His words were like knives stabbing her again and again. She didn’t know how it was possible to still be standing there. She pressed her hand against her heart, pressing in. The pain was so deep; it felt as if there was a gaping hole in her chest. She really thought her heart may explode from the intensity of the pain coursing through her.
“I understand Alex but then I can no longer stay married to you. You are an amazing father and I would never keep Jacob from you again. We’ll have to work out all the details but I just can’t do this. I’m so sorry.” She turned and walked from the room. She was choking on the sobs that wanted to rip from her body but she managed somehow to hold them back.
Jessica didn’t know how she arrived in the bedroom she’d shared with Alex for almost a year. Their nights had been amazing. That was the only time he’d completely let down his guard. When he’d looked into her eyes, she’d convinced herself it was love shining through their blue depths.
She turned away from the bed. She couldn’t look at it. She walked across the hall and checked in on Jacob. He was sound asleep in his crib and looked so peaceful. He’d grown so much his first year of life. She was amazed how beautiful he was.
She loved how much he resembled his father. She rubbed his small, mostly bald head. He didn’t wake up. He was content in his crib. She wouldn’t disturb him right then. She would pick him up the next day.
She knocked on Julia’s door and it was quickly answered. “Hi Jessica, is everything okay?” she asked with real concern. Obviously, Jessica thought, she wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding her emotions.
“Everything is fine. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be gone this evening. You have my number if Jacob wakes and there are any problems.”
“I’m sure things will be fine. Are you sure you’re okay?” Julia asked again.
“Yes, thanks, I will see you in the morning.” With that Jessica turned and walked back into her bedroom. There was no way she could sleep there that night. She would go find a hotel room and then look for something more permanent the next day. Her son would be fine overnight. She would make sure she was back before he woke up. She packed an overnight bag and slipped out of the house.
As she climbed into her car she had to wait a few moments because she was crying so hard she couldn’t see to drive properly. When she finally pulled herself together and her vision cleared she turned away from the house. She watched it in her rearview mirror until the trees blocked her view.
Leaving was about the hardest thing she’d ever done. The further she got from the house, the more she was regretting the decision. She loved Alex so much and leaving him was even more painful than staying with him, even without his love.
She decided to turn around and head back towards the house, when her car was suddenly filled with bright lights. “What...” she began to say aloud, when there was a huge crashing sound and she blacked out.
Alex sat as his desk with his head in his hands. He was already regretting his words to Jessica. The longer he thought the more he realized she wasn’t demanding anything of him that he didn’t have to give.
All thoughts of work were gone. He was thinking back to his time with Jessica. He couldn’t wait to walk in the door each evening to see her. He noticed throughout his days, he would continually check the time, counting down the hours until he could return home. He’d done far more work from home, than he’d ever done in the past. Anything that didn’t require him to be in the office was done from home.
He was also delegating far more work than he’d ever done in the past. He just wanted to spend time with his son and his wife. Work was no longer the top priority to him it used to be.
Their nights were unlike anything else he’d ever known. She was always eager to fall into his arms. She was the most beautiful creature he’d ever known. He could picture her pregnant with many more of his children. He couldn’t picture his life without her.
His heart seemed to grow too full for his chest, as the realization hit him. He did love her. “I love her,” he mumbled out loud, just to hear how it sounded and to know how it felt to say it. He felt his mouth lift up in a grin. He loved her. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops.
He knew he’d sat there to long but he needed to get control over his own emotions. He finally got up to go talk to Jessica. He hated the pain he’d caused her. He couldn’t believe he’d just sat there as the tears rolled down her cheeks and the pain flashed in her eyes. Well that would never happen again. He would make up for that and so much more.
He walked up to their bedroom and there was no sign of her. He went searching throughout the rest of the house, with no signs. He started to worry. He walked back to his son’s room and found Julia in there. “Do you know where Jessica is?” he asked.
“I thought you had both gone out. She came in about an hour ago, saying she would be out for the night,” she replied. Her eyes then narrowed slightly, as she looked at him. “She looked like something was really bothering her, although she was doing her best to cover it up,” she finished accusingly.
Alex headed over to his room, planning on calling her phone. His extension rang before he had a chance to make the call. He picked up on the first ring, “hello.”
“Is this Alex Anderson?” the stranger’s voice asked.
“Yes, can I help you?”
“Sir, your wife has been in an auto accident. She’s at the Mercy West Hospital in surgery and you are listed as her emergency contact,” the stranger said with sympathy.
