The older woman drew herself up to her most noble height. "Marriage," she said darkly. "Marriage!" Sariana felt herself flushing furiously. The knowledge was maddening. "I assure you,
marriage is the very last thing on my mind at the moment. And I would certainly have little interest in forming an alliance with a Shield, of all people. Why, Gryph isn't even of the same social class as myself. We have absolutely nothing in common. The whole notion is quite out of the question." Sariana knew her own clan would be shocked at the idea.
Lady Avylyn brightened, obviously relieved. "Just as well. Just as well. Shield marriages are, well, never mind. It's difficult to explain and I'm not sure anybody except a Shield and his mate really understand the relationship, anyway. It's just that since you weren't raised here, you don't know much about Shields and I felt it my duty to warn you that… Never mind. No warnings are necessary as long as you are quite certain that both of you are only interested in having a fling."
"I'll tell you a secret, madam. I don't know what I want."
"Then my advice is to throw yourself into an affair." Lady Avylyn tapped Sariana's wrist with her folded fan. "Indulge yourself in some fun, my dear. It would do you a great deal of good, I'm sure. See you at the buffet."
Lady Avylyn swung around in a whirl of golden skirts and sailed out of the alcove. Sariana stared after her. Lady Avylyn was right. The only sort of relationship Sariana could possibly
have with Gryph was an affair, and she had been toying with the mildly scandalous, wholly fascinating idea since the night he had found her in the conservatory.
Things were different in the western provinces. One could be a bit reckless and daring and no one would think twice about it. One could even have an affair that crossed class lines and the most anyone would do was smile.
For the past three days Sariana had been mulling the matter over. She had deliberately evaded Gryph while she tried to sort out her own confused feelings on the subject. In the end, she had sat down at her desk and resorted to the management tool of composing a neat little matrix of positives and negatives.
On the positive side, she was unmarried and she was old enough to conduct an affair. She was wise enough to handle it discreetly, which would have been the main requirement back home. She wasn't sure discretion was terribly important here in the western provinces unless one or both members of the couple were married.
The truth was, she probably wouldn't have to worry all that much about discretion. She had written that fact into the decision matrix, too. It seemed important. She was an ocean away from her homeland where such things were valued and she was unlikely to ever see anyone here again if she managed to return east next year.
Also on the positive side had been a reluctant admission that she was attracted to Glyph Chassyn in a way she had never known with any other man. She was uncertain about the wisdom of satisfying the compelling curiosity that was growing within her. Yet she thought that, on the whole, it might be better to test its depths. It was always better to confront the unknown and deal with it.
She had added that sensible note to the positive side of the matrix, too. The longer she sat at her desk, the longer the list of positives got.
In the end, the negative side of the matrix had contained only one entry; a worrisome note reminding herself that she really had nothing in common with a Shield. The only thing be could possibly want from her was a sexual liaison.
Of course, she told herself now as she watched the couples circle the glittering ballroom, a sexual liaison was all she was looking for too.
Something seemed to be missing in the equation, however. She was afraid to ask what that something might be.
Sariana sipped her punch and wished desperately she knew more about sex and men in general. She had the vague but disturbing sensation that she was standing on the brink of a very sheer cliff.
A faint tapping on the window made Sariana spin around. The diaphanous skirts of her gown swirled weightlessly. She barely stifled a scream when she saw the dark figure on the opposite side of the glass. Then his eyes met hers.
"Gryph!" She saw the way he was clutching one shoulder and a frantic sense of panic set in. He was hurt.
Having got her attention, Gryph stepped back into the shadows of the garden. Sariana didn't hesitate. She caught up her skirts in one hand and slipped quickly out of the alcove. She passed unnoticed through a tangle of laughing guests and a moment later she was safely out of the ballroom. Once she was clear of the hall, Sariana broke into a run.
A short time later she was on the path that would bring her to the gardens directly outside the alcove. The glow of light through the windows guided her. She was almost on top of Gryph when he materialized out of the shadows. His eyes were silvery pools shimmering with an emotion that might have been pain or lust. Sariana assumed it was pain.
"About time you got here," he muttered. He was still clutching his shoulder and swaying slightly on his feet. He looked somewhat the way he had the night he'd been drugged with Aunt Peria's hypnotic potion. "I'm going to need a little help and I didn't want to startle any of the household attendants."
"You're bleeding. There's blood all over you."
"Not all of it's mine. Help me get to my chambers, Sariana."
Sariana carefully took his uninjured arm and started down the garden path toward the wing of the house that contained their suites. "I'll send one of the attendants for a medic."
"No." Gryph drew a deep breath. "I've already been to one. He closed the shoulder and put something on the wound for the pain before I could stop him."
"Why would you want to stop him from giving you a painkiller?" Sariana demanded.
"I'm a Shield."
Sariana was incensed. "What difference does that make? Do Shields have to go around proving their bravery by refusing painkillers when they've been hurt?"
"Has anyone ever told you that you have all the makings of a scold?" Gryph retorted. "With very little effort you could turn into a complete nag."
"With you for inspiration, I'm willing to make the effort," she snapped. "Now tell me what's going on here. Why didn't you want a painkiller?"
"Some kinds of drugs don't work on a Shield the same way they do on other people. Remember the night you knocked me unconscious with that mild hypnotic you had Mara slip into my ale?" His words sounded increasingly slurred.
Sariana was stricken with guilt. "I didn't realize it would affect you that way. I was assured it wouldn't combine with the alcohol into anything more potent than what it already was."
