“Go away!”
Olivia sat on the edge of the bed, her heart pounding, her arms wrapped around a pillow, as she stared apprehensively at the door. Long moments of silence passed, and still she fretted that Sebastian would return.
She was stricken to realize she had underestimated the power of his attractiveness. In the four months of his absence, she’d managed to convince herself that their passion would fade eventually. Now she knew it would never fade. Her love for him wouldn’t allow it.
Still, she was grimly satisfied that she’d managed to thwart his amorous intent, if only for this evening. She was barely surviving every day, her heart aching with his loss. He certainly deserved whatever discomfort she could throw at him.
After a time, Olivia relaxed, somewhat deflated that he had given up so easily. With a sigh, she stood, tossed the pillow aside, and began to undress herself, no easy task with the row of tiny buttons running down the back of her gown. She was doing a fine imitation of a contortionist when impatient fingers brushed hers away. Startled, she screamed and spun to face her husband, who gazed at her with ravenous hunger and barely tempered frustration.
“How did you—” She glanced around his large form, spying the very top of a ladder resting against her balcony railing. “Dear heaven. The audacity.”
Arching a brow, Sebastian tugged at his cravat. “I am a pirate by trade, wife. A barred door is no deterrent to me.”
“Wh-what are you doing?” she cried as he deftly removed his waistcoat, tossing it over his discarded jacket.
“I’ve conquered. Now it is time to claim my booty. In this case, you.” He yanked off his shirt, revealing his powerful torso and rippling abdomen. He had become darker in the weeks they’d been apart, his skin was now a beautiful mahogany. Her mouth flooded.
Good grief, she was going to drool.
“Put your clothes back on!” she snapped, clutching her loosened bodice to her breasts. “I’m furious with you!”
He grunted. “I’ve gathered that.” He tore open the placket of his breeches and shoved them to the floor.
“Oh hell . . .” she muttered as his raging cock sprang free, hard as steel and massively engorged. Her nipples hardened instantly. Olivia forced herself to meet his gaze and saw the masculine satisfaction there. He knew damn well the effect his bare body had on her.
“Ah, see how much I’ve missed you, sweet,” he purred in his luscious voice. “It’s been too long since I was last inside you.”
She swallowed hard. “I don’t want you.”
“Liar.”
“I’m angry,” she complained, her resistance melting as Sebastian took his cock in hand and began to stroke the silken length.
“This is how I’ve spent my nights, Olivia.” His fingers curled around his shaft and pumped hard. “Visions of you had me begging for a release that was denied to me. Sleeping in that bed where we’d spent so many pleasurable hours making love was torture.” His eyelids grew heavy as he pleasured himself. “Every night I would bring myself relief with pictures of you in my mind. Didn’t you miss me as well?”
Olivia licked her lips, her gaze riveted to the dark hand that stroked his cock. She wanted him so badly she ached. She loved him. Despite everything, she still loved him.
“This changes nothing,” she whispered. “It is only sex.”
His grin was triumphant, and it pricked her pride. Sebastian might think he’d won this encounter, but she would prove differently.
She crossed the short distance between them and dropped to her knees. Grasping his straining erection, she pulled it down to her mouth and sucked it inside, swirling her tongue around the plum-sized head. His hiss of pleasure followed by the convulsive grip of his fingers in her hair betrayed her power. A few quick thrusts of his hips, and his thighs were straining with the effort to remain standing.
“Poor, sweet,” she murmured against the wet head of his cock. “Perhaps you should lie on the bed before you collapse.”
Pulling her upright, Sebastian possessed her mouth, thrusting his tongue inside just as he had thrust his cock. His skilled hands caressed her curves with disarming familiarity. Within moments, she was clinging to his powerful body, gasping with pleasure. He ripped her gown open, sending scores of tiny cloth-covered buttons flying in every direction. Excitement coursed through her blood, even as her mind still waged its protest.
“This changes nothing,” she repeated.