Alex dropped the phone without another word and ran for the door. He shouted out for Tina to notify his and Jessica’s families and then raced to his car. He couldn’t lose her. Please God, he prayed, don’t take her from me.
Alex made it to the hospital in record time. He couldn’t even remember the drive. One moment he hopped into his car and the next he was rushing in the emergency entrance doors. “I’m looking for my wife, Jessica Anderson!” He was practically shouting at the poor receptionist.
“One moment sir,” the efficient nurse looked at her computer for what seemed like hours. “She arrived about an hour ago and is still in surgery. I need you to fill out these papers please,” she requested, as she pulled out a packet of paperwork.
“To hell with the paperwork, I want to know what’s happening with my wife!” He shouted at the woman.
“Sir, I understand you’re upset right now but the doctor will be out shortly to inform you of your wife’s condition. We really do need these papers filled out,” she tried once again.
Alex was about to grab this insufferable woman by her shirt lapels and demand to be taken to Jessica, when a hand clasped his shoulder. “Come on son, let’s fill out this paperwork and wait to hear from the doctor.” Alex’s shoulders slumped in defeat. His father was there and he was right.
“Okay Dad,” he conceded in defeat.
“I know you’re worried, boy. We all are but your family is here now and we’ll wait together. Jessica is strong and I know she will pull through this.” Alex thanked God to have his family there with him. He couldn’t sit in the waiting room and maintain his composure without them.
A few minutes later his brothers, Lucas and Mark were there with him and then Jessica’s father, John. No one did any talking. They were there to be a support system. Lucas’s wife Amy came in with coffee and food for everyone and wrapped Alex in a hug. “It will all be okay. She’s strong,” she said, then kissed his cheek, before heading over to sit with her husband.
“Son, let’s take a walk,” Joseph said and lead Alex from the room.
“What if the doctor comes in, Dad?” Alex asked in a panic.
“We won’t go far and trust me, if the doctor does come in one of your brothers will get you right away,” Joseph reassured him.
“Okay,” Alex said, realizing he really did need some air to clear his head.
“Is everything going okay for you and Jessica?” Joseph asked. He was never one to mince words and got right to the heart of the matter.
“I haven’t been a great husband,” Alex said, fighting hard to hold back a sob. “She told me she loved me and I just freaked a bit. I was so afraid if I admitted to her how much I cared about her she would end up being disappointed in me and walking away. I’ve been a fool,” he finished.
“Well admitting that is the first step,” Joseph said with a small chuckle.
Alex didn’t find humor in his father’s words. “I do love her,” he finally said.
“Have you told her that?” his dad asked.
“I was going too but we kind of had a fight and that’s why she was out driving. This is all my fault and if anything has happened to her, I will never be able to forgive myself,” Alex whispered.
“She’ll be okay Alex and you’ll have the rest of your life to reassure her how much you truly love her. When two people are meant to be together, nothing can stop them except their own bullheadedness. I’m glad to see you waking up,” Joseph slightly lectured.
“Thanks Dad. I wonder where that stubbornness came from,” Alex added.
“Ah boy, your mamma has had to kick me in the butt a few times and I sure deserved it but you know I would walk on fire for that woman.”
“I didn’t think it was possible to have a love as great as yours and mom’s but now I know how wrong I have been. Knowing Jessica is hurt and not being able to do anything about it is like ripping a piece of my soul away from me. I need to make her better,” Alex pleaded.
“You’ve sure grown into a fine young man. You know I’m always here for you and we’ll get through this. Families always stick together. There’s no way Jessica will leave her son behind so have faith, say a lot of prayers and know everything will work out.”
“Thanks dad. I’ll feel better once the doctor lets me see her,” Alex said, glancing through the doors, into the waiting room.
“Let’s head back inside,” Joseph said and they walked back towards the family.
Alex paced the room for what seemed like the hundredth time when a doctor walked through the doors. The man headed towards the large group. “Alex Anderson?” he questioned.
“That’s me,” Alex answered quickly.
“Your wife is out of surgery. She’s in stable condition but the next twenty-four hours are critical. She’s in a coma right now but we have every confidence she’ll wake within the next few days. Her collar was broken and she had a large cut on her left leg. We’ve fixed both those things. Her head was hit pretty hard and that’s our main concern right now. We had to relieve the pressure built up and will have to keep an eye on her.” The doctor finally stopped speaking.
Alex stood digesting the words the doctor was saying to him feeling like he was being slapped. He was so worried about Jessica. “Can I please see her?” It took all of Alex’s control not to grab the doctor and demand to be taken to his wife. He wasn’t normally a man who would ask.
