The truth of what Lyra had risked by giving herself to him finally hit Jaden in full. And it landed like a ton of bricks.
No wonder she’d disappeared on him tonight. No matter how much she’d wanted him, acting on it had probably made her think a lot about the Pandora’s box she’d opened.
“Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?” he managed.
“It doesn’t matter what I think,” Simon replied. “Vampires were our enemies for centuries. Things have been quiet for a long time, and what with you coming here, it makes me think that our interactions with vampires could be on their way to changing too. But allowing our kind to mate with yours? There could be no children, I don’t think, and even if there could, what do you even do with half-breed monsters like that? Whole bloodlines could end that way. And there would always be the worries about vamps just taking over outright. The rules are going to stand, Jaden, now and for a long time, I think.”
He paused, took a drink, and looked pointedly right into Jaden’s eyes. It surprised him—the wolf saw a great deal more than he’d expected.
“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But I see the way you look at her. I’m not the only one. And you needed to know.”
Jaden exhaled. He must have been holding out a little hope after all because this was definitely what it felt like to have that sort of hope kicked out of you.
“What if someone wants more? What if she wanted more than the rules allowed for?”
Simon simply raised one brow and shook his head. “Lyra understands how it works, believe me. Nobody gets everything they want. Not here or anywhere else. That can’t be news to you.”
No, it sure as hell isn’t. Jaden passed over his beer bottle for the glass of water that sat beside it, enjoying the cool sensation as it ran down his throat. He was dimly aware of the fact that he was parched, thirsty for something more substantial. Something dark and rich, and forbidden in this place.
The entire room suddenly felt far too small, the scent of wolves going from tolerable to oppressive in an instant. If he’d been under any illusions that Lyra would ever entertain being more than just a temporary lover, they had since vanished like so much smoke.
Yet when she sauntered into the bar, looking larger than life and impossibly gorgeous, every sense honed in on her until she was the only thing in his universe. When her eyes connected with his, it was as though someone had shot several thousand volts of electricity through his system. His mouth watered. His fangs lengthened and sharpened, a natural response to his most basic instincts where she was concerned.
No caution. Only need.
Simon’s words only barely penetrated his Lyra-induced haze. “Alone together too often… need to listen to me before you do something stupid…”
Jaden would have warned him, if he’d been able to speak. As it was, she’d nearly reached the table by the time Simon realized they had company. To her credit, the only indication she gave that she’d heard anything was the single, reproachful look she gave Simon before turning all her attention on Jaden.
She didn’t see the way Simon flushed and looked away, but Jaden did. The poor sod’s in love with her and he doesn’t even know it. Jaden couldn’t conjure up much sympathy though. At least Simon had a shot. He was, after all, the correct species. But Jaden’s problems loomed larger at the moment.
Like how to throttle back on his feelings for Lyra, which seemed to have taken root in deep, fertile, and delusional soil.
“Hey,” she said. She still looked too pale, with dark circles shaded under her eyes that shouldn’t have been there… that he very much wished he hadn’t put there. But she also looked like she had pulled herself together, which was something Jaden was beginning to find he could count on with Lyra. Even when she was down, she wasn’t out. Not for long.
It was a strength he could appreciate.
“Hey,” he replied, wondering what had brought her after him.
“My father wants you back at the house. Something about your Jedi mind trick. I told him he can’t learn to do it, but…” She trailed off, shrugged. “He’s the boss, and I guess he wants entertaining. Can you come?”
Jaden realized this was the first time she’d asked him something instead of issuing a direct order. Whether or not the motives were sincere, he liked it.
“Sure, I think we’re about done here.” And he was glad, after watching Simon go all lovesick… not that he was entirely unfamiliar with the sensation where Lyra was concerned. Still, it was as he’d figured. “We’re better as friends” sounded all great and selfless, but wasn’t holding up when faced with the woman herself.
Too bad for you, Simon. At least for now, the woman is taken.
The thought, hot and possessive, came out of nowhere. And ill-advised or not, Jaden knew it was true enough.
He stood and let his eyes roam the length of her, from the tall boots and tight jeans to the long fitted T-shirt that made him want to build a shrine to whoever had first thought of adding Lycra to cotton. Her hair was partially tamed, pulled back in a ponytail and yet still managing to explode in wild curls.
