ONE
What happened was lethally simple: Roland's bad hip betrayed him. He went to his knees with a cry of mingled rage, pain, and dismay. Then the sunlight was blotted out as Jake leaped over him without so much as breaking stride. Oy was barking crazily from the cab of the truck: "Ake-Ake! Ake-Ake!"
"Jake, no!"Roland shouted. He saw it all with a terrible clarity.
The boy seized the writer around the waist as the blue vehicle-neither a truck nor a car but seemingly a cross between the two-bore down upon them in a roar of dissonant music.
Jake turned King to the left, shielding him widi his body, and so it was Jake the vehicle struck. Behind the gunslinger, who was now on his knees with his bleeding hands buried in the dirt, the woman from the store screamed.
"JAKE, NO!"Roland bellowed again, but it was too late. The boy he thought of as his son disappeared beneath the blue vehicle. The gunslinger saw one small upraised hand-would never forget it-and then that was gone, too. King, struck first by Jake and then by the weight of the van behind Jake, was thrown to the edge of the little grove of trees, ten feet from the point of impact. He landed on his right side, hitting his head on a stone hard enough to send the cap flying from his head.
Then he rolled over, perhaps intending to try for his feet. Or perhaps intending nothing at all; his eyes were shocked zeroes.
The driver hauled on his vehicle's steering wheel and it slipped past on Roland's left, missing him by inches, merely throwing dust into his face instead of running him down. By then it was slowing, the driver perhaps applying the machine's brake now that it was too late. The side squalled across the hood of the pickup truck, slowing the van further, but it was not done doing damage even so. Before coming to a complete stop it struck King again, this time as he lay on the ground.
Roland heard the snap of a breaking bone. It was followed by the writer's cry of pain. And now Roland knew for sure about the pain in his own hip, didn't he? It had never been dry twist at all.
He scrambled to his feet, only peripherally aware that his pain was entirely gone. He looked at Stephen King's unnaturally twisted body beneath the left front wheel of the blue vehicle and thought Good! with unthinking savagery. Good! If someone has to die here, let it be you! To hell with Gan 's navel, to hell with the stories that come out of it, to hell with the Tower, let it be you and not my boy!
The bumbler raced past Roland to where Jake lay on his back at the rear of the van with blue exhaust blowing into his open eyes. Oy did not hesitate; he seized the Oriza pouch that was still slung over Jake's shoulder and used it to pull the boy away from the van, doing it inch by inch, his short strong legs digging up puffs of dust. Blood was pouring from Jake's ears and the corners of his mouth. The heels of his shor'boots left a double line of tracks in the dirt and crisp brown pine needles.
Roland staggered to Jake and fell on his knees beside him.
His first thought was that Jake was all right after all. The boy's limbs were straight, thank all the gods, and the mark running across the bridge of his nose and down one beardless cheek was oil flecked with rust, not blood as Roland had first assumed.
There was blood coming out of his ears, yes, and his mouth, too, but die latter stream might only be flowing from a cut in the lining of his cheek, or-
"Go and see to the writer," Jake said. His voice was calm, not at all constricted by pain. They might have been sitting around a little cookfire after a day on the trail, waiting for what Eddie liked to call vittles... or, if he happened to be feeling particularly humorous (as he often was), "wittles."
"The writer can wait," Roland said curdy, thinking: I've been given a miracle. One made by the combination of a boy's yielding, not-quite-finished body, and the soft earth that gave beneath him when that bastard's truckomobile ran over him.
"No," Jake said. "He can't." And when he moved, trying to sit up, his shirt pulled a little tighter against the top half of his body and Roland saw the dreadful concavity of the boy's chest. More blood poured from Jake's mouth, and when he tried to speak again he began to cough, instead. Roland's heart seemed to twist like a rag inside his chest, and there was a moment to wonder how it could possibly go on beating in the face of this.
Oy voiced a moaning cry, Jake's name expressed in a halfhowl that made Roland's arms burst out in gooseflesh.
"Don't try to talk," Roland said. "Something may be sprung inside of you. A rib, mayhap two."
Jake turned his head to the side. He spat out a mouthful of blood-some of it ran down his cheek like chewing tobacco-and took a hold on Roland's wrist. His grip was strong; so was his voice, each word clear.
"Everything's sprung. This is dying-I know because I've done it before." What he said next was what Roland had been thinking just before they started out from Cara Laughs: "If ka will say so, let it be so. See to the man we came to save!"
It was impossible to deny the imperative in the boy's eyes and voice. It was done, now, the Ka of Nineteen played out to the end. Except, perhaps, for King. The man they had come to save. How much of their fate had danced from the tips of his flying, tobacco-stained fingers? All? Some? This?
Whatever the answer, Roland could have killed him with his bare hands as he lay pinned beneath the machine that had struck him, and never mind that King hadn't been driving the van; if he had been doing what ka had meant him to be doing, he never would have been here when the fool came calling, and Jake's chest wouldn't have that terrible sunken look. It was too much, coming so soon after Eddie had been bushwhacked.
And yet-
"Don't move," he said, getting up. "Oy, don't lethim move."
"I won't move." Every word still clear, still sure. But now Roland could see blood also darkening the bottom of Jake's shirt and the crotch of his jeans, blooming there like roses.
Once before he died and had come back. But not from this world. In this one, death was always for keeps.
Roland turned to where the writer lay.
TWO
When Bryan Smith tried to get out from behind the wheel of his van, Irene Tassenbaum pushed him rudely back in. His dogs, perhaps smelling blood or Oy or both, were barking and capering wildly behind him. Now the radio was pounding out some new and utterly hellish heavy metal tune. She thought her head would split, not from the shock of what had just happened but from pure racket. She saw the man's revolver lying on the ground and picked it up. The small part of her mind still capable of coherent thought was amazed by the weight of the tiling.
Nevertheless, she pointed it at the man, then reached past him and punched the power button on the radio. With the blaring fuzz-tone guitars gone, she could hear birds as well as two barking dogs and one howling... well, one howling whateveriit-was.
"Back your van off the guy you hit," she said. "Slowly. And if you run over the kid again when you do it, I swear I'll blow your jackass head off."
Bryan Smith stared at her with bloodshot, bewildered eyes.
"What kid?" he asked.
THREE
When the van's front wheel rolled slowly off the writer, Roland saw that his lower body was twisted unnaturally to the right and a lump pushed out the leg of his jeans on that side. His thighbone, surely. In addition, his forehead had been split by the rock against which it had fetched up, and the right side of his face was drowned in blood. He looked worse than Jake, worse by far, but a single glance was enough to tell the gunslinger that if his heart was strong and the shock didn't kill him, he'd probably live through this. Again he saw Jake seizing the man about the waist, shielding him, taking the impact with his own smaller body. f
"You again," King said in a low voice.
