We walked and walked after that, going on a confusing path through random small rooms, some stocked with scrubs, some with disused medical equipment, some empty but for plumbing and water heaters and the like. The goblin led the way, muttering to himself. I wanted to reiterate my castration threat, but I figured that continually repeating your intention to chop off someone’s goolies was a bit like crying wolf.
We passed only two other guards, and both times the goblin put a hand on our napes as if he were leading us, and said something about taking us up “the back way.” Which led to an absolutely laugh-a-minute series of anal-rape jokes from one particularly clever guard.
Can we castrate him, too? my libido whined, offended to its very core at the idea of using sex as a threat.
Yes, I soothed. Once Iris is free, I will bring back the troops and there can be castration for all.
My libido purred happily, while a small part of me did go ahead and wonder when I’d become so bloodthirsty.
You do realize you’re completely serious, that small part of my brain reminded me. I was too busy enjoying my libido’s rundown of possible emasculation techniques to care. In fact, I was so distracted that I nearly ran into the goblin when he suddenly stopped.
We were in a room that was empty except for gardening equipment. To my relief, I saw that the room had windows and a door that had obviously been bricked in.
“This door used to lead out to the far side of the garage, near the kitchen gardens. It’s the farthest possible exit from the main part of the house and our best chance of escape. But we’re going to have to blow it.”
“No problem.”
“Are you sure?”
I cocked my head at the door, then at him. “Yeah, it’s no problem. We can just use our shields like a battering ram… Back it up with our mojo. No sweat.”
“Yes, well, you are going to have to do that,” Avery said.
“Sorry?”
“You are going to have to do that. Such things are… beyond my skill.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. That’s not a normal skill, halfling. It takes a lot of power to solidify shields.”
“Umm… everybody that I know…”
“Everyone you know is a warrior of some sort. Investigators, soldiers, spies… the majority of us can’t do these things. I was useless until I discovered science and the Healer discovered me.”
I thought about what the goblin was saying. It had always seemed to me that everyone was so powerful, compared to me. But then I really examined my memories. Yes, it was true that Ryu, his deputies, Nell, and the like were all very strong. And when the nagas had attacked at the Compound all those many months ago, there had been a lot of fighting and a lot of beings had joined in the fray with gusto. But a lot had run around looking scared, and quite a few had also died that night.
And that would explain why people keep saying you’re strong. That thought hit me like a hammer. I’d heard various beings, including Anyan, mention the fact I had a lot of power. But I’d never believed them, partly because I was always comparing myself to supes like the barghest and Ryu.
I’d always thought those creatures like Iris, who I knew was relatively weak, were the exception. The idea that she, and her abilities, were the norm floored me.
I am wicked hard-core, I thought. Or something.
“Um, all right,” I said. “If you can just step back… And I’ll be throwing around a lot of force. Can you shield yourself? And Iris?”
The goblin nodded. “That much I’m capable of,” he said drily. He moved Iris away from me, causing her to whimper and reach out. I smiled at my friend, trying to look as reassuring as possible.
“It’s okay, Iris. I’m going to blast through this door so we can escape. The goblin will shield you. It’ll just take a second.”
I waited till they were out of the way, and defended, before reaching. For a second nothing happened, and I thought I was, indeed, gonna do some castratin’ before the day was through. But then it was like a dam burst and my power flooded through me, sharp and eager from being contained for so long.
I had one false start, where I hit the bricked-in door and it merely buckled.
“Oops,” I said sheepishly, and I tried again. This time I not only blew the bricks out of the doorway, but I took a bit of the doorframe as well.
I smiled at my handiwork before I walked forward—mage ball in hand and shields up—to peer out my impromptu exit and into the dusk.
“Coast is clear,” I called after a minute. “Let’s head oooooooouuuuaaah!”
My words trailed off and ended in a shout as there was a tremendous blast that rocked the foundations of the house.
