Colby’s mind flashed to Sherry Waterman. He liked her and enjoyed her company. He felt the same about Norah. But it was Valerie who set his heart on fire. Valerie who challenged him. Valerie whom he needed. Not anyone else, only Valerie.
“Don’t you worry about her,” David continued. “She’ll be fine. In a while, she’ll regroup and be a better person for having experienced love, even for such a short time. As for marrying Rowdy Cassidy, I don’t think you need to concern yourself with that, either.”
“Why not?”
“Because I know my daughter. I know exactly what I would’ve done had Grace decided against marrying me. I’d have gone back to my world, worked hard and made a decent life for myself. But I would never have fallen in love again. I wouldn’t have allowed it to happen.”
Colby didn’t say anything. By now, Valerie was on the interstate. It was too late. Even if he did go after her, they wouldn’t be able to stop. Not on the freeway with cars screaming past. It would be reckless and dangerous and beyond all stupidity to chase her now. Besides, what could he possibly have to say that hadn’t already been said?
David stood. “You want another cup of coffee?”
“No, thanks. I should be on my way.”
“I’ll be in your office bright and early Tuesday morning, then.”
Colby nodded. It was time to get back to his life, the life he’d had before he met Valerie Bloomfield.
Valerie refused to cry. She’d never been prone to tears and, except for a few occasions, had usually managed to fend them off. Even as a child, she’d hated crying, hated the way the salty tears had felt on her face.
What astonished her was how much it hurt to hold everything inside. It felt as though someone had crammed a fist down her throat and expected her to breathe normally.
In an effort to push aside the pain of leaving Colby, she focused her thoughts on all the good he’d brought into her life. Without him, she would have lost her father. Norah had told her as much that first evening. Colby was the one who’d convinced her father to go to the hospital. Colby was the one who’d performed the life-saving surgery.
If for nothing else, she owed him more for that than anyone could possibly repay.
But that wasn’t all he’d given her. Dr. Colby Winston had taught her about herself, about love, about sacrifice.
She would always love him for that. Now she had to teach herself to release him, to let him go. Finding love and then freely relinquishing it might well prove to be a tricky business. She’d never given her heart to a man before. Loving Colby was the easy part. It felt as though she’d always known and loved him, as if he’d always been part of her life. It seemed impossible that they’d met only a few weeks ago.
Leaving him was the hardest thing she’d ever done.
The self-doubts, the what-ifs and might-have-beens rolled in like giant waves, swamping her with grief and dread.
Dragging in a deep breath, she fought the urge to turn the car around and head back. Back to Orchard Valley. Back home.
Back to Colby.
Instead, she exhaled, tried to relax, tried to tell herself that everything would feel much better once she got to Texas. She’d be able to submerge the pain in her job. When she resumed her position with CHIPS, she could begin to forget Colby and at the same time treasure her memories of him.
Valerie didn’t realize there were tears in her eyes until she noticed how blurry the road in front of her had become. Hoping to distract herself, she turned on the radio and started humming along with a country-western singer lamenting her lost love.
“Stop it,” Valerie muttered to herself, weeping harder than ever. Irritably, she snapped off the radio, then swiped at the tears with the back of one hand, reminding herself she was too strong, too independent, for such weak emotional behavior.
Not until she was changing lanes on the freeway did she see the Buick behind her. A maroon sedan, traveling at high speed, passing cars, going well over the limit.
Colby? It couldn’t be.
More than likely it was just a car that looked like his. It couldn’t be him. He’d never come after her. That wasn’t his style. No, if he ever had a change of heart, something she didn’t count on, it wouldn’t be for weeks, months. Colby wasn’t impulsive.
The Buick slowed down and moved directly behind Valerie’s car and followed her for a moment before putting on the turn signal. If it hadn’t been for the tears in her eyes she would’ve been able to make out the driver’s features.
The car honked. It had to be Colby. He didn’t expect her to stop on the freeway, did he? It wouldn’t be safe. There was an exit ramp only a few miles down the road and she drove toward that, turned off when she could and parked. Luckily traffic was light, and the shoulders on both sides of the road were wide enough for her to park safely. When she did, Colby pulled in behind her.
She’d barely had time to unfasten her seat belt before he jerked open her door.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded.
“What does it look like? I’m chasing after you.”
Legs trembling, she climbed out of her car and stood leaning against it, hands on her hips. “This better be good, Winston. I’ve got a plane to catch.”
“You’ve been crying.”
“There’s something in my eye.”
“Both eyes apparently.”