"You remember me."
"Yes. Now." King licked his lips. "Thirsty."
Roland had nothing to drink, and wouldn't have given more than enough to wet King's lips even if he had. Liquid could induce vomiting in a wounded man, and vomiting could lead to choking. "Sorry," he said.
"No. You're not." He licked his lips again. "Jake?"
"Over there, on the ground. You know him?"
King tried to smile. "Wrote him. Where's the one that was with you before? Where's Eddie?"
"Dead," Roland said. "In the Devar-Toi."
"King frowned. "Devar...? I don't know that."
"No. That's why we're here. Why we had to come here.
One of my friends is dead, another may be dying, and the tet is broken. All because one lazy, fearful man stopped doing the job for which ka intended him."
No traffic on the road. Except for the barking dogs, the howling bumbler, and the chirping birds, the world was silent.
They might have been frozen in time. Perhaps we are, Roland thought. He had now seen enough to believe that might be possible.
Anything might be possible.
"I lost the Beam," King said from where he lay on the carpet of needles at the edge of the trees. The light of early summer streamed all around him, that haze of green and gold.
Roland reached under King and helped him to sit up. The writer cried ovxt in pain as the swollen ball of his right hip grated in the shattered, compressed remains of its socket, but he did not protest. Roland pointed into the sky. Fat white fairweather clouds-los dngeles, the cowpokes of Mejis had called them-hung motionless in the blue, except for those directly above them. There they hied rapidly across the sky, as if blown by a narrow wind.
"There!" Roland whispered furiously into the writer's scraped, dirt-clogged ear. "Directly above you! All around you!
Does thee not feel it? Does thee not see it?"
"Yes," King said. "I see it now."
"Aye, and 'twas always there. You didn't lose it, you turned your coward's eye away. My friend had to save you for you to see it again."
Roland's left hand fumbled in his belt and brought out a shell. At first his fingers wouldn't do their old, dexterous trick; they were trembling too badly. He was only able to still them by reminding himself that the longer it took him to do this, the greater the chance that they would be interrupted, or that Jake would die while he was busy with this miserable excuse for a man.
He looked up and saw the woman holding his gun on the driver of the van. That was good. She was good: why hadn't Gan given the story of the Tower to someone like her? In any case, his instinct to keep her with them had been true. Even the infernal racket of dogs and bumbler had quieted. Oy was licking the dirt and oil from Jake's face, while in the van, Pistol and Bullet were gobbling up the hamburger, this time without interference from their master.
Roland turned back to King, and the shell did its old sure dance across the backs of his fingers. King went under almost immediately, as most people did when they'd been hypnotized before. His eyes were still open, but now they seemed to look through the gunslinger, beyond him.
Roland's heart screamed at him to get through this as quickly as he could, but his head knew better. You must not botch it. Not unless you want to render Jake's sacrifice worthless.
The woman was looking at him, and so was the van's driver as he sat in the open door of his vehicle. Sai Tassenbaum was fighting it, Roland saw, but Bryan Smith had followed King into the land of sleep. This didn't surprise the gunslinger much. If the man had the slightest inkling of what he'd done here, he'd be apt to seize any opportunity for escape. Even a temporary one.
The gunslinger turned his attention back to the man who was, he supposed, his biographer. He started just as he had before. Days ago in his own life. Over two decades ago in the writer's.
"Stephen King, do you see me?"
"Gunslinger, I see you very well."
"When did you last see me?"
"When we lived in Bridgton. When my tet was young. When I was just learning how to write." A pause, and then he gave what Roland supposed was, for him, the most important way of marking time, a thing that was different for every man: "When I was still drinking."
"Are you deep asleep now?"
"Deep."
"Are you under the pain?"
"Under it, yes. I thank you."
The billy-bumbler howled again. Roland looked around, terribly afraid of what it might signify. The woman had gone to Jake and was kneeling beside him. Roland was relieved to see Jake put an arm around her neck and draw her head down so he could speak into her ear. If he was strong enough to do that-
Stop it! You saw the changed shape of him under his shirt. You can't afford to waste time on hope.
There was a cruel paradox here: because he loved Jake, he had to leave the business of Jake's dying to Oy and a woman they had met less than an hour ago.
Never mind. His business now was with King. Should Jake pass into the clearing while his back was turned... ifka will say so, let it be so.
Roland summoned his will and concentration. He focused them to a burning point, then turned his attention to the writer once more. "Are you Gan?" he asked abruptly, not knowing why this question came to him-only that it was the right question.
"No," King said at once. Blood ran into his mouth from the cut on his head and he spat it out, never blinking. "Once I thought I was, but that was just the booze. And pride, I suppose.
No writer is Gan-no painter, no sculptor, no maker of music.
We are kas-ka Gan. Not ka-Gan but kas-ka. Gan. Do you understand?
Do you... do you ken?"
"Yes," Roland said. The prophets of Gan or the singers of Gan: it could signify either or both. And now he knew why he had asked. "And the song you sing is Ves -Ka Gan. Isn't it?"
"Oh, yesl" King said, and smiled. "The Song of the Turde. It's far too lovely for the likes of me, who can hardly carry a tune!"
"I don't care," Roland said. He thought as hard and as clearly as his dazed mind would allow. "And now you've been hurt."
"Am I paralyzed?"
"I don't know." Nor care. "All I know is that you'll live, and when you can write again, you'll listen for the Song of the Turtle,
Ves'-Ka Gan, as you did before. Paralyzed or not. And this time you'll sing until the song is done."
"All right."
"You'll-"
"And Urs-Ka Gan, the Song of the Bear," King interrupted him. Then he shook his head, although this clearly hurt him despite the hypnotic state he was in. "Urs-A-Ka Gan."
The Cry of die Bear? The Scream of the Bear? Roland didn't know which. He would have to hope it didn't matter, that it was no more than a writer's quibble.
A car hauling a motor home went past the scene of die accident without slowing, then a pair of large motor-bicycles sped by heading the other way. And an oddly persuasive thought came to Roland: time hadn't stopped, but they were, for the time being, dim. Being protected in that fashion by the Beam, which was no longer under attack and thus able to help, at least a litde.
FOUR
Tell him again. There must be no misunderstanding. And no weakening, as he weakened before.
He bent down until his face was before King's face, their noses nearly touching. "This time you'll sing until the song is done, write until the tale is done. Do you truly ken?"
"'And they lived happily ever after until the end of their days,'" King said dreamily. "I wish I could write that."
