"At least asshole wouldn't make me sound like a pussy," he grumbled.
She looked incredulously at him. Swept over him with her gaze, up and down then back up again.
"You're the last man I'd ever worry about coming off as a pussy," she said, her eyes gleaming.
"Oh?" Now it sounded like he was fishing for compliments, but this woman's head was harder to get into than Fort Knox. How the fuck was he supposed to know what she was thinking at any given time? She was as erratic and helter-skelter as a drunk butterfly. Who knew what the hell she'd ever do or say next?
"Strong. Rugged. Sexy, even. A bit dense, but otherwise, very nice," she purred.
Now even his ears were red, he was sure. "I've been told I'm a man and it's my lot in life to be dense."
"Well, you have me there," she said out of the side of her mouth.
"So what about you?" he asked as he sat back to study her. "What's your story?"
She looked mildly discomfited by the question, and for the first time looked at a disadvantage. And to think he couldn't imagine this woman ever not on top of things. She exuded confidence. She was sure of her place in the world, and that, to him, was about the sexiest quality a woman could possess.
She raised her wineglass to her lips and took a long sip. Her perfectly manicured nails tapped a moment on the crystal as she seemed to collect her thoughts.
Then she grinned and set it back down again. "I would love to lie to you and tell you that I've traveled the world collecting men for my harem, or that I've rubbed elbows with the rich and famous, but the simple truth is, I'm a small-town girl who's never been out of the great state of Texas. Sad, isn't it?"
His brows drew together. "You could have fooled me. You seem so ... I dunno, knowledgeable, and I don't mean book learning as much as you just seem to have lived a lot of life."
"Well thank you, I think. That almost sounds like a compliment."
"It was intended to be one. You seem to have your head on straight. You're confident and beautiful. I imagine you could go anywhere you wanted and fit in."
She looked completely caught off guard by his assessment. For a long moment she just stared at him as if trying to figure out his angle. This was a cynical woman, and he could see the wheels turning in her head. She thought he was plotting his way into her pants. Flattery, pretty words, all the usual stuff.
The problem was, he sucked when it came to wooing a woman. And while he'd love nothing more than to go home and strip every piece of clothing off her with his teeth, he could wait. If she expected a full-on assault, then he was going to give her just the opposite if it killed him.
"You make me feel like a fraud," she finally said with a rueful smile.
"That wasn't my intention."
She shook her head. "Oh, I know. I'm beginning to think you're actually a sincere guy."
"You say that as if it surprises you."
Her eyes glinted with amusement. "It does."
"Okay, so tell me more. You've never been out of the state of Texas. Any plans to change that?"
She leaned back with a thoughtful look. "You know, I hadn't really given it any thought. I'm so busy with my salon. Don't get me wrong, I spend plenty of time dreaming, but I never really thought about making it a reality."
"What do you dream about?"
She blushed. Actually blushed. He had to snap his jaws shut to keep from gaping, because anything that made this woman blush had to be good.
"My dreams aren't up for discussion until at least the fourth date," she said with a cheeky grin.
He smiled and reached for his glass. "I'll keep that in mind."
He sipped at the wine and tried not to grimace. Anything more refined than beer was wasted on him. This entire restaurant gave him hives, but he figured this was a place that Julie would slide right into.
"You want to ditch this place and go get a beer?"
He blinked and stared at her over the glass that was frozen in midair on its way down to the table. Had she read his freaking mind? Surely he hadn't voiced his thoughts aloud.
"Not that I don't like where you chose for dinner," she said in a rush. "But this is way more Serena and Damon's speed. I'd just as soon head over to Cattleman's and have a beer and some greasy French fries."
Yes. Dear God, yes. He had to control the urge to scramble out of his seat and haul her out behind him.
"You sure?" he asked calmly. It sounded so much better than hell yeah!
She shrugged. "It's up to you."
He held up his hand to motion for the check before the words were completely out of his mouth. Beer and French fries sounded damn good to him. Even better, tasting beer and French fries on her lips later.
Chapter 13
Faith sat on the counter in the bathroom, her legs dangling over the edge. Gray stood between her knees holding the paper bag with the EPT test.
"Before we do this, I think we need to make a few things clear," he said in a husky voice. "Or at least talk about the possibilities."
She nodded as a flutter of panic scuttled higher in her stomach.
"How do you feel about the possibility of you being pregnant?" he asked gently.
She closed her eyes. Why couldn't he say how he felt first? Ah well, honesty and all that stuff. If her not embracing the idea upset him, then maybe . . . No, she wouldn't think about things like leaving the wedding called off. She and Gray were on the same page. She had to believe that.
"Terrified?"
His eyes softened, and he leaned in to press his lips to her forehead.
"You know I want children. Eventually. But Gray, I have to be honest. I'm praying so hard for this to be one huge false alarm."
"Me too," he admitted.
Her shoulders sagged in relief.
"Tell me, baby, is this why you called off the wedding? Did you get scared or think I might be upset if you were pregnant?"
"I wish I could say yes," she said glumly. "But the fact is, I didn't even think about the possibility of pregnancy until Julie mentioned it. My boobs have been tender, and I've been so hormonal. I was convinced you weren't interested in me anymore," she added in an embarrassed voice.
He stilled and then pulled away, his eyes narrow. He looked ... angry.
"Okay, maybe we should talk about a few more things before you take this test. What on earth gave you that idea? Are you not happy with the dynamics of our relationship any longer? You need to tell me if it's not working, Faith. We talked about all this before, but you're entitled to change your mind, you know."
Ugh. This was getting way more complicated than she wanted.
