage sandwiches that Aunt Zelda made for him in the comfort of his own mud patch. He himself had not eaten rat for a long time. He didn't like the taste much, and the little bones got stuck between his teeth.)
"I was thinking," said Silas slowly, "that it might be better to send the rat back in the morning. He's come a long way, and he ought to get some sleep."
The rat look pleased. "Quite right, sir. Very wise," he said. "Many a message is lost for want of a good rest. And a good supper. And may I say that was an exceptionally ... interesting supper, Madam." He bowed his head in Aunt Zelda's direction.
"My pleasure." Aunt Zelda smiled.
"Is that rat a Confidential Rat?" asked the pepper pot in Marcia's voice. Everyone jumped.
"You might give us a bit of warning if you're going to start throwing your voice around," complained Silas. "I nearly inhaled my parsnip delight."
"Well, is it?" the pepper pot persisted.
"Are you?" Silas asked the rat, who was staring at the pepper pot and for once seemed lost for words. "Are you a Confidential Rat or not?"
"Yes," said the rat, unsure whether to answer Silas or the pepper pot. He went for the pepper pot. "I am indeed, Miss Pot. I am a Chartered Confidential Long-Distance Rat. At your service."
"Good. I'm coming down."
Marcia came down the stairs two at a time and strode across the room, book in hand, her silk robes sweeping over the floor and sending a pile of potion jars flying. Jenna followed her quickly, eager to at last see a Message Rat for herself.
"It's so small in here," complained Marcia, irritably brushing Aunt Zelda's best multicolored Brilliant Blends off her cloak. "I really don't know how you manage, Zelda."
"I seemed to manage quite well before you arrived," Aunt Zelda muttered under her breath as Marcia sat down at the table beside the Message Rat. The rat went pale underneath his brown fur. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected to meet the ExtraOrdinary Wizard. He bowed low, far too low, and overbalanced into the remains of the cherry and parsnip delight.
"I want you to go back with the rat, Silas," announced Marcia.
"What?" said Silas. "Now?"
"I am not certified for passengers, Your Honor," the rat addressed Marcia hesitantly. "In fact, Your Most Graciousness, and I do say this with the greatest of respect - "
"UnSpeeke, Rattus Rattus," snapped Marcia.
The Message Rat opened and closed his mouth silently for a few more words until he realized that nothing was coming out. Then he sat down, reluctantly licking the cherry and parsnip delight off his paws, and waited. The rat had no choice but to wait, for a Message Rat may leave only with a reply or a refusal to reply. And so far the Message Rat had been given neither, so, like the true professional he was, he sat patiently and gloomily remembered his wife's words to him that morning when he had told her he was doing a job for a Wizard.
"Stanley," his wife, Dawnie, had said, wagging her finger at him, "if I was you, I wouldn't have nothing to do with them Wizards. Remember Elli's husband, who ended up bewitched by that small fat Wizard up at the Tower and got trapped in the hot pot? He didn't come back for two weeks and then he was in a terrible state. Don't go, Stanley. Please."
But Stanley had been secretly flattered that the Rat Office had asked him to go on an outside job, particularly for a Wizard, and was glad for a change from his previous job. He had spent the last week taking messages between two sisters who were having an argument. The messages had become increasingly short and distinctly ruder until his previous day's work had consisted of running from one sister to another and actually saying nothing at all, because each wished to tell the other that she was no longer speaking to her. He had been extremely relieved when their mother, horrified by the huge bill she had suddenly received from the Rat Office, had canceled the job.
And so Stanley had quite happily told his wife that, if he was needed, he must go. "I am after all," he told her, "one of the few Confidential Long-Distance Rats in the Castle."
"And one of the silliest," his wife had retorted.
And so Stanley sat on the table among the remains of the oddest supper he had ever eaten and listened to the surprisingly grumpy ExtraOrdinary Wizard telling the Ordinary Wizard what to do. Marcia thumped her book down on the table, rattling the plates.
"I have been going through Zelda's The Undoing of the Darkenesse. I only wish I had had a copy back at WizardTower. It's invaluable." Marcia tapped the book approvingly. The book misunderstood her. It suddenly left the table and flew back to its place in Aunt Zelda's book pile, much to Marcia's irritation.
"Silas," said Marcia, "I want you to go and get my KeepSafe back from Sally. We need it here."
"All right," said Silas.
"You must go, Silas," said Marcia. "Our safety may depend upon it. Without it I have less power than I thought."
"Yes, yes. All right, Marcia," said Silas impatiently, preoccupied with his thoughts about Simon.
"In fact, as ExtraOrdinary Wizard, I am ordering you to go," Marcia persisted.