"So do I." And he did, more than anything. Despite his sorrow, there were no tears yet; his eyes felt like hot stones in his head. Perhaps the tears would come later, when the truth of what had happened here had a chance to sink in a litde.
"I'll do as you say, gunslinger. No matter how the tale falls when the pages grow thin." King's voice was itself growing thin. Roland thought he would soon fall into unconsciousness.
"I'm sorry for your friends, truly I am."
"Thank you," Roland said, still restraining the urge to put his hands around the writer's neck and choke the life out of him.
He started to stand, but King said something that stopped him.
"Did yovi listen for her song, as I told you to do? For the Song of Susannah?"
"I... yes."
Now King forced himself up on one elbow, and although his strength was clearly failing, his voice was dry and strong. "She needs you. And you need her. Leave me alone now. Save your hate for those who deserve it more. I didn't make your ka any more than I made Gan or the world, and we both know it. Put your foolishness behind you-and your grief-and do as you'd have me do." King's voice rose to a rough shout; his hand shot out and gripped Roland's wrist with amazing strength. "Finish the job!"
At first nothing came out when Roland tried to reply. He had to clear his throat and start again. "Sleep, sai-sleep and forget everyone here except the man who hit you."
King's eyes slipped closed. "Forget everyone here except the man who hit me."
"You were taking your walk and this man hit you."
"Walking... and this man hit me."
"No one else was here. Not me, not Jake, not the woman."
"No one else," King agreed. "Just me and him. Will he say the same?"
"Yar. Very soon you'll sleep deep. You may feel pain later, but you feel none now."
"No pain now. Sleep deep." King's twisted frame relaxed on the pine needles.
"Yet before you sleep, listen to me once more," Roland said.
"I'm listening."
"A woman may come to y-wait. Do'ee dream of love with men?"
"Are you asking if I'm gay? Maybe a latent homosexual?"
King sounded weary but amused.
"I don't know." Roland paused. "I think so."
"The answer is no," King said. "Sometimes I dream of love with women. A litde less now that I'm older... and probably not at all for awhile, now. That fucking guy really beat me up."
Not near so bad as he beat up mine, Roland thought bitterly, but he didn't say this.
"IFee dream only of love with women, it's a woman that may come to you."
"Do you say so?" King sounded faintly interested.
"Yes. If she comes, she'll be fair. She may speak to you about the ease and pleasure of the clearing. She may call herself Morphia, Daughter of Sleep, or Selena, Daughter of the Moon. She may offer you her arm and promise to take you there. You must refuse."
"I must refuse."
"Even if you are tempted by her eyes and breasts."
"Even then," King agreed.
"Why will you refuse, sai?"
"Because the Song isn't done."
At last Roland was satisfied. Mrs. Tassenbaum was kneeling by Jake. The gunslinger ignored both her and the boy and went to the man sitting slumped behind the wheel of the motor-carriage that had done all the damage. This man's eyes were wide and blank, his mouth slack. A line of drool hung from his beard-stubbly chin.
"Do you hear me, sai?"
The man nodded fearfully. Behind him, both dogs had grown silent. Four bright eyes regarded the gunslinger from between the seats.
"What's your name?"
"Bryan, do it please you-Bryan Smith."
No, it didn't please him at all. Here was yet one more he'd like to strangle. Another car passed on the road, and this time the person behind the wheel honked the horn as he or she passed. Whatever their protection might be, it had begun to grow thin.
"Sai Smith, you hit a man with your car or truckomobile or whatever it is thee calls it."
Bryan Smith began to tremble all over. "I ain't never had so much as a parking ticket," he whined, "and I have to go and run into the most famous man in the state! My dogs 'us fightin-"
"Your lies don't anger me," Roland said, "but the fear which brings them forth does. Shut thy mouth."
Bryan Smith did as told. The color was draining slowly but steadily from his face.
"You were alone when you hit him," Roland said. "No one here but you and the storyteller. Do you understand?"
"I was alone. Mister, are you a walk-in?"
"Never mind what I am. You checked him and saw that he was still alive."
"Still alive, good," Smith said. "I didn't mean to hurt nobody, honest."
"He spoke to you. That's how you knew he was alive."
"Yes!" Smith smiled. Then he frowned. "What'd he say?"
"You don't remember. You were excited and scared."
"Scared and excited. Excited and scared. Yes I was."
"You drive now. As you drive, you'll wake up, little by little.
And when you get to a house or a store, you'll stop and say there's a man hurt down the road. A man who needs help. Tell it back, and be true."
"Drive," he said. His hands caressed the steering wheel as if he longed to be gone immediately. Roland supposed he did.
"Wake up, little by little. When I get to a house or store, tell them Stephen King's hurt side of the road and he needs help. I know he's still alive because he talked to me. It was an accident."
He paused. "It wasn't my fault. He was walking in the road." A pause. "Probably."
Do I care upon whom the blame for this mess falls? Roland asked himself. In truth he did not. King would go on writing either way. And Roland almost hoped he would be blamed, for it was indeed King's fault; he'd had no business being out here in the first place.
"Drive away now," he told Bryan Smith. "I don't want to look at you anymore."
Smith started the van with a look of profound relief. Roland didn't bother watching him go. He went to Mrs. Tassenbaum and fell on his knees beside her. Oy sat by Jake's head, now silent, knowing his howls could no longer be heard by the one for whom he grieved. What the gunslinger feared most had come to pass. While he had been talking to two men he didn't like, the boy whom he loved more than all odiers-more than he'd loved anyone ever in his life, even Susan Delgado-had passed beyond him for the second time. Jake was dead.
FIVE
"He talked to you," Roland said. He took Jake in his arms and began to rock him gently back and forth. The 'Rizas clanked in their pouch. Already he could feel Jake's body growing cool.
"Yes," she said.
"What did he say?"
"He told me to come back for you 'after the business here is done.' Those were his exact words. And he said, 'Tell my father I love him.'"
Roland made a sound, choked and miserable, deep in his throat. He was remembering how it had been in Fedic, after they had stepped through the door. Hile, Father, Jake had said.
Roland had taken him in his arms then, too. Only then he had felt the boy's beating heart. He would give anything to feel it beat again.
"There was more," she said, "but do we have time for it now, especially when I could tell you later?"
Roland took her point immediately. The story both Bryan Smith and Stephen King knew was a simple one. There was no place in it for a lank, travel-scoured man with a big gun, nor a woman with graying hair; certainly not for a dead boy with a bag of sharp-edged plates slung over his shoulder and a machine-pistol in the waistband of his pants.
