It was warm; Elbryan felt that first, felt a soft, moist sensation gently touching all his skin. Gradually his consciousness came floating back to him, as if from a far distant place. He spent a long while lying very still, bathing in the comforting sensation, the warmth, holding that clear consciousness away. For the boy who had just witnessed such carnage and loss, the semiconscious state was preferable.
It wasn't until a memory of Dundalis, of his dead parents, slipped through his defenses, shocking away the quiet and the calm, that he opened his olive green eyes.
He was on a mossy bank, a gentle slope that put his head comfortably above his feet. A warm fog hung thick about him, caressing his body and dulling his senses. Visibility was but a few feet and Elbryan, shuffling up to his elbows, soon realized that sound traveled little farther than that, caught up and deadened in the tangible mist. He was in a forest, he understood -- he was ankle deep in fallen leaves. Elbryan's instincts -- something about the air, perhaps, the aroma told him this was not the slope leading out of Dundalis up to the ridgeline, the slope where he had met the . . .
The what? Elbryan wondered, having no explanation of who or what those delicate winged creatures might be.
Despite the bruises from his fights with the goblins, the minor wounds, and the discomfort of the night spent in the corner of his ruined house, the young man felt no pain, no soreness in his limbs. He sat up straight, then rolled to put his legs under him. Gradually he came up in a crouch, studying the area intently, trying to get some bearings on where he might be.
The forest was an old one, judging from the gnarled and twisted trunks of those nearby trees he could discern through the mist. The sun seemed a gray blur above him, a lighter spot in the sky. "West," Elbryan decided after studying it for a moment, his instincts, his internal directional sense, sorting things out. The boy believed the sun to be in the west, halfway from noon to sunset.
He didn't have much time before the night settled around him. He stood up, but stayed low, feeling vulnerable despite the thick mist. His reasoning told him to get out of that fog so that he might survey the area, but his physical senses did not want him to leave the soothing mist.
He overruled the physical and started up the slope, thinking to get above the gray blanket. He moved quickly, stumbling -- often and cursing himself silently for every stick snapping sound. He climbed within the fog for only a few minutes and came out of it so suddenly he nearly stumbled again from the shock. At the same moment that the air grew clear about him, strong winds buffeted him -- not gusts but a continual blow. Elbryan looked down the slope curiously, just the few feet to the unmoving mist. It appeared to him as if the mist were somehow blocking, or at least escaping, the winds, but how could that be?
Elbryan's eyes widened with yet another unexplainable mystery as, he continued to survey the ascent before him, going up, up, up from his position, dwarfing him, making him feel totally insignificant and tiny. He knew that he was nowhere near Dundalis; this mountain was nothing like the gentle, tree- covered hills of his homeland. He was on the western face of but one mountain in a great, towering range, looking down at a mist-shrouded vale, oval-shaped and nestled between the many overlooking peaks. Not so far above him, Elbryan could see the snow on this mountain and on all the others, a whitecapping that the young man suspected might be perpetual.
He shook his head helplessly. Where in Corona was he? And how had he come to this place?
The young man's eyes opened even wider then, and he glanced all around frantically. "Am I dead?" he asked the wind.
No answer, no hint, just the murmur, an endless string of mysterious whispers.
"Father?" Elbryan cried, and he scrambled three steps to the right, as though that might make some difference. "Pony?"
No answer.
His heart was racing, blood pumping furiously. Soon he was gasping for breath in utter panic. He started to run, first left, then up, then, when that course proved too difficult, back to the right, all the while calling out for his father or mother or for anyone.
"You are not dead," came a sweet, melodic voice from behind.
Elbryan paused for a long while, catching his breath, composing himself. Somehow he knew the speaker was not human, that no human voice could chime so sweetly, so perfectly.
Slowly, concentrating on his breathing more than anything else, Elbryan turned.
There stood one of the creatures he had seen in the glade, a bit shorter than he and probably no more than three-quarters his weight. Its limbs were incredibly slender, but they weren't bumpy and bony like Jilseponie's had been when she was much younger. This creature's limbs didn't look skinny, any more than did the supple branches of a bending willow. Nor did this creature, so tiny, seem weak. Far from it; there was a sureness, a fluid solidity to the creature that warned Elbryan this tiny foe would be more difficult than any of the goblins he had battled, perhaps more difficult even than the giant.