“Let’s go, then,” Jaden said, before inclining his head toward Simon. “Thanks for the drink, Simon. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. Hey, Lyra. I got optimistic and bought us concert tickets for after the Proving. Hard Reign. You in?”
He seemed ridiculously hopeful, but Lyra seemed to tighten up, her shoulders going rigid. Jaden had never seen her deal with another wolf as a superior dealing with an inferior, but it was fascinating. And gratifying, on some level. He wasn’t exactly a paragon of manners, but he understood when he was being deliberately excluded. Simon was trying to add a lesson onto his lecture: I’ll be here, and with her, long after you’re gone.
Maybe he didn’t like Simon much after all. And Lyra, at least right now, seemed to share the sentiment.
She stared down her nose, looking Simon dead in the eye. Jaden was surprised to see the flash of warning in Simon’s eyes, surprised it took him so long to stand down. But in the end, he did, slowly dropping his head so that the back of his neck was bared to Lyra. It was a reluctant sign of submission.
“You think that fixes this?” she asked. “Do you even understand why I’m upset?”
“I understand plenty,” Simon said, lifting his eyes to hers. “More than you these days, seems like.” He stood, pulling his jacket from the back of the chair. He nodded at Jaden.
“Good seeing you. Remember what I said. And for Fenrir’s sake, watch it.”
Simon left, Lyra watching him head out the door with barely another look at her. Her face fell into much sadder lines once he was gone. She was the only one Jaden currently felt sorry for.
Deliver me from lovesick werewolves, unless they happen to be pining over me. Jaden followed Lyra outside.
The night was fragrant with the green scent of spring. Frogs sang somewhere nearby, making the silence between them marginally less oppressive. After they’d gone a few steps, with Simon nowhere to be seen, she turned to look at him.
“I changed my mind about tonight,” she said, her chin up but not quite able to hold his gaze. “I want to train, I just—”
“I know,” Jaden said. “I just had a crash course in a particular section of The Rules According to Werewolves.”
She didn’t look the least bit surprised, merely resigned.
“I figured,” she said, glaring into the night. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but I knew he was up to something tonight when I heard he’d invited you out. I’m sorry. He means well, but it doesn’t always translate.” She sighed. “Not even to me. But maybe it’s best. More believable when it’s not me stammering about it.”
“You regret it, then,” he said quietly. Her lack of response, the way her cheeks colored, was answer enough, though her eventual answer was a little less definite.
“The answer to that is more complicated than you’d ever understand,” she said.
“Try me,” Jaden offered, but she shook her head.
“I just want to get back to what we’re supposed to be doing,” she said. “What happened, all of this… it’s too much. I thought I could handle the whole ‘in the moment’ thing you talked about, but I can’t. I’m not built that way.”
He could accept that. He could respect that. Even if he didn’t like it a damn bit.
“Then just promise me something, all right? I felt like we were at least getting to be friends, before… well, before. If nothing else, I’d like to pick up where we left off with that.”
Lyra smiled, but it looked sad and wistful in the darkness. “I’d like that too,” she replied. “Deal.”
They shook on it, but even now, Jaden felt the hot snap of connection as soon as their skin touched. He didn’t fully understand it, but nothing would ever make him stop wanting to explore it. And though she managed to shutter her expression quickly, he saw from the way her eyes went to burning embers that Lyra felt it too.
Even if she wanted—even if she needed—to deny it existed.
Chapter EIGHTEEN
JADEN DIDN’T HAVE much to offer as a token of goodwill. He wanted Lyra to be comfortable with him again, and he wanted to try to get back on some kind of even footing, to repair whatever had been broken. He’d spent a full week now trying every rusty tool in his limited arsenal to fix things between them, from charm to humor to a simple willingness to let Lyra set the parameters of their faltering relationship.
In the end, he only had his fallback position, which was better than nothing.
He cooked.
Fragrant steam rose from the soup he’d thrown together. He stirred the pot, tossed in a pinch of salt or another herb, and then stirred some more. A cutting board on the counter sat covered in the remains of carrots, potatoes, celery, garlic, and a few onions. At his elbow rested a glass of B positive he had pilfered from the county hospital last night. The rest of the bag was staying cool and, he hoped, inconspicuous behind Dorien’s beer in the garage fridge. Jaden took a sip of the blood, put down the glass, and then sipped from the ladle he dipped into the kettle.