She reached up to touch him, needing that brief moment of contact before she went on. "I love our relationship, Gray. I haven't regretted ceding the power, the decision making, putting myself into your hands completely and wholly. I wanted to be taken care of, and until recently thought you did such a wonderful job of making me feel, well, taken care of."
When he opened his mouth, she placed a finger over his lips.
"I was an idiot, Gray. I swear I'm not usually so irrational. I just got scared. I'm not even sure what the hell happened. You've been wonderful, and I feel so unappreciative. I acted like a child sulking because she wasn't the center of attention. If I could take it all back I would. I just snapped."
"Snapped?"
He looked so perplexed she almost laughed.
"Yeah, uh I sort of had seduction in mind last night and when you didn't show up yet again after work, I got pissed, then I got overly emotional, and then I convinced myself in a fit of self-pity that you weren't attracted to me any longer and were avoiding me like the plague."
His mouth dropped open, and his eyes gleamed with silent laughter.
"Don't you dare laugh," she muttered. "It all sounds perfectly ridiculous now, but at the time I was convinced I was about to be single again."
At that his amusement vanished. He touched the tip of his finger to her chin, his eyes boring holes through her.
"You aren't the only one who screwed up, Faith. Yeah, my intentions were good, but how were you supposed to know that? I shouldn't have tried to keep the house a secret, and I damn sure shouldn't have spent so many nights over there with no explanation. In hindsight I'm lucky you didn't think I was cheating on you. All I can say is that it ain't ever going to happen. You're it for me, baby. And I sure hope to hell I'm it for you."
She sighed and nuzzled her cheek against his hand. "You are it for me, Gray. I guess we can be stupid screwups together."
He found her lips, kissing lightly, then deeper. "I love you."
She smiled against his mouth. "I love you too. Forgive me?"
"Of course. Now, we need to talk about this other matter between us."
He raised the paper bag between them so that they both stared at it. You'd think a snake was hiding in it with the way they eyed it so cautiously.
"If... if you're pregnant, we can do this," he said. "No, it's not how we planned it, but it won't be the end of the world. We'll adjust, and we'll be damn good parents."
Her lips trembled and she stared into his eyes, drowning all over again in love.
"I can't believe I almost did this without you."
"Don't make a habit of it," he growled affectionately.
"You going to watch me pee on the stick?"
"How 'bout I stand over here and study the ceiling while you do the deed. Then we'll embark on the longest five minutes of our lives."
She chuckled, and he lowered her down to the floor then moved away from the toilet. He leaned back against the counter while she tore away the packaging and concentrated on the instructions.
"Think we'll look back on this day and laugh ten years down the road?" Gray asked.
She pursed her lips as she turned the plastic tube the right way and then looked back up at him. "What if I am pregnant? I wouldn't want our child to ever know we sat here and prayed he or she didn't exist."
"First of all, who says we'll say anything? Second, I'm sure if you are pregnant, then we'll spend parts of the next eighteen years and beyond wishing he or she didn't exist."
She laughed, feeling some of the tension escape with each burst. "Okay, don't talk to me for a minute. I don't pee well under pressure."
He chuckled but fell silent as she wiggled and maneuvered until her underwear was where it was supposed to go and the plastic was where it was supposed to go.
"How do you keep from peeing on your hand?" Gray asked.
She froze and looked up to see a bemused expression on his face. Then she burst out laughing.
"Wouldn't it be easier to pee in something else first? That just seems to be an awfully small target," he said doubtfully.
Her shoulders shook so bad that she couldn't keep the test in place.
"Leave it to a man to make perfect sense of a female issue," she muttered. "But then a man probably invented the damn thing to begin with."
"Want a cup?" he asked with a grin.
"Please?"
Laughing he left the bathroom and a moment later returned with a foam cup.
"Not that this is likely to keep any more pee off my hand," she said as she eyed it.
Gray dutifully remained silent while she administered the test. When she was finished, she laid it gently on the counter and the two of them stared at it like it would go off after the allotted time.
She blew out her breath, puffing her cheeks as the air whooshed out. "Okay, so now we wait."
"Come here," he said, holding out his arms.
She slid easily into his embrace, pressing against his muscled chest. Her fingers idly brushed over where she knew the scar lay under his shirt. A reminder of how close she came to losing him. She closed her eyes, willing those memories away.
"You know we'll handle this, no matter what," he said.
She nodded. And she did know. It wasn't as if either of them had anything against children. She just wanted . . . time. Time with Gray. Time to enjoy it being just the two of them. Later when they were comfortable in their relationship, comfortable with each other and some of the new and shiny had worn off, then they could think about children.
"Here's what I suggest," he said as he pulled her away from his chest. "I think we should go out and celebrate. Dinner, some good conversation and then come home and make love until we pass out. The only unknown is what we'll be celebrating, right?"
She leaned forward and linked her arms around his neck. "That sounds absolutely wonderful. Especially the part about making love until we drop. I've missed you, Gray. As much as I love surprises, I don't like them at the expense of you being away so much."
He kissed her nose and then her cheeks and finally her lips. By the time he nuzzled a path down her neck, she'd forgotten what it was they'd been talking about.
"I have plans for you tonight," he murmured.
A delicious thrill ran up her spine and exploded at her nape. She loved it when he got all mysterious and brooding and sexy.
Then she frowned. If she was pregnant, they'd have to curb some of their sexual activities, wouldn't they? Not that Gray would ever hurt her, but the lash of a crop, a belt, sometimes a flogger ... A dreamy sigh escaped her lips as she imagined him stroking her skin, raising red-hot heat across her body.
