She pulls her legs off the chair and sinks as far as she can back into her own seat. “Welcome to the game.”
I sit down and lean forward, inching my way closer to her to take the drink Nix hands me. I take a sip before setting it down on the table and notice she’s still watching me. I divert my eyes only when Leif asks, “No wine, man? It’s the good stuff. I picked it up at a local vineyard yesterday.”
Raising my glass, I say, “I’m good.”
He feigns offense.
I try not to stare as Ivy raises her glass for a sip, but when my eyes catch her mouth, I can’t keep from watching. She licks her lips and says, “I really like it.” I know she’s answering Leif, but I feel like she’s talking to me, and I can’t help but smile—my mind wandering to thoughts of what I know she likes.
Slamming his hand in front of me, Garrett slips in, “I’ll take your money any day of the week.”
I look over toward him as he gulps the rest of the liquid in his glass. “I doubt you’ll be taking my money because if memory serves me correctly, I’m the one who taught your scrawny thirteen-year-old ass how to play this game.”
“Yeah, but we didn’t use money back then, just beer bottle caps, and I was usually the one who drank most of the beer.”
“You were so funny when you drank. You just couldn’t handle your alcohol,” Ivy blurts out. It’s the first time any of us has talked about being together when we were younger, and I notice that her gaze flitters from Garrett’s face to mine before she looks down at the table. When she reaches out to push some chips forward, her hand grazes mine. The skin on my arm prickles and the electricity between us sparks immediately. She quickly moves her hand away and crosses her arms over her chest, but I already noticed her ni**les harden from our encounter. I want more than anything to sit in that chair with her on my lap. To slip my arm around her waist and pull her close to me like I always did when we played poker with River and his friends.
“Cold?” I ask, wishing I could drape my body over hers and warm her up.
Flushing, she rubs her arms. “Yes, I am. I’ll be right back. I’m going to get a sweater.” At least I didn’t get the finger.
She stands up and I watch her step across the room and then disappear through the doorway. A few minutes later she’s back with a sweater wrapped around her and when she sits down, I can smell her sweet scent in the air.
Nix shuffles the cards around Phoebe like he’s a dealer in Vegas.
“You smell good,” I mumble in her direction.
Her cheeks turn pink again and I just smirk at her. I know she sprayed some kind of perfume on when she grabbed her sweater.
Nix continues to shuffle the cards and his eyes dart to Garrett. “You in or out?”
“In,” he says with a scowl, and adds, “But if I lose this one, I’m done, busted, broke, annihilated. Do I need to go on?”
“Whatever, dude, just stop whining and ante up. You’re holding up the game.”
Garrett throws his picks in the middle of the table, and Nix sets the deck down next to Ivy. She cuts it and finally he deals. She gets the first card, since she is to Nix’s immediate left. I get mine next. I stare at the two cards beside each other on the table and try to block memories of playing this game alone with her years ago in my grandparents’ pool house. We didn’t play for money, though—we played for clothes. I’m sure she remembers. Once the cards are dealt, she leans a little my way and I can smell that fresh, soapy scent even more. I get lost in it and those memories come flooding back.
“Xander, snap out of it. What are you doing?” Nix calls me out.
I blink, realizing I haven’t even looked at the cards in my hand. “I’ll raise,” I say, tossing four picks in the middle.
Everyone starts laughing except Ivy. She leans toward me and whispers in my ear. “I checked.”
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath.
Her body stiffens and she sits back in her chair.
I turn my attention to the guys. “So I’m tired. Give me a f**king break. I meant to say I’d open. Either way, see it or fold, ass**les.”
Needless to say, the first hand ends with me losing. As the game continues, Garrett’s luck seems to have changed. He’s raking it in. About two hours later, the room’s a little fuzzy and if Ivy moves any closer to me I think I’m going to lose it in my pants right here. Shit, I have to get my dick under control.
“Last hand of the night,” Nix calls and deals the cards.
Nix makes his way around the table, but Leif tosses his hand down. “I fold.”
Garrett lights the tip of his cigar again and inhales before showing us his cards. “Call it a straight, baby, all the way,” he boasts.
Ivy smiles and lays her cards flat but upside down. “I fold too.”
“I’m out of this f**king game,” Nix calls out, running his fingers down Phoebe’s bare arms.
I look at the cards in my hand. Rubbing my nails on my chest, then blowing on my cards, I grin. “Four of a kind. Pay up, buddy.” I slowly fan my cards out. Garrett’s face falls like the cigar he’s stubbing out.
“What the f**k, Ivy?” he blurts out.
Everyone looks her way and back at Garrett, who has his hands up in surrender, grinning ear to ear. Nix gestures Phoebe off his lap and Garrett’s up and running. Leif and Nix fly after him.
Ivy quickly pushes the scattered cards on the table into a pile. Her cheeks are bright red. She’s so busted. Here I’m thinking she wants to be close to me. That she doesn’t even know she’s driving me nuts when in actuality she’s signaling my cards to Garrett. I glare down toward the floor and spot a number of cards under the table. Looking back up at her, I say, “Ivy?”
