Ewen ’s tone softened as he continued, “But you know as well as I, Robbie, that I need you here. The clan needs you here. Aye, you tell it true, I do think of your mind before I think of your sword arm. But it ’s your mind that I need now. A thoughtful mind about the keep. We’ve no way to know what—or who—could happen to the heart of Cameron lands with so many clansmen away. ”
Robert’s angry expression began to slacken and he flopped down into a chair at Ewen’s bedside. The laird added, “At any rate, ’twill be hard enough to leave Lil’ without your histrionics. ”
Their eyes met and they shared a subdued laugh, the tension in the room palpably relieved. “Yes, Ewen, I know, I know. I see the right of it. But it does not mean I wouldn ’t relish riding to Achdalieu by your side, brother. ”
Ewen leaned forward to clap Robert on the back, then fastening a firm grip on his shoulder, he added gravely, “Protect her, Robert. ”
“I will at that, Lochiel, with all that I have at my disposal. Should any misadventure come our way, you can consider me a man prepared: In omnia paratus!” Ewen looked skeptical and Robert shot him a reassuring smile. “Dear Ewen. Don ’t you know? I would proffer my life, if it came to that. ”
There was one more person the laird had to see before leaving. His son John might be the youngest member of the household, but it made the visit no less daunting. Ewen had never known his own father well and that was a loss he felt keenly. The lad might only be ten, but in fewer summers than Ewen cared to count, John would be a man and ready to bear arms in a field like Achdalieu. The laird vowed to be a better father to the boy, and if he didn ’t return from the upcoming battle, he wanted his son to have some meaningful memory of him.
It took some tracking to finally hunt him down. It seemed to be common knowledge to everyone but the laird that the kitchen gardens had become John’s favorite haunt, and he had to smile at that. Ewen knew that Lily treasured the garden as her own special refuge and it warmed him that John felt the same. He wouldn ’t have figured the boy for such contemplative pursuits and he hoped it was a sign of the favorable effect Lily was having on the boy’s life. Ewen smiled mischievously. He certainly knew he found Lily’s effect to be favorable.
“There you are, lad. I was beginning to think you ’d gone and hid yourself in Donald’s saddlebags.”
John looked up at his father with some trepidation. Many times these brief exchanges were less paternal than disciplinary.
“Och, lad, be at ease.” Ewen studied the collection of leaves and flowers John had compiled. “Are you to make another of your wee pictures?”
John swept his hand out, quickly tousling the neat piles of greenery.
“Nay, lad, don’t doubt yourself. You ’re not to be ashamed of those pictures . You’ve a good eye. Lily’s been showing me your best works. ”
“She … she has?”
“Aye, lad, she has, and you ’ve the makings of a fine artist.
Your collages are very striking. I like them. ”
“You …you do? ”
“John, lad”—Ewen sighed and sat next to his son—“truly, be at your ease. I know we ’ve not been the thickest of mates, but I’m vowed to change that. You’re my only son, and I love you more than my life, lad. I don’t always show it and for that you’ve my apologies. ” Ewen cuffed the boy playfully then grabbed him into a rough hug. “But you’re to be laird after me. Someone needs to make a man of you, aye?”
John laughed and returned his father ’s hug, furtively wiping the tears from his eyes on Ewen ’s shirt.
“I’m away, and I’d give you a small token before I leave. You’ll be a man soon and ’tis best you start acting like one.
I ’ve left Robert in charge, but no mistake, you ’re his close second, aye? I ’ll have you keep an eye on Lil ’ and the goings on at the keep. ”
“Aye, sir,” John replied gravely.
“That’s not the whole of it. My father …well, you ken my pin. ” Ewen pulled his brooch out of his sporran and studied the Celtic hounds crafted in silver. “My da gave it to me before his last battle. ” John gasped.
“Och, this will not my last battle, lad, so you can clear those storm clouds from over your head. ” Ewen placed the brooch in his son’s hand.
“But I ’d have you take this for your own, just the same. You’ve a notion of it ’s meaning?”
“Aye, sir. A Cameron clansman will be on no man ’s leash.
We’re sons of the hound ”.
“You speak truly, lad. ” Ewen beamed. “There ’s something else, though, which you may not yet know. We Cameron men, we ’ve a war cry, aye? My hope is you ’ve a few more summers yet to pass before you hear this for yourself. But a Cameron man into battle has but one thing in his heart and on his lips. ”
Ewen rose and, placing his hand on his son ’s head, told him, “ Chlanna nan con thigibh a so ’s gheibh sibh feoil ”.