The only question was whether or not the woman would come back at all. She was not the first person he had attracted into doing things they might not ordinarily have done, but he knew things might look different to her once she was away from him. Asking for her promise-Do you swear to come back for me, sat? Do you swear on this boy's stilled heart?-would do no good.
She could mean every word here and then think better of it once she was over the first hill.
Yet when he'd had a chance to take the shopkeeper who owned the truck, he didn't. Nor had he swapped her for the old man cutting the grass at the writer's house.
"Later will do," he said. "For now, hurry on your way. If for some reason you feel you can't come back here, I'll not hold it against you."
"Where would you go on your own?" she asked him.
"Where would you know to go? This isn't your world. Is it?"
Roland ignored the question. "If there are people still here the first time you come back-peace officers, guards O'The watch, bluebacks, I don't know-drive past without stopping.
Come back again in half an hour's time. If they're still here, drive on again. Keep doing that until they're gone."
"Will they notice me going back and forth?"
"I don't know," he said. "Will they?"
She considered, then almost smiled. "The cops in this part of the world? Probably not."
He nodded, accepting her judgment. "When you feel it's safe, stop. You won't see me, but I'll see you. I'll wait until dark. If you're not here by then, I go."
"I'll come for you, but I won't be driving that miserable excuse for a truck when I do," she said. "I'll be driving a Mercedes-Benz S600." She said this with some pride.
Roland had no idea what a Mercedes-Bends was, but he nodded as though he did. "Go. We'll talk later, after you come back."
If you come back, he thought.
"I think you may want this," she said, and slipped his revolver back into its holster.
"Thankee-sai."
"You're welcome."
He watched her go to the old truck (which he thought she'd rather come to like, despite her dismissive words) and haul herself up by the wheel. And as she did, he realized there was something he needed, something that might be in the truck. "Whoa!"
Mrs. Tassenbaum had put her hand on the key in the ignition.
Now she took it off and looked at him inquiringly. Roland settled Jake gently back to the earth beneath which he must soon lie (it was that thought which had caused him to call out)
and got to his feet. He winced and put his hand to his hip, but that was only habit. There was no pain.
"What?" she asked as he approached. "If I don't go soon-"
It wouldn't matter if she went at all. 'Yes. I know."
He looked in the bed of the truck. Along with the careless scatter of tools there was a square shape under a blue tarpaulin.
The edges of the tarp had been folded beneath the object to keep it from blowing away. When Roland pulled the tarp free, he saw eight or ten boxes made of the stiff paper Eddie called
"card-board." They'd been pushed together to make the square shape. The pictures printed on the card-board told him they were boxes of beer. He wouldn't have cared if they had been boxes of high explosive.
It was the tarpaulin he wanted.
He stepped back from the truck with it in his arms and said,
"Wow you can go."
She grasped the key that started the engine once more, but did not immediately turn it. "Sir," said she, "I am sorry for your loss. I just wanted to tell yovi that. I can see what that boy meant to you."
Roland Deschain bowed his head and said nothing.
Irene Tassenbaum looked at him for a moment longer, reminded herself that sometimes words were useless things, then started the engine and slammed the door. He watched her drive into the road (her use of the clutch had already grown smooth and sure), making a tight turn so she could drive north, back toward East Stoneham.
Sorry for your loss.
And now he was alone with that loss. Alone with Jake. For a moment Roland stood surveying the litde grove of trees beside the highway, looking at two of the three who had been drawn to this place: a man, unconscious, and a boy dead. Roland's eyes were dry and hot, throbbing in their sockets, and for a moment he was sure that he had again lost the ability to weep. The idea horrified him. If he was incapable of tears after all of this-after what he'd regained and then lost again-what good was any of it? So it was an immense relief when the tears finally came. They spilled from his eyes, quieting their nearly insane blue glare.
They ran down his dirty cheeks. He cried almost silently, but there was a single sob and Oy heard it. He raised his snout to the corridor of fast-moving clouds and howled a single time at them. Then he too was silent.
SIX
Roland carried Jake deeper into the woods, with Oy padding at his heel. That the bumbler was also weeping no longer surprised Roland; he had seen him cry before. And the days when he had believed Oy's demonstrations of intelligence (and empathy)
might be no more than mimicry had long since passed. Most of what Roland thovight about on that short walk was a prayer for the dead he had heard Cuthbert speak on their last campaign together, the one that had ended at Jericho Hill. He doubted that Jake needed a prayer to send him on, but the gunslinger needed to keep his mind occupied, because it did not feel strong just now; if it went too far in the wrong direction, it would certainly break. Perhaps later he could indulge in hysteria-or even irina, the healing madness-but not now. He would not break now. He would not let the boy's death come to nothing.
The hazy green-gold summerglow that lives only in forests
(and old forests, at that, like the one where the Bear Shardik had rampaged), deepened. It fell through the trees in dusky beams, and the place where Roland finally stopped felt more like a church than a clearing. He had gone roughly two hundred paces from the road on a westerly line. Here he set Jake down and looked about. He saw two rusty beer-cans and a few ejected shell-casings, probably the leavings of hunters. He tossed them further into the woods so the place would be clean. Then he looked at Jake, wiping away his tears so he could see as clearly as possible. The boy's face was as clean as the clearing, Oy had seen to that, but one of Jake's eyes was still open, giving the boy an evil winky look that must not be allowed. Roland rolled the lid closed wiui a finger, and when it sprang back up again (like a balky windowshade, he thought), he licked the ball of his thumb and rolled the lid shut again. This time it stayed closed.
There was dust and blood on Jake's shirt. Roland took it off, then took his own off and put it on Jake, moving him like a doll in order to get it on him. The shirt came almost to Jake's knees, but Roland made no attempt to tuck it in; this way it covered the bloodstains on Jake's pants.
All of this Oy watched, his gold-ringed eyes bright with tears.
Roland had expected the soil to be soft beneath the thick carpet of needles, and it was. He had a good start on Jake's grave when he heard die sound of an engine from the roadside.
Other motor-carriages had passed since he'd carried Jake into the woods, but he recognized the dissonant beat of this one.
The man in the blue vehicle had come back. Roland hadn't been entirely sure he would.
"Stay," he murmured to the bumbler. "Guard your master."
But that was wrong. "Stay and guard your friend."
It wouldn't have been unusual for Oy to repeat the command (S'ay!was about the best he could manage) in the same low voice, but this time he said nothing. Roland watched him lie down beside Jake's head, however, and snap a fly out of the air when it came in for a landing on the boy's nose. Roland nodded, satisfied, then started back the way he had come.
SEVEN
Bryan Smith was out of his motor-carriage and sitting on the rock wall by the time Roland got back in view of him, his cane drawn across his lap. (Roland had no idea if the cane was an affectation or something the man really needed, and didn't care about this, either.) King had regained some soupy version of consciousness, and the two men were talking.