"Yes! Marcia, I said yes. I'm going. I was going anyway," said Silas, exasperated. "Simon has disappeared. I am going to look for him."
"Good," said Marcia, paying little attention, as ever, to what Silas was saying. "Now, where's that rat?"
The rat, still unable to speak, raised his paw.
"Your message is this Wizard, returned to sender. Do you understand?"
Stanley nodded uncertainly. He wanted to tell the ExtraOrdinary Wizard that this was against Rat Office regulations. They did not deal in packages, human or otherwise. He sighed. How right his wife had been.
"You will convey this Wizard safely and properly by appropriate means to the return address. Understood?"
Stanley nodded unhappily. Appropriate means? He supposed that meant that Silas wasn't going to be able to swim the river. Or hitch a lift in the baggage of a passing peddler. Great.
Silas came to the rat's rescue. "I do not need to be booked in like a parcel, thank you, Marcia," he said. "I will take a canoe, and the rat can come with me and show me the way."
"Very well," said Marcia, "but I want confirmation of order. Speeke, Rattus Rattus."
"Yes," said the rat weakly. "Order confirmed."
Silas and the Message Rat left early the next morning, just after sunrise, taking the Muriel One canoe. The haar had disappeared overnight, and the winter sun cast long shadows over the marshes in the gray early morning light.
Jenna, Nicko and Maxie had got up early to wave Silas off and give him messages for Sarah and the boys. The air was cold and frosty, and their breath hung in white clouds. Silas wrapped his heavy blue woolen cloak around him and pulled up his hood, while the Message Rat stood beside him shivering a little, and not entirely with the cold. The rat could hear horrible choking noises from Maxie close behind him as Nicko kept a tight grip on the wolf' hound's neckerchief, and, as if that wasn't enough, he had just caught sight of the Boggart.
"Ah, Boggart." Aunt Zelda smiled. "Thank you very much, Boggart dear, for staying up. Here's some sandwiches to keep you going. I'll put them in the canoe. There's some for you and the rat too, Silas."
"Oh. Well, thank you, Zelda. What kind of sandwiches would they be, exactly?"
"Best boiled cabbage."
"Ah. Well, that's most ... thoughtful." Silas was glad he had smuggled some bread and cheese in his sleeve.
The Boggart was floating grumpily in the Mott and was not completely placated by the mention of cabbage sandwiches. He did not like being out in the daylight, even in the middle of winter. It made his weak Boggart eyes ache, and the sunlight burned his ears if he was not careful.
The Message Rat sat unhappily on the bank of the Mott, caught between dog breath behind him and Boggart Breath in front of him.
"Right," said Silas to the rat. "In you get. I expect you'll want to sit at the front. Maxie always does."
"I am not a dog," sniffed Stanley, "and I don't travel with Boggarts."
"This Boggart is a safe Boggart,"Aunt Zelda told him.
"There's no such thing as a safe Boggart," muttered Stanley. Catching a glimpse of Marcia coming out of the cottage to wave Silas off, he said no more, but jumped smartly into the canoe and hid under the seat.
"Be careful, Dad," Jenna told Silas, hugging him tightly.
Nicko hugged Silas too. "Find Simon, Dad. And don't forget to stay by the edge of the river if the tide's against you. The tide always flows faster in the middle."
"I won't forget." Silas smiled. "Look after each other, both of you. And Maxie."
"Bye, Dad!"
Maxie whined and yelped as he saw, to his dismay, that Silas really was leaving him.
"Bye!" Silas waved as he unsteadily steered the canoe along the Mott to the familiar Boggart inquiry: "You followin'?"
Jenna and Nicko watched the canoe make its way slowly along the winding ditches and out into the wide expanse of the Marram Marshes until they could no longer make out Silas's blue hood.
"I hope Dad'll be all right," said Jenna quietly. "He's not very good at finding places."
"The Message Rat will make sure he gets there," said Nicko. "He knows he'll have some explaining to do to Marcia if he doesn't."
Deep in the Marram Marshes the Message Rat sat in the canoe surveying the first package he had ever had to deliver. He had decided not to mention it to Dawnie, or to the rats at the Rat Office; it was all, he sighed to himself, highly irregular.
But after a while, as Silas took them slowly and somewhat erratically through the twisting channels of the marsh, Stanley began to see that this was not such a bad way to travel. He did after all have a ride all the way to his destination. And all he had to do was sit there, tell a few stories and enjoy the ride while Silas did all the work.
And that, as Silas said good-bye to the Boggart at the end of Deppen Ditch and started paddling up the river on his way to the Forest, is exactly what the Message Rat did.