"Come back down where it is warmer," the creature bade Elbryan, "into the mists where the wind does not blow."
Elbryan looked back at the vale and realized for the first time that no treetops were poking through the gray canopy, as if all the trees had stopped at exactly that level. Elbryan had the distinct feeling the mist and the treetops were somehow connected.
"Come," said the creature. "You are not dead and are not in danger. The danger has passed."
Elbryan winced at the reference to the tragedy of Dundalis. The way the words were spoken, however plainly and without any apparent deception allowed Elbryan to relax somewhat. Instead of sizing up the diminutive creature as a potential enemy now, he regarded it in a different light. He noticed for the first time how delicate and beautiful this one seemed, with angular features perfectly sculpted and hair so golden that even Pony's thick, lustrous mane could sparkle no brighter. It was as if the being shone of its own accord, an inner light making the flowing hair glow and shimmer. The creature's eyes were no less spectacular, two golden stars, they seemed, bright with childish innocence, yet deep with wisdom.
The creature started down the slope but stopped at the very edge of the fog, realizing the young man was making no move to follow.
"Who are you?" came the obvious question.
The creature smiled disarmingly. "I am Belli'mar Juraviel," it answered honestly and motioned again toward the mist, even took another step down, so that its shins disappeared into the grayness.
"What are you?" Elbryan said with more confidence. He suspected the creature would confirm it was an elf, but he realized even such an honest and expected answer would give him little information, for he really didn't know, what an elf was.
The creature stopped again and turned back to regard him. "Do you know so little?"
Elbryan glared at Juraviel, in no mood for cryptic talk.
"The world is a lost place, I fear," Juraviel went on. "To think we have been forgotten in a mere century."
Elbryan's scowl melted away in curiosity.
"You really do not know?"
"Know what?" Elbryan snapped back defiantly.
"Of anything beyond your own race," Juraviel clarified.
"I know of goblins and of fomorian giants!" Elbryan insisted, his voice and his ire rising.
Juraviel had a response for that, a remark concerning the relative unpreparedness of Dundalis in the face of such knowledge. If this boy knew of the evil races, then why was his village so utterly ill equipped to deal with a simple raiding party? The elf politely kept the question to himself, though, understanding the wounds were too raw in this young one. "And do I fit into your knowledge of such creatures? Am I goblin or fomorian?" Juraviel asked calmly, that melodic voice alone destroying any possible comparisons to the croaking and growling monsters.
Elbryan chewed on his lip for a moment, trying to find an appropriate response. Finally, he shook his head.
"Come," Juraviel bade him, the diminutive fellow turning again toward the mist.
"You haven't answered my question."
When Juraviel turned back this time, his expression was more stern. "There is no answer that can be conveyed with simple words," he explained. "I could tell you a name, and you might have heard the name before, but that will give you little of the truth and more of the myth."
Elbryan cocked his head, obviously lost.
"Your prejudices twined with the name will conflict with your perceptions," Juraviel went on. "You asked me my own name, and that I willingly gave, for the words 'Belli'mar Juraviel' bring no preconceptions with them. You asked what I am, and that I cannot tell you. That is something Elbryan Wyndon of Dundalis must learn for himself."
Before the startled young man could even ask how Belli'mar Juraviel might have come by his name, the creature turned and strode into the mist, disappearing from sight. Elbryan rocked back on his heels, fumbling with his thoughts. Then he realized that he was alone again, and utterly lost. His choices were simple, and there seemed none better than following this creature, whatever it might be.
Elbryan sprinted down the slope, back into the grayness, and found a smiling Juraviel waiting for him just a few feet beyond the mist's edge. At first, Elbryan wondered why he hadn't seen the figure from outside the mist, then he realized that he could not see the trees from out there, either, though they were tall and thick about him now, just five steps in.
Too many questions, the young man decided, and he didn't even want to know the answers at that moment, his curiosity overwhelmed.