"Please tell me it's just sprained," the writer said in a weak, worried voice.
"Nope! I'd say that leg's broke in six, maybe seven places."
Now that he'd had time to settle down and maybe work out a story, Smith sounded not just calm but almost happy.
"Cheer me up, why don't you," King said. The visible side of his face was very pale, but the flow of blood from the gash on his temple had slowed almost to a stop. "Have you got a cigarette?"
"Nope," Smith said in that same weirdly cheerful voice.
"Gave em up."
Although not particularly strong in the touch, Roland had enough of it to know this wasn't so. But Smith only had three and didn't want to share them with this man, who could probably afford enough cigarettes to fill Smith's entire van with them. Besides, Smith thought-
"Besides, folks who been in a accident ain't supposed to smoke," Smith said virtuously.
King nodded. "Hard to breathe, anyway," he said.
"Trolly bust a rib or two, too. My name's Bryan Smith. I'm the one who hit you. Sorry." He held out his hand and-incredibly-King shook it.
"Nothin like this ever happened to me before," Smith said.
"I ain't ever had so much as a parkin ticket."
King might or might not have known this for the lie it was, but chose not to comment on it; there was something else on his mind. "Mr. Smith-Bryan-was anyone else here?"
In the trees, Roland stiffened.
Smith actually appeared to consider this. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a Mars bar and began to unwrap it.
Then he shook his head. "Just you n me. But I called 911 and Rescue, up to the store. They said someone was real close. Said they'd be here in no time. Don't you worry."
"You know who I am."
"God yeah!" Bryan Smith said, and chuckled. He took a bite of the candy bar and talked through it. "Reckonized you right away. I seen all your movies. My favorite was the one about the Saint Bernard. What was that dog's name?"
"Cujo," King said. This was a word Roland knew, one Susan Delgado had sometimes used when they were alone together.
In Mejis, cujo meant "sweet one."
"Yeah! That was great! Scary as hell! I'm glad that litde boy lived!"
"In the book he died." Then King closed his eyes and lay back, waiting.
Smith took another bite, a humongous one this time. "I
liked the show they made about the clown, too! Very cool!"
King made no reply. His eyes stayed closed, but Roland thought the rise and fall of the writer's chest looked deep and steady. That was good.
Then a truck roared toward them and swerved to a stop in front of Smith's van. The new motor-carriage was about the size of a funeral bucka, but orange instead of black and equipped with flashing lights. Roland was not displeased to see it roll over the tracks of the storekeeper's truck before coming to a stop.
Roland half-expected a robot to get out of the coach, but it was a man. He reached back inside for a black sawbones' bag.
Satisfied that everything here would be as well as it could be,
Roland returned to where he had laid Jake, moving with all his old unconscious grace: he cracked not a single twig, surprised not a single bird into flight.
EIGHT
Would it surprise you, after all we've seen together and all the secrets we've learned, to know that at quarter past five that afternoon,
Mrs. Tassenbaum pulled Chip McAvoy's old truck into the driveway of a house we've already visited? Probably not, because ka is a wheel, and all it knows how to do is roll. When last we visited here, in 1977, both it and the boathouse on the shore of Keywadin Pond were white with green trim. The Tassenbaums, who bought the place in '94, had painted it an entirely pleasing shade of cream (no trim; to Irene Tassenbaum's way of thinking, trim is for folks who can't make up their minds). They have also put a sign reading SUNSET COTTAGE on a post at the head of the driveway, and as far as Uncle Sam's concerned it's part of their mailing address, but to the local folk, this house at the south end of Keywadin Pond will always be the old John Cullum place.
She parked the truck beside her dark red Benz and went inside, mentally rehearsing what she'd tell David about why she had the local shopkeeper's pickup, but Sunset Cottage hummed with the peculiar silence only empty places have; she picked up on it immediately. She had come back to a lot of empty places-apartments at the beginning, bigger and bigger houses as time went by-over the years. Not because David was out drinking or womanizing, good Lord forbid. No, he and his friends had usually been out in one garage or another, one basement workshop or another, drinking cheap wine and discount beer from the Beverage Barn, creating the Internet plus all the software necessary to support it and make it user-friendly. The profits, although most would not believe it, had only been a side-effect.
The silence to which their wives so often came home was another. After awhile all that humming silence kind of got to you, made you mad, even, but not today. Today she was delighted the house was just hers.
Are you going to sleep with Marshal Dillon, if he wants you?
It wasn't a question she even had to think about. The answer was yes, she would sleep with him if he wanted her: sideways, backward, doggy-style, or straight-up fuck, if that was his pleasure. He wouldn't-even if he hadn't been grieving for his young
(sai? son?)
friend, he wouldn't have wanted to sleep with her, she with her wrinkles, she with her hair going gray at the roots, she with the spare tire which her designer clothes could not quite conceal. The very idea was ludicrous.
But yes. If he wanted her, she would.
She looked on the fridge and there, under one of the magnets that dotted it (WE ARE POSITHONICS, BUILDING THE FUTURE ONE CIRCUIT AT A TIME, this one said) was a brief note.
Ree-
You wanted me to relax, so I'm relaxing (dammit!).
I.e. gone fishin' with Sonny Emerson, t'other end of the lake, ayuh, ayuh. Will be back by 7 unless the bugs are too bad. If I bring you a bass, will you cook amp; clean?
D.
PS: Something going on at the store big enufto rate 3 police cars. WALK-INS, maybe???? ? If you hear, fill me in.
She'd told him she was going to the store this afternoon-eggs and milk that she'd of course never gotten-and he had nodded. Yes dear, yes dear. But his note held no hint of worry, no sense that he even remembered what she'd said. Well, what else did she expect? When it came to David, info entered ear A, info exited ear B. Welcome to Genius World.
She turned the note over, plucked a pen from a teacup filled with them, hesitated, then wrote:
David,
Something has happened, and I have to be gone for awhile. 2 days at least, I think maybe 3 or 4. Please don't worry about me and don't call anyone. ESPECIALLY NOT POLICE. It's a stray cat thin?
Would he understand that? She thought he would if he remembered how they'd met. At die Santa Monica ASPCA, that had been, ainong the stacked rows of kennels in back: love blooms as the mongrels yap. It sounded like James Joyce to her, by God. He had brought in a stray dog he'd found on a suburban street near the apartment where he was staying with half a dozen egghead friends. She'd been looking for a kitten to liven up what was an essentially friendless life. He'd had all his hair then. As for her, she'd thought women who dyed theirs mildly amusing. Time was a thief, and one of the first things it took was your sense of humor.
