“Kacey, I was wrong.”
I swallow. “About?”
“About pushing you like I did. I thought if you opened up about your past, I could somehow fix it for you. I shouldn’t have kept pushing you like that.” I suck in a gasp as I feel a set of warm lips trail my belly. He knows that’ll melt my defenses. He’s not playing fair. Worse, in this moment I don’t want him to play any other way. “I should have just focused on making you happy. And I will. From now on, Kacey. I will. I will devote every day for the rest of our lives to making you happy. I promise.”
Will not buy it. Will not buy it. “You’ve said that before. And then you vanished.” I don’t like the way my tone falters, like I’m about to cry. One … two … three… four…
Fuck. Useless.
He leans back on his heels and his hands slide down my thighs again. He doesn’t meet my eyes though, choosing instead to stare at the floor between us. When he speaks, his jaw is set with a hint of anger. “Kacey, you’re not the only one with issues. I’m f**ked up, okay? There are things about my past that I don’t know how to tell you. That I can’t tell you.”
His admission catches me off guard. Trent with a dark past? I’ve never once even contemplated that. Why have I not contemplated that? I’ve been so wrapped up in my own issues that I haven’t even thought of his, that’s why. But how dark could anything from his past really be? With a shaky finger, I reach out and gently push his chin up so his head tilts back, so those beautiful blue irises can pull me in. He seems so level-headed, so well-adjusted, so perfect.
“I’ve never once pushed you to divulge your skeletons,” I say, my tone softer, without bitterness.
“I know. I know, Kace.” Trent’s grip on my thighs tightens as he draws me closer to him. His fingertips slide up to grasp my hips in their entirety, his thumbs sliding along my pelvic bone, lighting a tiny spark of need mixed among these emotional flames already burning bright. My hands instinctively slide down to cover his.
He continues. “After that night, I … I thought I pushed you too hard. I thought I caused what happened the night Storm was attacked.”
I shudder with the reminder. My dark side. My murderous side. “You didn’t cause that, Trent. That was me, finally coming unhinged.”
“I know, babe. I know that now. But I had to get away and think. I had to walk away for a while and—”
“You could have sent me a message.”
“I know. I f**ked up. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to explain why I ran off. I was scared.” One look up shows me the tears welling in his eyes. All my rage extinguishes, all my defenses shatter.
I can’t handle seeing Trent like this.
“No, it’s okay.” My hand strokes the back of his head with nothing but compassion while my other one wipes the tear away. Who is this person talking? She’s not the one who ran around the apartment on a tirade, stalking the news, and ready to mutilate Ken dolls.
“I’m so sorry, Kacey. I’ll stop pushing you. No more talk of past. None. Just the future. Please? I need you.”
Again, that need word. I can’t even speak. I only nod.
But that’s enough for Trent. Strong fingers flexed at my hips tug me down. I willingly drop to my knees. Trent pulls me to him so our bodies hold tight against each other. Warm hands find their way across my bare back to unclasp my bra. He casts it aside and reaches forward to cup my br**sts at the same time that his mouth finally finds mine.
The feel of his lips sends a wave of irrepressible hunger through my body in a shudder. Three weeks without this. I don’t know how I survived. I reach down and fumble with his shirt. I want it off. Now. I want my bare skin against his. Now.
As if sensing the urgency, he breaks from my mouth long enough to yank his shirt off over his head and then dives back in, his chest pressing against mine as I slide close to him. “Kace,” he whispers, his lips shifting greedily to my neck as one hand moves up my inner thigh to slip under my panties. I gasp as his deft fingers touch me. “I’m never letting you go again. Never.”
My heart races as I rock back and forth against his hand, as I whisper his name, as I fumble with his zipper, letting the last three weeks disappear into the well of the past.
Chapter Sixteen
“Did I do that?” I frown as my finger touches the side of Trent’s face where a red welt has formed.
He winces. “Livie’s got a mean left hook.”
“Seriously?” I prop myself up to get a better look at it. And at Trent, in general. At his entire naked body, lying on the carpeted floor of the dimly lit V.I.P. room. I don’t hear the steady pulse of music in the club anymore. That must mean the place is closing up. I don’t know how long we’ve been in here. Ben hasn’t bothered us though. Not that I noticed anyway.
Trent starts to speak and stalls several times. “When you left your place with that goon, Livie stormed out and chased me around the commons, screaming at me that I broke your heart. Then she hauled back and punched me, and told me I better go and make you happy again. Forever.”
My head flops down on Trent’s bare chest as I laugh. “I think my temper may finally be rubbing off on her.” I replay her words in my head as I nuzzle against Trent, inhaling his scent. “Forever’s a long time.”
Trent’s arms squeeze around me. “Forever’s not long enough when it’s with you.”
“Do you think if I go out there right now, Livie will hit me again?”
“Anything’s possible. But I do feel pretty happy right about now,” I murmur, stretched out in bed.
Trent’s arms extend back to cradle his head, a cocky grin curving his lips. “I sure hope so. I tried my best. Five times last night, I think? If that didn’t fix you …”
I lift myself up and throw one leg over his body to straddle him, arching my brow. “Oh, you fixed me last night. Today’s a different story.”
Hungry eyes graze the length of my body and then settle on my face with one raised brow. “Seriously?”
I shrug and then wink secretively.
He chuckles as his hands push through his hair, sending it into wilder disarray. “I’ve heard redheads were crazy, but man, no one warned me that you were sex fiends.”
I playfully flick his nose. With a roar, he rolls and pins me down on my back, holding himself up to linger over me, high enough to give me ample view of his entirety. With a wry smile, I throw my legs around his waist and pull him down to meet me.
The weeks fly by, and Trent stays. He stays in our apartment most nights now. He’s usually at the club late in the evening, sitting and watching me quietly with that intense, teasing stare that makes my knees buckle because I know what’s waiting for me when I get home. He stays, and he makes me happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. In many ways, happier than I’ve ever been. He makes me laugh. He makes me giggle. He makes me feel again. And each night, he takes my nightmares away. Not all of them. But they’re not on daily repeat anymore. And when I do wake up, drenched in sweat and gasping for air, Trent’s there to hold me, and stroke my hair, to promise me that it’s over, and what he and I have is real.
Each day, tiny pieces of Before Kacey fall into place. Or maybe come out from hiding. Maybe Kacey Cleary has been buried somewhere deep inside all this time, just waiting for the right person to pull her from the deep, dark waters.
