Of course, that brought a fleeting shadow of a thought, about her and Derek, but she pushed it away for now. There’d be time to deal with that. Instead of feeling helpless about the inevitability of it, she had a quiet, resolute calm, underscored with the painful knowledge that it was the right decision.
For now, though, first things first. She found a basin in the kitchen, filled it with warm water and soap, got a washcloth out of the bathroom and gave him a sponge bath, knowing he liked to be clean, that he’d grumble about messing up her sheets. She didn’t care. He was here, and alive. As she passed her cloth over those fine long limbs, the muscled chest, his handsome face, she didn’t realize she was crying again until he shifted, his eyes half opening. His hand came up, cupped her face, and then he was groping for her waist, tugging her onto the bed with him.
“Come here, girl. Sleep with me. Be with me.”
She put the basin aside. “Tell me if I’m hurting anything.”
In answer he grunted, pulled her closer so she was draped over him. Putting a hand over her temple, he absently stroked her there. “Sleep, baby.”
So she did, stretching her other arm out over him. Theo climbed up on the bed with painstaking effort, but once there he managed to lie down on Derek’s other side without trampling the sorcerer. Now they had him sandwiched between them. She laid a palm on Theo’s side, her forearm across Derek’s chest so she could feel both their hearts beat, and let her eyes close.
SHE CODDLED DEREK AS LONG AS HE LET HER, WHICH of course wasn’t long. She brought him food in bed, kept him company, opened the doors and windows wide in the cottage during the sunny day. By the second morning, he wanted up. They joined Linda for dinner each night after that, and sometimes the coven came as well. Ruby handled the final teaching points with Derek watching and offering input from the bench in the gazebo they insisted he use.
During the days, she managed to coax him into mostly sitting on the cottage or main house porch, particularly when she sat between his feet, leaning against his leg and scratching Theo’s stomach. Sometimes the coven members joined him there, and he showed them things. Simple things for him, but amazing to the array of witches. Like creating wind knots from a length of rope.
With mesmerizing skill and grace, he’d focus his power, speak the phrases, and twist and thread the rope into the necessary three knots. Depending on which knot was untied, a fisherman would be given a pleasant breeze, a stiffer wind to pull him out of a tricky area, or an all-out gale. Perhaps for the days when he’d prefer to stay in the marina to drink beer, he explained gravely, amusing the women.
Occasionally, during their morning breakfast times out on that porch, she tried to tickle Derek’s bare soles while he drank his coffee and read his newspaper. One morning, he rolled up the latter and threatened to swat her with it like the dog. But it was the day he came out of the chair, managing to chase her a few paces, all without gripping his side or showing much discomfort, she knew he was getting better. Things eased in her stomach, even while they tightened up in her chest, that shadow returning.
TODAY HE’D CAUGHT HER. SHE WIGGLED AWAY FROM THE slap of the newspaper with an indignant shriek, taking a boxer’s defensive stance once she got free.
“You better be careful when I’m drinking hot coffee,” he advised. “I might burn something you have a use for.”
She sniffed, unimpressed. “You better be careful how you use that newspaper. Don’t forget what happened with Merlin and Nimue, tough guy. She locked him in a cave for a bazillion years.”
“Yeah, but when he got out, payback was hell.”
As he settled back in his chair, giving her a gimlet eye, she put herself in the chair across from him. Folding her knees up against herself, her feet curled over the edge, she knew she was taking a defensive stance, cradling that cold ball of apprehension that had formed in her stomach. It was time for the idyllic pause to end; she knew it. He’d given her part of his soul. Forgiven her, as she’d forgiven him. She had to be brave enough to broach the subject.
“I guess I better be getting home, and you need to go do…. whatever it is you do next.”
Derek glanced at her over his paper. With his usual infallible intuition, he folded it precisely, set it aside and leveled his full attention on her. “I expect what I do next is up to you, Ruby. You have a decision to make.”
She nodded. It didn’t surprise her that he’d neatly and directly turned the muzzle of that gun right at her, but it didn’t make it easier. She was determined not to get what she wanted and what was right messed up again. If she could learn how to do it on a regular basis, maybe one of these days she’d get both in the same package, right? Folding her arms on her knees, she laid her head there, looking toward him. Her hair spilled down her arm.