She hesitated, then added Love you,
Ree Was that true any longer? Well, let it stand, either way.
Crossing out what you'd written in ink always looked ugly. She put the note back on the fridge with the same magnet to hold it in place.
She got the keys to the Mercedes out of the basket by the door, then remembered the rowboat, still tied up at the little stub of dock behind the store. It would be all right there. But then she thought of something else, someuiing the boy had told her. He doesn't know about money.
She went into the pantry, where they always kept a slim roll of fifties (there were places out here in the boondocks where she would be willing to swear they'd never even heard of MasterCard) and took three. She started away, shrugged, went back, and took the other three, as well. Why not? She was living dangerously today.
On her way out, she paused again to look at the note. And then, for absolutely no reason she could understand, she took the Positronics magnet away and replaced it with an orange slice. Then she left.
Never mind the future. For the time being, she had enough to keep her occupied in the present.
NINE
The emergency bucka was gone, bearing the writer to die nearest hospital or infirmary, Roland assumed. Peace officers had come just as it left, and they spent perhaps half an hour talking with Bryan Smith. The gunslinger could hear the palaver from where he was, just over the first rise. The bluebacks' questions were clear and calm, Smith's answers litde more than mumbles.
Roland saw no reason to stop working. If the blues came back here and found him, he would deal with them. Just incapacitate them, unless they made that impossible; gods knew there had been enough killing. But he would bury his dead, one way or another.
He would bury his dead.
The lovely green-gold light of the clearing deepened. Mosquitoes found him but he did not stop what he was doing in order to slap them, merely let them drink their fill and then lumber off, heavy with dieir freight of blood. He heard engines starting as he finished hand-digging the grave, die smooth roar of two cars and the more uneven sound of Smith's vanmobile.
He had heard the voices of only two peace officers, which meant that, unless there had been a third blueback with nothing to say, they were allowing Smith to drive away by himself.
Roland thought this rather odd, but-like the question of whether or not King was paralyzed-it was none of his matter or mind. All diat mattered was diis; all diat mattered was seeing to his own.
He made three trips to collect stones, because a grave dug by hand must necessarily be a shallow one and animals, even in such a tame world as this, are always hungry. He stacked the stones at the head of the hole, a scar lined with earth so rich it could have been black satin. Oy lay by Jake's head, watching die gunslinger come and go, saying nothing. He'd always been different from his kind as they were since the world had moved on; Roland had even speculated that it was Oy's extraordinary chattiness that had caused the others in his tet to expel him, and not gently, either. When they'd come upon this fellow, not too far from the town of River Crossing, he'd been scrawny to the point of starvation, and with a half-healed bite-mark on one flank. The bumbler had loved Jake from the first: "That's as clear as Earth needs," Cort might have said (or Roland's own father, for that matter). And it was to Jake the bumbler had talked the most. Roland had an idea that Oy might fall mostly silent now that the boy was dead, and this thought was another way of defining what was lost.
He remembered the boy standing before the people of Calla Bryn Sturgis in the torchlight, his face young and fair, as if he would live forever. / am Jake Chambers, son of Elmer, the Line of Eld, the ka-tet of the Ninety and Nine, he had said, and oh, aye, for here he was in the Ninety and Nine, with his grave all dug, clean and ready for him.
Roland began to weep again. He put his hands over his face and rocked back and forth on his knees, smelling the sweet aromatic needles and wishing he had cried off before ka, that old and patient demon, had taught him the real price of his quest.
He would have given anything to change what had happened, anything to close this hole with nothing in it, but this was the world where time ran just one way.
TEN
When he had gained control of himself again, he wrapped Jake carefully in the blue tarpaulin, fashioning a kind of hood around the still, pale face. He would close that face away for good before refilling the grave, but not until.
"Oy?" he asked. "Will you say goodbye?"
Oy looked at Roland, and for a moment the gunslinger wasn't sure he understood. Then the bumbler extended his neck and caressed the boy's cheek a last time with his tongue. "I,
Ake," he said: Bye, Jake or I ache, it came to the same.
The gunslinger gathered the boy up (how light he was, this boy who had jumped from the barn loft with Benny Slightman, and stood against the vampires with Pere Callahan, how curiously light; as if the growing weight of him had departed with his life) and lowered him into the hole. A crumble of dirt spilled down one cheek and Roland wiped it away. That done, he closed his eyes again and diought. Then, at last-haltingly-he began. He knew that any translation into the language of this place would be clumsy, but he did the best he could. If Jake's spirit-man lingered near, it was this language that he would understand.
"Time flies, knells call, life passes, so hear my prayer.
"Birth is nothing but death begun, so hear my prayer.
"Death is speechless, so hear my speech."
The words drifted away into the haze of green and gold.
Roland let them, then set upon the rest. He spoke more quickly now.
"This is Jake, who served his ka and his tet. Say true.
"May the forgiving glance of S'mana heal his heart. Say please.
"May the arms of Gan raise him from the darkness of this earth. Say please.
"Surround him, Gan, with light.
"Fill him, Chloe, with strength.
"If he is thirsty, give him water in the clearing.
"If he is hungry, give him food in the clearing.
"May his life on this earth and the pain of his passing become as a dream to his waking soul, and let his eyes fall upon every lovely sight; let him find the friends that were lost to him, and let every one whose name he calls call his in return.
"This is Jake, who lived well, loved his own, and died as ka would have it.
"Each man owes a death. This is Jake. Give him peace."
He knelt a moment longer with his hands clasped between his knees, thinking he had not understood the true power of sorrow, nor the pain of regret, until this moment.
I cannot bear to let him go.
But once again, that cruel paradox: if he didn't, the sacrifice was in vain.
Roland opened his eyes and said, "Goodbye, Jake. I love you, dear."
Then he closed the blue hood around the boy's face against the rain of earth that must follow.
ELEVEN
When the grave was filled and the rocks placed over it, Roland walked back to the clearing by the road and examined the tale the various tracks told, simply because there was nothing else to do. When that meaningless task was finished, he sat down on a fallen log. Oy had stayed by the grave, and Roland had an idea he might bide there. He would call the bumbler when Mrs.
Tassenbaum returned, but knew Oy might not come; if he didn't, it meant that Oy had decided to join his friend in the clearing. The bumbler would simply stand watch by Jake's grave until starvation (or some predator) took him. The idea deepened Roland's sorrow, but he would bide by Oy's decision.
Ten minutes later the bumbler came out of the woods on his own and sat down by Roland's left boot. "Good boy," Roland said, and stroked the bumbler's head. Oy had decided to live.