“Sons of the hound”—the boy nodded solemnly—“come and get flesh. ”
Ewen smiled. “Remember those words well, lad. ” Ewen turned abruptly to leave, then paused, facing his son from the garden entrance. “You ’re a Cameron man. You’ll grow to be a braw warrior and fine laird some day. ”
He studied his son, holding his gaze with the tenderness in his voice. “It doesn ’t mean you cannot also make fine pictures or write fine words. Don’t be ashamed of the things you create, and you’ll be more the man for it. And lad, you ’re also never to be ashamed to find tears in your eyes. A real man never is. ’Tis a stout heart that’s made braver when touched by grief. ”
Chapter 26
Lily paused to arch backward over her heels, her fists massaging the small of her back. She had been aggressively weeding the small kitchen garden all afternoon, and her body was starting to rebel. Not to mention the fact she had a sneaking suspicion she had moved on from the weeds and was attacking some of the more legitimate herbs in the garden.
She reached out and distractedly patted Finn on the head. His tail thumped the ground and he rolled over to offer his belly for the same treatment. The poor mutt had been so faithful in the past days, and as if sensing her gloomy mood, he hadn’t left her side since Ewen ’s departure.
The laird had left the day before and Lily had found herself hopelessly useless. She couldn’t focus on John’s lessons, was too distracted to draw, had no appetite to speak of, and certainly couldn’t sleep. She decided to try working in the garden, that secret haven where she had found so much solace since her arrival at the castle. Lily had thought that the physical exertion and mindless rhythm of hoeing dirt and pulling weeds would clear her head of the horrible scenarios that played themselves over and over in her mind’s eye.
Ewen getting ambushed. Ewen in a sword battle. Ewen getting shot. Ewen facing down a bayonet.
Lily was finding that she could be remarkably imaginative when it came to morbid scenarios involving Ewen and the wrong side of danger.
But sweat, dirt, and aching muscles did nothing to easeher. No matter what task she set herself to, Lily was unable to get his face out of her mind. The face that only she got to see, the tender side of him with a ready smile and eyes full of love.
“Lily!” John’s shout tore her out of her daze.
She quickly turned her back to the boy to surreptitiously blot tears that she hadn’t realized had fallen.
“I’m very sorry, Lil’ ”.
She was surprised that John’s use of Ewen ’s nickname for her cheered Lily rather than sinking her deeper into her melancholy.
“I can come back if it ’s a bother to you. ”
She opened her arms to him and mustered a smile. “No, no, sweetie, not at all. What’s the matter?”
“Well …” John’s voice drifted and the usually garrulous boy for once seemed at a loss for words.
“Do you miss your father?”
“No. I mean, aye, I do miss him, but that’s not why I came to you.” He screwed up his courage and continued, “I saw something. I didn ’t mean to see it. I mean, I wasn ’t spying. Well, maybe I was doing a wee bit of spying, but I saw something that I wasn’t supposed to see, but I think I … I think you need to hear it. And Robert too. I think we need to tell Robert. Da says he ’s in charge. But you were the first one who I found. I mean, I didn ’t have to tell Robert first, I just…”
“No, no, I understand. ” John didn ’t usually concern himself with the comings and goings of the castle or with anything outside of his immediate circle. For him to be so alarmed over something he saw had Lily more than a little worried.
“Now don’t worry—we’ll discuss the spying thing later. First just tell me what ’s got you so spooked. ”
“I thought I’d bide a wee in the hall.” A pointed look from Lily inspired the boy to elaborate. “ Och … I set myself up in the hall outside Rowena’s door. I heard tell from my da that all the keep folk are to be keeping watch for her. Well, there ’s a dusty old hanging on the wall nigh to her door where you can stand and not be seen. ”
Lily glared at that bit of information and John quickly hedged, “I only know because, well, it ’s only that I heard … I heard …’twas another lad, aye, what said her maid sometimes opens the door wide with Rowena strutting about in just her petticoats plain as the nose on your face, for all to see.”
“Mmhmm. Plain for all who are hiding in the dark hallway to see. We ’ll definitely be discussing that bit later. Now tell me what it is you saw exactly. Surely Rowena wouldn ’t do us the favor of just showing up in her room. ”
“Aye, well, I was in my spot when the door opened. I peeked out thinking to see Rowena, and I saw a man instead ”.