Juraviel walked down the slope at an easy pace, Elbryan right behind him. Not so far down, they moved beneath the misty canopy, and the forested valley came clear to Elbryan. Again he was amazed. He felt warm and serene, despite all that had happened, despite his very real fears. He didn't feel lost anymore and if he was dead -- and he was again beginning to believe that to be the case then death was not so bad!
For the forest, this place, was more beautiful than anything young Elbryan had ever seen. The undergrowth was lush and thick. but seemed to part before them as they made their way along smooth trails that always seemed as if they would end just a few feet in front of the pair but went on, apparently in any direction that Belli'mar Juraviel chose. The creature wasn't following a trail, Elbryan believed, but was making one, walking as easily and openly through the underbrush as a man might wade through a shallow pond. As soon as he recovered from that spectacle, Elbryan was overwhelmed again, this time by the myriad vivid colors and delicate aromas, by the chirping of countless birds, the winsome song of an unseen brook, the bleating of some distant creature. The whole place was a song; Elbryan's every sense was on its edge, and he felt more alive than he had ever felt before.
His mind fought against that perception. He forced himself to remember Dundalis, to replay the horror, that he might find a fighting edge. He thought of escape, though he knew not where he might run, or even why he would wish to. He looked at the low branches of a nearby tree and visualized a weapon he could fashion from one of them, though a weapon, any weapon, would surely seem out of place here. His stubbornness held for many minutes, a testament to the young man's strong willpower. But even the memories of the recent tragedy could not hold firmly to Elbryan as he walked for the first time through the forest that was home to the elves, to Belli'mar Juraviel's folk. Dark thoughts could not be sustained in the place where Juraviel's people danced and played.
"Can you at least tell me where I am?" a flustered Elbryan asked some minutes later, Juraviel going along as if in a trance, ignoring the young man completely.
After a dozen more skipping steps, the creature paused and turned. "On your maps, if it is on your maps, this place is named simply the Valley of Mists."
Elbryan shrugged; the name meant nothing to him, though he was glad to learn that it might be on some map, at least. If that was true, then he probably was not dead.
"Truly, it is Andur'Blough Inninness, the Forest of Cloud, though few of your people would recognize that name, and those who did would not likely admit it."
"Do you always talk in riddles?"
"Do you always ask foolish questions?"
"What is foolish about wanting to know where I am?" Elbryan asked angrily.
"And so I have told you," a calm Juraviel replied. "Does that change anything? Do you feel comforted now, to know that you are. in a place that you do not know?"
Elbryan growled softly and brought both his hands up to ruffle his light brown hair.
"But then," the elf went on in condescending tones, "humans must name everything, must map it and place it in some tidy little package and category, that they believe they have found some measure of control over what cannot be controlled. A false sense of godliness, I suppose."
"Godliness?"
"Arrogance," Juraviel clarified. "My young human!" he said suddenly, excitedly, clapping his delicate hands together in mock glee. "You are in Andur'Blough Inninness!"
Elbryan screwed up his face and shrugged.
"Exactly my point," Juraviel said dryly, and started on his way.
Elbryan sighed and followed.
Half an hour passed uneventfully, Elbryan walking and looking about, constantly awed by the beauty and the. richness of Andur'Blough Inninness. Mostly, though, the boy's gaze drifted back to the. curious creature leading him.
"Do those work?" he asked on impulse, blurting out his thoughts before he even realized he was speaking.
Juraviel stopped short and turned to regard the obviously embarrassed Elbryan, standing perfectly still on the trail and pointing forward at Juraviel.
Juraviel's smile calmed Elbryan considerably. "A logical question," the creature remarked, understanding Elbryan's curiosity, and then he added, with exaggerated relief, "at last."
Elbryan's expression soured.
"But why would you wish to know?" the ever-elusive Juraviel answered. "To gain advantage in a battle, perhaps?" He quickly added, "Not that you and I shall ever battle, of course," as soon as he noticed Elbryan's muscles go tense.
That declaration relaxed the young man, and so, of course, Juraviel put in, "Except during . . ." and then paused and let the teasing thought hang empty in the air.