“Remind yourself of that when I’m done,” he growled arrogantly, shoving her dress to the floor. He spun her around and tore at her tapes, quickly divesting her of her petticoats and corset without care for the costly garments.
“Sebastian—”
“Umm . . . say my name again, sweeting. I love the way you say it.”
She melted. “Sebastian.”
He pulled her chemise over her head and tossed it aside before lifting her and carrying her to the bed, his mouth pressed firmly against her forehead. “I’ve missed you terribly.”
Olivia shook her head, her eyes burning with unshed tears. She tugged the ribbon from his queue, freeing his silky raven locks. “I should be stronger. I should resist you. You’ve hurt me terribly. Perhaps if I had a blade or a pistol—”
“Neither one could keep me from you.”
Then why had he left? More important, she needed to know why he’d returned.
“I love you, Olivia.”
Stiffening against him, she leaned back to search his face. Sebastian stared back with tender blue eyes, and Olivia bit back a sob. She’d longed for his love, and she longed to believe it was real. But she couldn’t trust him, and because of that lack, instead of joy, his words brought only pain.
“Why do you look so shocked, sweet? Surely you must have suspected how I felt.” He laid her on the bed as if she were the most priceless of treasures.
“You came back because you love me?” she queried bitterly. “Only a besotted fool would believe that.”
“I didn’t come back because I love you.”
She frowned, confused.
“I left because I love you.”
Sebastian settled atop her and lowered his lips, effectively silencing her forthcoming questions with devastating kisses. His hard, expert mouth moved over hers, weakening her defenses, reminding her of the pleasure to be found in his arms. He rolled, taking her with him, freeing his hands to roam with questing tenderness. Hot flicks of his tongue caressed the roof of her mouth and stroked against hers. Lord, she’d almost forgotten how well the man could kiss!
His mouth was wicked, divine, and he kissed her as if he were feasting on the taste of her. Her womb clenched on the verge of orgasm. She wiggled her hips until his cock was wedged at the moist entrance to her body.
“Wait!” he gasped, tearing his mouth from hers, but she paid him no heed, sliding onto his throbbing cock with a pleasured moan. “Olivia!”
Instantly his torso bucked off the bed, lifting her with him, and he was coming deep within her, crying out hoarsely as his hot seed spurted with wrenching shudders. His arms came around her in a crushing embrace, his body shivering with powerful tremors.
Olivia held him close, wondering at the feel of him, hot and hard and jerking beneath her. When he was drained, she followed him back into the pillows.
“Ah, sweeting,” he murmured hoarsely, stroking her spine. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop it. It’s been too long.”
“I understand.”
“Give me a moment to regain my senses, and I will pleasure you until morning.”
His words, meant to entice, filled her with dread. She slipped off him while he was still too sated to stop her. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Olivia ran a hand through her hair, dislodging her hairpins. “You left me, Sebastian.”
“I had good cause,” he insisted, rolling to face her. “Originally I agreed to stay only for the short time you asked of me. But when you told me you loved me, it changed everything. I realized I loved you and wanted to be with you, but I had my men to take care of, and my ship. I had to sever my ties with them before I could begin anew with you.”
Olivia brushed away the tear that escaped and took a deep, shuddering breath. So much resentment, fear, and even a touch of wary hope warred within her that she was overwhelmed with emotion.
She looked over her shoulder at her husband, her heart aching at the sight of his resplendent nakedness and his beloved hair, spread out across her lacy pillows. Somehow the highly feminine trappings of her bed only emphasized his potent masculinity. But it was his gaze that most devastated her, full of longing and love and a hint of fear. She looked away, unable to bear it. “You were gone for four months.”
His fingertips moved over her back in a rhythmic caress. “I gave my ship to Will and settled my accounts with the crew. It was my intention to cast off immediately and return to you.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No,” he agreed. “For good reason. There are twin brothers—pirates, I’m ashamed to say I associated with. I’ve angered them, and they are not men to forgive a perceived slight. The night we left Barbados they demanded you in payment of my debt.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. Will informed me that the serving maid at the inn where you stayed was approached by one of the brothers. He asked questions about you, Olivia. He learned your identity. I could not allow the situation to progress any further. You were in danger because of me.”