“You need to do what you do, Derek. I understand that. And I appreciate the gesture, the things you said. But…. I can accept the way it is for us. I like North Carolina. I’ll stay there for now, and, you know, you come to me when you can. As you always have. I can accept that.”
“You can, hmm? Is that what you want?”
She lifted a shoulder. “It isn’t about that.”
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, it is.” He leaned forward, his knees splayed, forearms braced loosely on them. It brought his regard closer to her, hemming her into the space with the intent look in his eyes. “I’m all for selflessness, sacrifice, service. The world needs those things in good measure from all of us. But remember the whole balance thing? What happened, you having to deal with all that alone, not thinking you had the right— the goddamned right—to ask for more…. Thinking you had to figure it out all by yourself, that’s when things get out of balance.”
She rose from the chair, moved out of his unsettling proximity. “I realize that. I would handle things differently now. I mean, birth control might be a good idea, because obviously, we should plan better in the future, now that you can, you know, have kids. At least with me.” She cleared her throat, aware of his narrowed glance. “But you can’t not save the world when it needs saving, Derek. Neither of us could handle the weight of that. We’ll make this work the way it needs to work, but I’m not going to let you be less than you are. You wouldn’t let me do that, so I’m sure as hell not going to let you get away with it just because you’re worried I’ll do something dumb to compromise my soul again. And I’m not going to let you—”
Derek rose from the chair. In two steps he closed the distance between them, putting his hands on her arms. “You think you run everything in this relationship? You can tell me what I will and won’t do? You won’t be doing that again, with or without soul magic.”
She flushed. “You’re going to be harping on that forever, aren’t you? I wouldn’t try to tell you to do anything, because you’re stubborn as a brick wall.”
“Says the kettle.”
She struggled to hold on to her temper. She was trying to do the right thing, the noble thing. He wasn’t getting it. She also tried to move out of his grasp, unsuccessfully. His grip just tightened. In fact, he pulled her closer, so she was almost up against his chest, staring angrily up into his blue eyes. He looked a little riled himself.
She fought for calm, rationality. She’d thought this through, during the long hours he slept, the nights she’d sat out here alone and looked up at the stars and the moon. At that time, she’d felt at peace with the decision, calm with it. In hindsight, she should have just hit him on the head with a skillet, told him this was the best way, and see if an extra wallop with the cast iron might be more effective than the pointless exercise of adult conversation. Actually, there was a skillet in the kitchenette. She could try it just for the personal satisfaction.
“All I’m trying to say,” she said evenly, “is we don’t have to change things right away. We can take some time, make sure that decisions…. weren’t made in the heat of the moment, things we might not have meant, not right away. You don’t need me hanging around your neck, hampering you when—”
“Ruby.” He cut across her, biting off each syllable. “I’m older than some of the Seven Wonders. How often do you think I say what I don’t mean these days? Don’t be pulling this ‘we’ bullshit. If you’re scared of me being a bigger part of your life, you say so. We’ll deal with it. If you don’t want me as a bigger part of your life, you go ahead and spit that out. I’ll call you a liar and we’ll be done with it.”
“You son of a bitch.” She shoved at his chest, managing to put space between them this time. “You’re not listening. You—”
“No. You’re the one not listening,” Derek exploded. “Damn it, I’m not giving you a choice. Either you come with me, or I stay here with you. Either way, we will be together, and you will be my wife. That’s the end of it.”
She stared at him. “Derek, you can’t stay with me.”
“Doesn’t matter if I can or can’t. I’m not going to be without you anymore. If you’re too damn stubborn to come along with me, work with me, have a life with me, then I’ll put down roots and it will be right here. Or in North Carolina,” he amended, as if she was too addled to understand he didn’t mean here here.
“I’ll get old. You won’t.”
“That’s the body, Ruby. As fine as yours is, I don’t care about that. I’ll love you as much or more at ninety than I love you at twenty-six.”
“That’s what you say now. But—”
Reaching out, he snagged her wrist and yanked her back against him, so hard she hit his chest with an oof. Jerking up her chin, he kissed her, angry, hot and deep, gripping her hair to hold her still, his hand low on her hip and then down, a firm clamp on her ass to keep her in place, let her feel every hungry inch of his body. She struggled, but he wouldn’t let go. In fact, he just hiked her up around the waist, made her wrap her legs around him and carried her inside, shouldering open the screen door easily enough to tell her he was, in fact, pretty much all Derek again.