It was a small thing, but it was a good thing.
Ten minutes after that, a dark red car rolled almost silently up to the place where King had been struck and Jake killed. It pulled over. Roland opened the door on the passenger side and got in, still wincing against pain that wasn't there. Oy jumped up between his feet without being asked, lay down with his nose against his flank, and appeared to go to sleep.
"Did you see to your boy?" Mrs. Tassenbaum asked, pulling away.
"Yes. Thankee-sai."
"I guess I can't put a marker there," she said, "but later on I could plant something. Is there something you think he might like?"
Roland looked up, and for the first time since Jake's death, he smiled. 'Yes," he said. "A rose."
TWELVE
They rode for almost twenty minutes without speaking. She stopped at a small store over the Bridgton town line and pumped gas: MOBIL, a brand Roland recognized from his wanderings.
When she went in to pay, he looked up at los dngeles, running clear and true across the sky. The Path of the Beam, and stronger already, unless that was just his imagination. He supposed it didn't matter if it was. If the Beam wasn't stronger now, it soon would be. They had succeeded in saving it, but Roland felt no gladness at the idea.
When Mrs. Tassenbaum came out of the store, she was holding a singlet-style shirt with a picture of a bucka-wagon on it-a real bucka-wagon-and words written in a circle. He could make out HOME, but nothing else. He asked her what the words said.
"BRIDGTON OLD HOME DAYS, JULY 27TH TO JULY 30TH, 1999,"
she told him. "It doesn't really matter what it says as long as it covers your chest. Sooner or later we'll want to stop, and there's a saying we have in these parts: 'No shirt, no shoes, no service."
Your boots look beat-up and busted down, but I guess they'll get you through the door of most places. But topless? Huh-uh, no way Jose. I'll get you a better shirt later on-one with a collar-and some decent pants, too. Those jeans are so dirty I bet they'd stand up on their own." She engaged in a brief (but furious)
interior debate, then plunged. 'You've got I'm going to say roughly two billion scars. And that's just on the part of you I can see."
Roland did not respond to this. "Do you have money?" he asked.
"I got three hundred dollars when I went back to the house to get my car, and I had thirty or forty with me. Also credit cards, but your late friend said to use cash as long as I could. Until you go on by yourself, if possible. He said there might be folks looking for you. He called them 'low men.'"
Roland nodded. Yes, there would be low men out there, and after all he and his ka-tet had done to thwart the plans of their master, they'd be twice as eager to have his head. Preferably smoking, and on the end of a stick. Also the head of sai Tassenbaum, if they found out about her.
"What else did Jake tell you?" Roland asked.
"That I must take you to New York City, if you wanted to go there. He said there's a door there that will take you to a place called Faydag."
"Was there more?"
"Yes. He said there was another place you might want to go before you used the door." She gave him a timid litde sideways glance. "Is there?"
He considered this, then nodded.
"He also spoke to the dog. It sounded as if he was giving the dog... orders? Instructions?" She looked at him doubtfully.
"Could that be?"
Roland thought it could. The woman Jake could only ask.
As for Oy... well, it might explain why the bumbler hadn't stayed by the grave, much as he might have wanted to.
For awhile they traveled in silence. The road they were on led to a much busier one, filled with cars and trucks running at high speed in many lanes. She had to stop at a tollbooth and give money to get on. The toll-taker was a robot with a basket for an arm. Roland thought he might be able to sleep, but he saw Jake's face when he closed his eyes. Then Eddie's, with the useless bandage covering his forehead. If this is what comes when I dose my eyes, he thought, what will my dreams be like?
He opened his eyes again and watched as she drove down a smooth, paved ramp, slipping into the heavy flow of traffic without a pause. He leaned over and looked up through the window on his side. There were the clouds, los dngeles, traveling above them, in the same direction. They were still on the Path of the Beam.
THIRTEEN
"Mister? Roland?"
She thought he had been dozing with his eyes open. Now he turned to her from where he sat in the passenger bucket seat with his hands in his lap, the good one folded over the mutilated one, hiding it. She thought she had never seen anyone who looked less like he belonged in a Mercedes-Benz. Or any automobile. She also thought she had never seen a man who looked so tired.
But he's not used up. I don't think he's anywhere near used up, although he may think otherwise.
"The animal... Oy?"
"Oy, yes." The bumbler looked up at the sound of his name, but didn't repeat it as he might have done only yesterday.
"Is it a dog? It isn't, exactly, is it?"
"He, not it. And no, he's not a dog."
Irene Tassenbaum opened her mouth, then closed it again.
This was difficult, because silence in company did not come naturally to her. And she was with a man she found attractive, even in his grief and exhaustion (perhaps to some degree because of those things). A dying boy had asked her to take this man to New York City, and get him to the places he needed to go once they were there. He'd said that his friend knew even less about New York than he did about money, and she believed that was true. But she also believed this man was dangerous.
She wanted to ask more questions, but what if he answered them? She understood that the less she knew, the better her chance, once he was gone, of merging into the life she'd been living at quarter to four this afternoon. To merge the way you merged onto the turnpike from a side road. That would be best.
She turned on the radio and found a station playing "Amazing Grace." The next time she looked at her strange companion, she saw that he was looking out at the darkening sky and weeping. Then she chanced to look down and saw something much odder, something that moved her heart as it had not been moved in fifteen years, when she had miscarried her one and only effort to have a child.
The animal, the not-dog, the Oy... he was crying, too.
FOURTEEN
She got off 95 just over the Massachusetts state line and checked them into a pair of side-by-side rooms in a dump called the Sea Breeze Inn. She hadn't thought to bring her driving glasses, the ones she called her bug's-asshole glasses (as in "when I'm wearing these things I can see up a bug's asshole"), and she didn't like driving at night, anyway. Bug's-asshole glasses or not, driving at night fried her nerves, and that was apt to bring on a migraine. With a migraine she would be of no use to either of them, and her Imitrex was sitting uselessly in the medicine cabinet back in East Stoneham.
"Plus," she told Roland, "if this Tet Corporation you're looking for is in a business building, you won't be able to get inside until Monday, anyway." Probably not true; this was the sort of man who got into places when he wanted. You couldn't keep him out. She guessed that was part of his attraction to a certain kind of woman.
In any case, he did not object to the motel. No, he would not go out to dinner with her, and so she found the nearest bearable fast-food franchise and brought back a late dinner from RFC. They ate in Roland's room. Irene fixed Oy a plate without being asked. Oy ate a single piece of the chicken, holding it neatly between his paws, then went into the bathroom and appeared to fall asleep on the mat in front of the tub.
"Why do they call this the Sea Breeze?" Roland asked.