“All right, both eyes.” She didn’t know what silly game he thought he was playing, but she didn’t have the patience for it. “Why are you here? Surely there’s a reason you came racing after me.”
“There’s a reason.”
“Good.” She crossed her arms and shifted her position. Whatever Colby wanted to say was obviously causing him trouble, because he started pacing in front of her, hands clenched.
“This is even harder than I expected,” he finally admitted.
Not daring to hope, Valerie said nothing.
“I can’t believe what a mess I’ve made of this. Listen.” He turned to face her, his expression as closed as always. “I want you to come back to Orchard Valley.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you and because I’d like us to talk this through. You love me, too, Valerie. I don’t think I realized how much until just now. It must’ve been so hard to come to me, to lay your heart out like that and then have me send you away. I—”
“You don’t need to apologize,” she broke in.
“I do.”
Valerie had no idea, not the slightest, where all this was leading. She took a shaky breath. “All right, you’ve apologized.”
“Will you come back?”
“If you want to talk, we can do it at the airport.” That seemed like a fair suggestion.
“I want to do more than talk,” he said. “I want you to show me how we’re going to make this marriage work, because darned if I know. We haven’t got one thing working in our favor. Not one.”
“Then why even try?”
“Because if you leave now I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life. Sure as anything, I’m going to think back to this moment for the next fifty years and wish I’d never let you go. The problem is, I’m not sure what to do now—you’ve got me so tied up in knots I can’t think straight.”
“No wonder you don’t look happy.”
“You’re right, I’m not happy. I’m furious.”
Valerie grinned. “Love is rather frightening, isn’t it?”
Colby grinned, too, for the first time. “But you know something? It’s living without you, without your love, that frightens me.”
“Oh, Colby…”
“Let’s say we did get married,” he said, the gravel under his feet crunching as he paced.
“All right, let’s say we did.”
“Are you going to want a job outside the home?”
“Yes, Colby, I will.”
“What about children?”
“Oh, yes, at least two.” She found it odd to be discussing something so personal while standing at the side of a road.
“How do you propose to be both a mother and an executive?”
“How do you intend to be both a father and a surgeon? Not to mention a husband? You have a career, too, Colby.”
“You can’t have it all, Valerie.”
“Neither can you! Besides, it doesn’t have to be either or. Half the women in America maintain a career and a family, but there have to be compromises. You’re right, I won’t be able to do everything. I couldn’t even begin to try.”
“I don’t like the idea of farming our children out to strangers.”
“Frankly, I don’t, either, but there are ways of working around that. Ways of making the situation acceptable to both of us. For one thing, I could set up an office at home. It’s pretty common these days with e-mail and teleconferencing and everything. Rowdy might be willing to start a branch of the company on the West Coast, and I think he might be persuaded to pick Oregon—especially if a hard-working executive chose to live there.”
Colby nodded and thrust his hands into his pockets.
“I know I’m not what you want in a wife, Colby. You’d rather I was the kind of woman who’d be content to stay home and do needlepoint and put up preserves. But that isn’t who I am, and I can’t change. I’d give anything to be the woman you want, but if I’m not true to myself, the marriage would be doomed before we even said our vows.”
“I don’t think we should be concerning ourselves with some unrealistic image I’ve invented. What about the man you want?”
She smiled and looked away. “You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted.”
He reached for her then, wrapping his arms tightly around her, dropping a gentle kiss on the side of her neck. A deep shudder went through him as he exhaled.
“I’m never going to be able to stop loving you.”
“Is that so terrible?” she asked in a whisper, her throat raw.
“No, it’s the most wonderful blessing of my life.” His eyes were warm and loving as he brought up his hands to clasp her shoulders. “I’ve been arrogant. Selfish. I nearly destroyed both our lives because I refused to accept the gift you offered me.”
“Oh, Colby.”
“There won’t be any guarantees.”
“If I wanted guarantees, I’d buy myself a new car. Everything in life is a risk, but I’ve never been more willing to take one than with you.” She smiled. “I’m very sure of what I feel for you, even though it all developed so quickly.”
“Like it sprang to life fully formed,” he added.
“The most exciting thing is that we have a lifetime to get to know everything about each other.”
“I’d say we’re in for an adventure.”
“Yes, but it’ll be the grandest adventure of all.” Valerie’s arms went around his neck as he lowered his mouth to hers. One kiss wiped out the pain and the torment of these past few days. Colby must have felt it, too, because he kissed her again and again, their need insatiable, their joy boundless.