Thoroughly flustered, feeling very out of place both physically and emotionally, Elbryan took a deep breath and removed himself from his anxiety -- as simply as that. He merely let his fears and dark thoughts fall somewhere behind him, concentrating only on the present. It might have been resignation, a simple conclusion that he could do nothing about anything anyway, but to Juraviel, the obvious change that came over the boy was promising. Certainly an emotional detachment would prove healthier for this young human who had been through so much and who had so many more trying experiences ahead of him.
With a widening smile, Juraviel started his wings fluttering, bent his knees, and leaped into the air, a half jump, half flight to the lowest branch of a nearby maple.
"They work," Juraviel announced, "for short hops and to break a fall. But, no, we cannot fly as do the birds." He came back to the ground, his face suddenly serious as he contemplated his own words. "A pity."
Elbryan nodded, in full agreement. How wonderful it would be to fly! He imagined the wind, the green treetop canopy speeding below him . . .
"Your time here will not be unpleasant unless you make it so," Juraviel announced immediately and grimly before the grin could even begin to spread across young Elbryan's face.
Elbryan stared at the creature curiously, caught off guard by the sudden change of demeanor.
"Know that there are those among my people who do not believe you belong," Juraviel went on, his voice stern. "There are those who do not see in you the likeness of Mather."
"I know of no person by the name of Mather," Elbryan replied with all the courage he could muster. Again came that feeling of detachment, summoned consciously, an attitude that he had nothing to lose, had already lost all. there was.
Juraviel shrugged, a flitting little movement of his slender shoulders. "You shall," he promised. "Hear me now clearly, young one. You are not a prisoner, yet you are not free. As long as you remain in Andur'Blough Inninness, your conduct must be controlled, as your training shall be guided."
"Training?" Elbryan started to ask, but Juraviel didn't pause long enough to hear him.
"Stray from the rules at your own peril. Ask not for a second chance when the harsh justice of the Touel'alfar falls upon you."
The threat was open and clear. Elbryan, with that typical Wyndon pride, squared his shoulders and tightened his jaw, a movement that Juraviel seemed to take no note of whatsoever. The name Juraviel had given his people, Touel'alfar, had a distinctly familiar ring, and Elbryan was certain he had heard it in conjunction with tales of the elves.
"You may rest now," Juraviel finished. "I will show to you your duties with the rising of the sun.
"And rest well," he finished, his voice grim and somber, "for your duties are many and will weary you indeed!"
Elbryan wanted to shout out that he would do as he pleased, when he pleased. He wanted to proclaim his independence loudly and openly, but before he got the first stuttered word out of his mouth, Juraviel hopped into a short flight once more. The delicate creature stepped lightly onto a branch and jumped again immediately, disappearing into the thick brush so completely arid easily that Elbryan blinked and rubbed his eyes.
He stood there, in the valley of Andur'Blough Inninness, doubting what he had seen, doubting all that had happened. He wanted his mother and his father. He wanted Pony, that they might have another chance to warn the village before the goblin darkness descended. He wanted ...
He wanted too much, all at once. He sat down right in the dirt at his feet and fought hard against his emotions, for he did not want to cry.
From Juraviel's perspective, the first meeting had gone quite well. He knew there would be many doubts raised about Elbryan, particularly by Tuntun, and he knew how difficult Tuntun could be! But after speaking with the boy, Juraviel was even more convinced that this was indeed the true bloodline of Mather, and an appropriate ranger-in-training. Elbryan had that same impish quality about him as Mather, a love and luster of life, lurking just below the surface. The boy could control it, could find that necessary place of detachment . . . and yet, Elbryan could not resist the question about the wings. He had to know, and then, when he did know, he couldn't help but imagine the wonder of soaring through the air. Just by the expression on Elbryan's face, Juraviel had read the boy's every wonder-filled thought and had relished each of them as much as had Elbryan.
It was good that the boy could think such things at this darkest time in his life, was good that he could press on logically, stoically. Tuntun was wrong, Juraviel knew without any doubt at all; this one had character.