The cavalry has arrived, I thought as a heady cocktail of fear, pride, and excitement washed through me. I was proud of my friends for finding me, and excited they were rescuing us (even if I was already taking care of that myself ), but terrified of what Anyan was going to do when he saw me.
Maybe a spanking? my libido volunteered unhelpfully.
“Okay, let’s get out of here,” I started to say, right as the door we’d barred behind us flung open, a guard powering through on a wave of magic and adrenaline.
And then he was down, taken out by the mage ball I sent zinging at his face. He was shielded at the back, not expecting an attack from the front.
As he fell, he was trampled by a small cluster of guards that stampeded through after him. They took one look at me, another mage ball ready to fly, and they all fell, quivering, to the floor.
“Don’t kill me!” one guard shouted.
“Call off your Alfar!” another cried.
The other two just whimpered.
“Um, yes!” I said. “Stay there! Or I will… summon my Alfar!”
My Alfar? I thought. How the fuck did we get a… Moo! I realized suddenly. The halflings of Tryptich had come to rescue me. I nearly started dancing at that idea, but I didn’t think it would be too intimidating to the men at my feet if their captor started gamboling about like an idiot.
I kept my own mage balls at the ready, prepared to remove the cock-’n’-balls off any male that moved a muscle. We listened, all together, as another series of blasts rocked the mansion, followed by all sorts of unpleasant screams and noises. Eventually, there was trampling from the room above us, and the sound of fighting, as every corner of the mansion was cleaned of filth.
It was like hearing the Liberty Bell strike when voices came shouting from inside the basement. There were a few angry screams from guards who were quickly silenced, and then the sound of footsteps coming slow but steady through the rabbit warren of rooms before us.
“Hello?” I shouted. “We’re here!”
And then I saw him.
Anyan, I thought, my whole being trembling at the sight of his big body. He was striding forward, one large hand cupping a mage ball, the other holding an assault rifle. Then he saw me, too. The mage ball disappeared, the rifle was passed behind him, to Capitola. As for the expression on his face…
Dude, he looks pissed…
The rest of that thought was cut off as the barghest practically flew into the room, grabbed my elbow, and started to haul me out of the gap I’d made in the wall. I protested, needing to stay with Iris, till I saw Capitola take her in hand. Wrapping a long arm around my friend, the only other person I would have trusted with Iris’s safety besides myself or Anyan called for a medic and led Iris to sit down on an overturned bucket. Knowing my friend was in good hands, I let myself be dragged.
“Um, Anyan,” I said, trying to catch his attention as he pulled me forward. It was almost fully evening now and I was stumbling in the dark, but he just kept dragging me toward a shed on the outskirts of the little garden.
He is going to spank us, my libido purred.
Or kill us, you idiot, came my virtue’s dry rejoinder.
“Anyan, can we please talk about…”
“No,” he growled, hauling me about to face him. We were behind the shed now, hidden from view, although I could still hear an occasional random explosion from behind us.
“Fuck you, Jane! Do you have any idea what you put me through? What the fuck were you thinking?” Shocked, I stared at the barghest’s red, angry face. His hands were clamped on my forearms as he shook me roughly and randomly. His grip hurt, but not as much as the look of fury on his face.
He’s really yelling at me, I thought, suddenly scared.
“Were you even thinking? At all? About anyone besides yourself? What would I have told your father if you’d died! What would I have done, Jane? What would I have done!”
Between Anyan shouting, his mention of my father, and hearing the slightest hitch in his voice when he said that second “What would I have done,” I did what any self-respecting warrior woman did after getting kidnapped, rescuing herself and her friend, and single-handedly capturing her first coterie of bad guys.
I started crying.
Hard.
With that, Anyan stopped yelling. Then, to my surprise, he dropped to his knees in front of me. Wrapping his arms around my hips, he drew me forward to bury his head in my breasts. But there was nothing sexual in the gesture; it was simply one of comfort. After a shocked few seconds, I realized he was reassuring himself as much as, or more than, he was me.