She spun to face him. “What did you do?”
Sebastian reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. “I waited for the pirates to return to the island, and when they did, I fought with the more vicious of the two and killed him. The other managed to escape. I hunted him, but he’s hidden himself away. I have every reason to believe he’ll stay hidden. Pierre was never much of a threat without Dominique.”
Olivia traced the swirling pattern in the Aubusson rug with her toe. “You could have told me of your plans.”
“You were asleep,” he explained defensively. “I’d kept you awake the whole of the night and thought it best to leave quietly. I wrote you a letter.”
She stood and paced the length of the bed. “That was no letter, my lord. That was a few lines of hastily scrawled words.”
“I was reluctant to write more,” he admitted.
She paused. “Why?”
He met her gaze with such earnestness that her barely mending heart broke all over again. “If I’d delayed too long—if I’d attempted to say good-bye—I never would have been able to leave you, especially if you’d begged to come with me, which I suspected you might. Denying you would have been impossible, and it was too dangerous for you to accompany me.” Sitting up, he crossed his long legs. “Olivia. My wife. My love. Can you understand?” He held his hands out to her, pleading.
“No, Sebastian.” She shook her head. “You left for yourself. Not for me. You—”
“That’s not true, damn it!”
“It is! You ran because that is what you do. You’ve been running your whole life—from your family, your responsibilities, everything. This time you were running from me.” She growled with frustration and clenched her fists. “Beautiful, damaged man that you are. I thought I could fix you, heal you, but I cannot.”
He leapt from the bed and caught her by the shoulders. “Listen to me.”
“No, you listen to me!” She stomped her bare foot. “You broke my heart, Sebastian Blake. Left me to the wolves while you regrouped and gathered your defenses—against me! I was getting too close, becoming too important, you—”
“Important?” he scoffed, shaking her. “You are everything to me. I’ve given up all that I had for you!”
She snorted. “Well, you shouldn’t have. You threw away what we had.”
“No.” He paled beneath his tan. “Don’t say that. God . . . Olivia . . . don’t ever say that!”
“I cannot rely on you.”
“You can,” he promised. “I shall never leave you again. I swear it. I could no more leave you than I could stop breathing.”
“You broke your promise before. How can I believe you now?”
She would not survive it if he hurt her again.
“Damn it . . .” His hands slid down her arms. “Sweetheart.” His velvety voice became soothing, seducing. “I love you, Olivia.”
“Not enough.” She pulled away. “It’s too convenient for you to run. There is nothing to hold you to me.”
“Our marriage, our love. I know you love me still.”
“Apparently my love was not enough,” she whispered bitterly. “Or yours.”
When Sebastian caught her again, she could feel the desperation in his touch. “It has to be enough, Olivia. It’s all I have.” Lifting her, he carried her to the bed.
“You cannot get your way with seduction.”
“Perhaps not,” he muttered. “But I can sweeten your temper.”
Sebastian stared up at the velvet canopy and listened to the sounds of his wife’s rhythmic breathing. He’d loved her into exhaustion, but he was no closer to winning back her heart than he’d been before he started.
Of course, it wouldn’t be so easy. When had anything in his life been easy?
Releasing a sigh, he admitted that wasn’t entirely true. Winning Olivia’s love had been easy, almost as easy as he’d lost it. God, what a mess he was in. If her love was gone . . .
No, he wouldn’t think about that.
She murmured, stirring restlessly. He reached over and tucked the counterpane more securely around her.
Olivia was his wife. He glanced at her left hand and breathed his satisfaction at the sight of his mother’s sapphire. In reality, he had the rest of his life to win her back. But the truth was, he didn’t have the rest of his life to wait.
