“Because you always hope for the best, and I always plan for the worst. It’s okay, though. We’ll figure this out. The best time to approach Trevor is going to be at the football game tomorrow. It’s loud. It’s distracting. If the CC happens to have people tracking you or him, it would be really hard to do it with so many bodies and so much noise.”
I nodded, then looked around. “Do you think they can hear us now?”
“No. I’m sure your dad sweeps his house. He used to work for the Bureau, after all. It’s probably why your mom wanted me to tell you here instead of over the phone.”
Even though I wanted to see Trevor right this second, she was right. We had to be careful about this. If the CC was watching, it might be suspicious to invite him over right after Laila showed up. But I knew the giant hole that now existed in my chest would not be filled until Trevor was a part of me again.
“Operation Win Trevor Back begins now.” She sat down on the bed across from me. “So what do you know about him that we can use in our quest?”
“Everything. I know him.”
“Then this should be easy.”
The door creaked open, and Connor came back in carrying a glass of water, which he handed to me. “Everything good?”
“It will be,” Laila said.
He nodded. “Perfect. Then I’m off.”
“What do you mean off?” Laila asked.
“I’m staying out of your way.” He backed out of the room. “We’re leaving Sunday, right?”
Laila nodded, and then he was gone.
I took a sip of water and looked at Laila, whose gaze still lingered on the door. “So why haven’t you told him you’re in love with him?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. When have I ever been in love? Now, back to Trevor. Tell me everything you know.”
The cement was cold on my bare feet as I leaned against the porch railing, but I didn’t want to go inside. I twisted the bottom of my long-sleeved nightshirt over and over again around my finger and stared up at the moon. It was a crescent, just like it had been the night I met Trevor. I had marveled at it that night, having only seen a lifetime of full moons. But now I had a memory full of the moon at different stages. I liked the changes. There were so many things about the Outside that I liked.
The sliding glass door opened and I turned, expecting to see Laila, who I had left asleep in my room, but it was Connor.
“Hey, Addie, can I borrow your computer?”
“Yes, of course.”
He didn’t step back into the house but instead closed the door behind him and asked, “Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “I will be. I think. It’s weird getting all these memories back that no one else has. I wish there was a way I could give them to Trevor. But it’s not like he lived them and had them Erased. He never lived them at all.” I stopped myself abruptly before I started crying again. I didn’t need to cry in front of this almost stranger, no matter how much Laila loved him.
He crossed his arms and walked over to join me at the railing. Then, like I had been doing, he stared up at the moon. I waited for him to say something about how odd it was to see a moon so small, but he didn’t. It didn’t seem odd to him at all. He must’ve spent some time outside the Compound before.
He was quiet for a while, and I was glad he wasn’t trying to give me false assurances or made-up solutions to my problem. He seemed to know there was nothing he could say to change the reality of it. This silent understanding made me feel better. It also made me realize why he was so good for Laila. She hated it when people tried to solve her problems. He was just a calming presence.
I let out a little gasp as I realized how much better I felt and thought about what he might be doing. He turned toward me.
“You’re not a Mood Controller, are you?” I asked.
“No.” Confusion passed over his face. “Didn’t Laila tell you my ability?”
“No. She didn’t.” I relaxed, glad he wasn’t manipulating me. I’d had enough of that with Duke. “Laila is really good at keeping secrets. If you asked her not to tell, she wouldn’t even tell me.”
“I didn’t ask her not to tell.”
I smiled. Well, you’re different, I wanted to say, She loves you. If she thought it was important to him that people didn’t know, I could see why she wouldn’t tell me. This only validated my knowledge of her feelings even more. “She must’ve thought you didn’t want anyone to know.”
His eyes moved to the sliding glass door, as if he expected to see her on the other side.
“She’s asleep,” I answered his unasked question. “Come on, I’ll show you where the computer is.”
He followed me inside. The computer sat on a desk in the corner of the living room. I powered it on, then pulled out the chair for Connor. He sat down and waited for it to come up.
“Did you need help with anything? They don’t have all the sites here that we have in the Compound.” There were so many things I knew now with my memories.
“I know.” He clicked on the internet icon and then hovered his hands over the keyboard. “Thanks.”
I thought he might be waiting for me to leave, but just as I turned to go, he typed a map service into the address bar. “Did you need the printer too?” I asked, thinking he might be printing up directions.
“No, just refreshing my memory.”
I looked at the screen, where he had typed in “Bowie, Texas.” It informed him that it was approximately one hour and forty-two minutes from Dallas. What was in Bowie, Texas, that Connor was so interested in? I took a deep breath and swallowed the question. It was none of my business. If Connor wanted to tell me, he would. He’d probably already told Laila. “Okay, well, good night.”