Elbryan wanted to eat, or fall asleep, even looked for a place, a moss bed, perhaps, where he might lie down. That notion was lost along with so many others, fleeting thoughts banging into a wall of images. Andur'Blough Inninness, with all its sounds and colors, all its vivid images, called to him, teased him. Juraviel had said nothing about his remaining where he was, so Elbryan got up, brushed himself off, and started walking again among the trees.
He spent the remainder of the afternoon caught up in the sights and smells. He found a stream filled with yellow fish that he did not know, and watched them for more than an hour. He spotted a deer, its long white tall bobbing, but as soon as, he tried to get closer, it caught wind of him and leaped away, disappearing as completely as Belli'mar Juraviel had into the shadows.
For all the sights of that wondrous afternoon, for all the relief of existing simply in the present and not in the most terrible past or the uncertain future, Elbryan was even more greatly overwhelmed as dusk descended.
The hole opened in the middle of the fog that covered the elven valley, showing the deep blue sky. Slowly that hole widened, all sides drawing away evenly, perfectly, and Elbryan, watching in sheer amazement, knew that something supernatural, some magic, guided the mist. Soon the sky was clear above him, the first stars twinkling into view.
Elbryan ran about in search of an open meadow, wanting to see this spectacle more clearly. He found a hillock, bare of trees, and scrambled up its side, stumbling more than once, for his eyes remained fixed on the sky.
The fog had receded now to the edges of the vale, and there it hung, blurring the dark shadows of the towering mountains, blurring the boundary between earth and sky. Elbryan had stopped at the top of the hillock, but he felt as if he were still going up, still ascending to those brilliant, twinkling dots. There was a music that swelled about him, he suddenly realized, a beautiful harmony, and it, too, seemed to draw him higher to walk among the stars, to dwell in their light and mystery. Questions too profound flitted about his consciousness.
He knew not how many minutes, perhaps even hours, had passed when he at last came from that trance. The night was dark about him; his neck ached from holding the position for so long.
Though he was back on earth, spiritually, the music remained, soft and wonderful, emanating from every shadow, from every tree, from the ground itself.
No horrible memories could come to him while he was listening to that elvish song, no fears could gain hold. Slowly, determinedly, Elbryan moved down the hillock, looking back often to the sky. Then he forced himself to stare at the darkest spot he could find, that his eyes could adjust more completely.
He paused and very carefully turned a circuit, listening intently, trying to focus on the sound. His direction chosen, he started off, determined to find the singer.
Many times that night, Elbryan believed that he was close Many times, he rushed around a bend in the trail or jumped out from behind a tree, expecting to catch an elf at song, and once he thought he glimpsed the light of a distant torch.
The song was strong, though not loud, with many voices joining in, but Elbryan never caught a glimpse of any of the singers, saw no elf nor any other creature the rest of that night.
Juraviel found him at dawn, curled in a hollow at the base of a wide oak.
It was time to begin.
Part Two PASSAGE
Often I sit and stare at the stars, wondering, wandering. They are to me the shining symbol of all the unanswered questions of human existence, of our place in this vast sky, of our purpose, of death itself. They are sparkles of unanswerable wonder, and, too, the beacons of hope.
The night sky is what I liked most about my years in Andur'Blough Inninness. At dusk, when the fog rolled back to the forest edge, it shrouded the known world, blocked the stark mountain shadows in soft and subtle mystery, and the stars came out shining clearer than anywhere else in all the world. That magical mist drew me up -- my spirit and even my physical body, it seemed -- into the heavens, above the tangible world, that I might walk among the stars and bathe in the lights of mystery, in the secrets of the universe unveiled.
In that elven forest, under that elven sky, l knew freedom. I knew the purest contemplation, the release of physical boundaries, the brotherhood with all the universe. Under that sky that posed to me so many questions, I dismissed mortality, for I had become one with something that was eternal. I had ascended from this temporary existence, from a place of constant change to a place of eternity.
An elf may live for a handful of centuries, a human for a handful of decades, but for both that is but the start of an eternal journey -- or perhaps a continuation of a journey that had begun long before this present conscious incarnation. For the spirit continues, as the stars continue. Under that sky, I learned this to be true.
Under that sky, l talked to God.
-ELBRYAN WYNDON