She glances up at the sound of her name but quickly averts her gaze. Bending under the table, I pick up the cards and slide them to her with a smirk on my face. Her fierce eyes catch mine and they are cautious, focused, nervous even, as her stare tries to break mine. I notice that the color in her eyes is more liquid blue than gray today. Beautiful. It’s inviting me, calling my name, so I don’t look away. Instead I keep her pegged and stand up to hover over her. Her breathing picks up speed the closer I lean in, and I’m well aware of the attraction between us.
With no one around to pay any attention to us, I corner her and cage her with my arms. She’s waiting for me to look into her face, but I cut my eyes away. Our faces are close and our bodies are like magnets, drawn to each other. I finally fix my attention on her. A piece of hair has fallen in her eyes and I push it aside. Tucking it behind her ear, I whisper, “Ivy.”
She murmurs something I can’t understand, then closes her eyes. I swallow, my mouth dry. I want to ask her what she said. I want to tell her to open her eyes and look at me. I consider kissing her—I’m pretty sure she’d let me, but I don’t. Instead I get close enough that her breath passes over my skin like a caress. I let my pants rub against her stomach and a small sigh escapes her throat. When I’m as close as I can be without actually lying on top of her, I whisper in her ear, “Who would have thought?”
I’m not sure why I chose to call her out, but when she pushes me away and runs out of the room, I really wished I had kissed her.
• • •
The next afternoon, the bus is hauling ass to Jersey and I’m spending a rare moment alone in the galley. I’m in my cubby playing around with a song on my guitar when I feel her stare on me. When I glance up, she looks younger again. She has no makeup on, she’s wearing a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, and her hair is pulled back. She’s gorgeous.
“I thought I heard you. What are you playing?” she asks.
“Actually I’m working on something for you.”
She laughs. “Oh yeah. Since when do you write songs?”
I chuckle. “I don’t, but I have this idea that I’ve been wanting to run by you.”
“Okay, I’m intrigued. What is it?”
I pat the spot next to me on my bed, and her eyes grow cautious. “I’m not going to attack you, Ivy. I just want to show you something.”
She crosses the space and sits next to me, then looks around. “I’ve never seen where you live,” she jokes.
Grinning at her, I say, “Well, it’s not home. That’s for sure.”
“Movies, music videos, a picture of your family—it’s enough to see you’re still the same guy.”
“Same guy I was in high school? I think I’d have to disagree with that.”
“Well, I think you are.”
I bow my head and look at the strings on the guitar. One thing I know for certain is that I’m not, but it’s nice that she thinks I am.
“Garrett told me you just started playing the guitar again on this tour. Why did you stop? You loved it, and you were so good at it.”
“Ivy, there is so much you don’t know.”
She turns to face me, propping a knee up as she twists sideways. “You mean about your father’s death.”
My throat tightens with emotion. “No, I mean about his suicide.” The words come out harsher than I mean them to.
She nods. “I know, but I wish I did.”
We stare at each other, communicating without talking. We’ve been walking this line between friends and not, between friends and lovers, between I don’t know what since this tour started. She knows she’s digging deep and I’m not sure I’m ready to uncover the things I’ve buried.
She rests her hand on my leg. “Xander, you can tell me anything. You can talk to me.”
I wait a beat before answering. My pulse is racing, but I’m not sure if it’s from our contact or the conversation. “Let’s talk about you and what I’ve been working on.”
She pulls her hand to her lap and smiles automatically. It’s a cross between forced and genuine—one I’ve never seen before. “Okay. Spill it,” she says, her tone neutral.
I’m not sure if she’s relieved or offended. I take a breath to steady my voice. “I want to make a video. Take a song like ‘Last Time’ and maybe add percussion, strings, and then I want you to chant over them.”
Her eyes go wide and a huge, genuine smile crosses her face. “You want me to be the girl being sung about in the song, don’t you?”
I nod.
“That’s brilliant,” she responds. Full of enthusiasm, she takes my guitar. “Here, let me show you. Something like this, right?”
She plays a few chords and I get caught up in her movements—the way her fingers dance over the strings, the ease with which she moves her body to the rhythm. This is the real Ivy—the one not putting on a show. The girl who loves music like I do. The reason I fell in love with her to begin with.
She points her finger at me. “You missed your cue.”
I laugh. “You want me to sing the song?”
“Yes. Just take the lead and I’ll interject,” she directs me and starts playing again, tapping her foot.
I have to stop myself from watching her, from thinking this is what we could have been doing together for years. I sing the first verse, but I’m not a singer, so I’d say I talked the first line.
We can’t keep doing this going back and forth thing that we do.
You get mad at me and then slam the door.
I apologize and you open it back up.
But, baby, we keep doing it, and this time it’s the last time.
Ivy bobs her head and closes her eyes, letting the words just flow out.
I know we’re so dysfunctional that it can’t be any good.
Sometimes love just isn’t enough.
But for us it should be, because two wrongs can only make a right.