“Good night.”
I paused. “I take it we won’t be seeing you tomorrow?” I nodded toward the computer.
“Probably not.”
I didn’t care how good Laila was at keeping secrets. I’d ask her what that was all about tomorrow.
CHAPTER 28
Laila: Is there a mind pattern to take away my sense of smell?
I added a layer of lip gloss to my lips and let out a sigh. “Bowie, Texas?”
“Yes.”
“I have no idea why he’d go there. And I don’t really care. He can do what he wants.” That was what I needed to keep telling myself when it came to Connor. That I didn’t care. Otherwise I had to admit that he had way more control over me than I wanted him to.
Addie put some gel in her hair. For the first time since we added the blue streak two months ago, she was wearing it curly. “So what’s the plan?” The football game wasn’t until tonight; I wondered if we needed to do anything to prepare for it.
“I’m trying to remember anything Trevor mentioned he liked.” She pointed to her curls. “There was this zombie note. I don’t think I can really duplicate that, but maybe I can find some other scenarios to duplicate.”
“A zombie note?”
“Yeah. It had to do with books and Charles Dickens.”
I laughed. “Of course it did. So what? You want to do some role-playing right now?”
“No, let’s go somewhere and get my mind off things, so I won’t have a mental breakdown.”
“Okay. Let me just call home real fast.”
“I’ll meet you in the kitchen. I’m going to get some breakfast.”
She left, and I grabbed my phone and shut myself in her bedroom. Eli answered on the third ring. “Were you sleeping?” I asked.
“No, but I’m eating,” he said around an obviously huge mouthful of food.
“Everything going good?”
“Yeah. You know. Same as normal.” He continued to crunch his food, making his voice come out muffled.
“Is Mom at work?”
“Yes.”
“And Dad?”
He hummed the “I don’t know” noise.
“Well, you’re no help.”
He cleared his throat, and his voice, now clear, said, “I started it last night.”
My face seemed to lose all feeling, and even though I’d heard him perfectly, I asked, “What?”
“I started it last night. The program you gave me.”
“Eli. I wish you would’ve waited until I got home.”
“Why? Besides, it didn’t work. Nothing happened.”
“It probably takes a few sessions. But just wait until I’m home to do more.”
“You really don’t trust it, do you? Why would you give it to me at all if you didn’t trust it?”
Guilt twisted my insides. He was right. I may have used Eli as my guinea pig sometimes, but I shouldn’t have turned him into Face’s. “Just wait.”
“All right, fine. Can I finish eating now? My cereal is getting soggy.”
I stood and headed for the door to join Addie in the kitchen. “I’ll be home tomorrow night.”
“Thanks for checking in, young lady. I hope you’re staying out of trouble,” he said in his attempt at an adult’s deep voice.
“Ha-ha.” I opened the door and walked into the hall.
“Oh. Hold up. Derek wants to say hi.”
I listened as the phone got passed between my brothers. “Hey, Laila. It’s supposed to snow again tonight, and we’re going to build a snow house.”
I smiled. “You think you’ll get enough snow for that?”
“Yes. And then when you come home, we’re going to ambush you with snowballs.”
“You gave your plan away. Now I’ll be prepared.”
“We’ll see about that. Well, bye. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye, kid.” I hung up the phone and turned to continue down the hall when Connor stepped out of the bathroom, straight into my path. We nearly collided. He smelled fresh out of the shower, like soap, toothpaste, and deodorant. He wore jeans and a tee, his feet were bare, and a towel hung over his shoulder. He used the end of it to run over his wet hair a few times.
“Hi,” I said from where I had just barely stopped myself from running into him.
“Hey.” He studied my face. Then his eyes dropped to the phone still clutched in my hand. “You look happy. Good phone call?”
“Something like that. Are you going somewhere today?” I asked, wondering if he’d tell me about the trip he had planned.
“Yep.” That’s all he said.
A drop of water clinging to the end of his hair distracted me for a moment. I wondered if he would blow it dry or if his hair air-dried to the perfect combination of messy and styled that normally existed on his head. This thought irritated me more than it should’ve, so I asked, “Need a blow-dryer?”
He ran the towel over it again. “No, I’m good.”
I took a step back, needing to be out of the bubble where all his scents were making me dizzy.
“Why didn’t you tell her?” he asked.
“Tell who what?”
“Why didn’t you tell Addie my ability?” He stared at me with those intense eyes of his. As if the answer to this question would answer more than just this question.