Unlike Oy, he was eating some of everything, but he did it with no sign of pleasure. He ate like a man doing work. "I get no smell of the ocean."
"Well, probably you can when the wind's in the right quarter and blowing a hurricane," she said. "It's what we call poetic license, Roland."
He nodded, showing unexpected (to her, at least) understanding.
"Pretty lies," he said.
"Yes, I suppose."
She turned on the television, thinking it would divert him, and was shocked by his reaction (although she told herself that what she felt was amusement). When he told her he couldn't see it, she had no idea how to take what he was saying; her first thought that it was some sort of oblique and teddibly intellectual criticism of the medium itself. Then she thought he might be speaking (in equally oblique fashion) of his sorrow, his state of mourning. It wasn't until he told her that he heard voices, yes, but saw only lines which made his eyes water that she realized he was telling her the literal truth: he could not see the pictures on the screen. Not the rerun of Roseanne, not the infomercial for Ab-Flex, not the talking head on the local news. She held on until the story about Stephen King (taken by LifeFlight helicopter to Central Maine General in Lewiston, where an early-evening operation seemed to have saved his right leg-condition listed as fair, more operations ahead, road to recovery expected to be long and uncertain), then turned the TV off.
She bussed up the trash-there was always so much more of it from a KFC meal, somehow-bade Roland an uncertain goodnight (which he returned in a distracted, I'm-not-reallyhere way that made her nervous and sad), then went to her own room next door. There she watched an hour of an old movie in which Yul Brynner played a robot cowboy that had run amok before turning it off and going into the bathroom to brush her teeth. There she realized that she had-of course, dollink!-forgotten her toothbrush. She did the best she could with her finger, then lay down on the bed in her bra and panties (no nightgown either). She spent an hour like that before realizing that she was listening for sounds from beyond the paper-thin wall, and for one sound in particular: the crash of the gun he had considerately not worn from the car to the motel room.
The single loud shot that would mean he had ended his sorrow in the most direct fashion.
When she couldn't stand the quiet from the other side of the wall any longer she got up, put her clothes back on, and went outside to look at the stars. There, sitting on the curb, she found Roland, with the not-dog at his side. She wanted to ask how he had gotten out of his room without her being aware of it (the walls were so thin and she had been listening so hard), but she didn't. She asked him what he was doing out here, instead, and found herself unprepared for both his answer and for the utter nakedness of the face he turned to hers. She kept expecting a patina of civilization from him-a nod in the direction of the niceties-but there was none of that. His honesty was terrifying.
"I'm afraid to go to sleep," he said. "I'm afraid my dead friends will come to me, and that seeing them will kill me."
She looked at him steadily in the mixture of light: that which fell from her room and the horrible heardess Halloween glare of the parking-lot arc sodiums. Her heart was beating hard enough to shake her entire chest, but when she spoke her voice sounded calm enough: "Would it help if I lay down with you?"
He considered this, and nodded. "I think it would."
She took his hand and they went into the room she had rented him. He stripped off his clothes with no sign of embarrassment and she looked, awestruck and afraid, at the scars which lapped and dented his upper body: the red pucker of a knife-slash on one bicep, the milky weal of a burn on another, the white crisscross of lash-marks between and on the shoulderblades, three deep dimples that could only be old bulletholes.
And, of course, there were the missing fingers on his right hand. She was curious but knew she'd never dare ask about those.
She took off her own outer clothes, hesitated, then took off her bra, as well. Her breasts hung down, and there was a dented scar of her own on one, from a lumpectomy instead of a bullet.
And so what? She never would have been a Victoria's Secret model, even in her prime. And even in her prime she'd never mistaken herself for tits and ass attached to a life-support system.
Nor had ever let anyone else-including her husband-make the same mistake.
She left her panties on, however. If she had trimmed her bush, maybe she would have taken them off. If she'd known, getting up that morning, that she would be lying down with a strange man in a cheap hotel room while some weird animal snoozed on the bathmat in front of the tub. Of course she would have packed a toothbrush and a tube of Crest, too.
When he put her arms around her, she gasped and stiffened, then relaxed. But very slowly. His hips pressed against her bottom and she felt the considerable weight of his package, but it was apparently only comfort he had in mind; his penis was limp.
He clasped her left breast, and ran his thumb into the hollow of the scar left by the lumpectomy. "What's this?" he asked.
"Well," she said (now her voice was no longer even), "according to my doctor, in another five years it would have been cancer.
So they cut it out before it could... I don't know, exactly-metastasizing comes later, if it comes at all."
"Before it could flower?" he asked.
"Yes. Right. Good." Her nipple was now as hard as a rock, and surely he must feel that. Oh, this was so weird.
"Why is your heart beating so hard?" he asked. "Do I frighten you?"
"I... yes."
"Don't be frightened," he said. "Killing's done." A long pause in the dark. They could hear the faint drone of cars on the turnpike. "For now," he added.
"Oh," she said in a small voice. "Good."
His hand on her breast. His breath on her neck. After some endless time that might have been an hour or only five minutes, his breathing lengthened, and she knew he had gone to sleep. She was pleased and disappointed at the same time. A few minutes later she went to sleep herself, and it was the best rest she'd had in years. If he had bad dreams of his gone friends, he did not disturb her with them. When she woke in the morning it was eight o'clock and he was standing naked at the window, looking out through a slit he'd made in the curtains with one finger.
"Did you sleep?" she asked.
"A little. Will we go on?"
FIFTEEN
They could have been in Manhattan by three o'clock in the afternoon, and the drive into the city on a Sunday would have been far easier than during the Monday morning rush hour, but hotel rooms in New York were expensive and even doubling up would have necessitated breaking out a credit card. They stayed at a Motel 6 in Harwich, Connecticut, instead. She took only a single room and that night he made love to her. Not because he exactly wanted to, she sensed, but because he understood it was what she wanted. Perhaps what she needed.
It was extraordinary, although she could not have said precisely how; despite the feel of all those scars beneath her hands-some rough, some smooth-there was the sense of making love to a dream. And that night she did dream. It was a field filled with roses she dreamed of, and a huge Tower made of slate-black stone standing at the far end. Partway up, red lamps glowed... only she had an idea they weren't lamps at all, but eyes.
Terrible eyes.
She heard many singing voices, thousands of them, and understood that some were the voices of his lost friends. She awoke with tears on her cheeks and a feeling of loss even though he was still beside her. After today she'd see him no more. And that was for the best. Still, she would have given anything in her life to have him make love to her again, even though she understood it had not been really her he had been making love to; even when he came into her, his thoughts had been far away, with those voices.
Those lost voices.
