He could remember wishing she would not shout at him, but it had been so much easier then. “Did you think I meant to go alone?” He had; he had never thought of anyone to guard his back, though now he could hear a small whisper, He likes to come from behind, or at your flanks. He could hardly think clearly at all. His anger seemed to have a life of its own, stoking the fires that kept it boiling. “But not you. This is dangerous. Moiraine can come if she wishes.”
Egwene and Aviendha did not look at one another before stepping forward, but they moved as one, not stopping until they were so close even Aviendha had to tilt her bead back to look up at him.
“Moiraine can come if she wishes,” Egwene said.
If her voice was smooth ice, Aviendha's was molten stone. “But it is too dangerous for us.”
“Have you become my father? Is your name Bran al'Vere?”
“If you have three spears, do you put two aside because they are newer made?”
“I do not want to risk you,” he said stiffly.
Egwene arched her eyebrows. “Oh?” That was all.
“I am not gai'shain to you.” Aviendha bared her teeth. “You will never choose what risks I take, Rand al'Thor. Never. Know it now.”
He could... What? Wrap them in saidin and leave them? He still could not shield them. So they might well snare him in return. A fine mess, all because they wanted to be stubborn.
“You have thought of guards,” Moiraine said, “but what if who is with Rahvin is Semirhage, or Graendal? Or Lanfear? These two might overwhelm one such, but could you face her and Rahvin together alone?”
There had been something in her voice when she said Lanfear's name. Was she afraid that if Lanfear was there, he might finally join her? What would he do if she was there? What could he do? “They can come,” he said through clenched teeth. “Now will you go?”
“As you command,” Moiraine said, but they were in no hurry about it. Aviendha and Egwene took ostentatious care in rearranging their shawls before they started for the door. Lords and ladies might dart at his word, but never them.
“You did not try to talk me out of it,” he said abruptly.
He meant it for Moiraine, but Egwene spoke first, though to Aviendha, and with a smile. “Stopping a man from what he wants to do is like taking a sweet from a child. Sometimes you have to do it, but sometimes it just isn't worth the trouble.” Aviendha nodded.
“The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills,” was Moiraine's reply. She stood in the doorway looking more Aes Sedai than he ever remembered her, ageless, with dark eyes that seemed ready to swallow him, slight and slender yet so regal she could have commanded a roomful of queens if she could not channel a spark. That blue stone on her forehead was catching the light again. “You will do well, Rand.”
He stared at the door long after it closed behind them.
It was a scuff of boots that recalled him to Mat's presence. Mat was trying to slide toward the door, moving slowly so as not to be seen.
“I need to talk to you, Mat.”
Mat grimaced. Touching the foxhead like a talisman, he spun to face Rand. “If you think I'm going to put my head on the block just because those fool women did, you can forget it now. I'm no bloody hero, and I don't want to be one. Morgase was a pretty woman — I even liked her; as much as you can like a queen — but Rahvin is Rahvin, burn you, and I —”
“Shut up and listen. You have to stop running.”
“Burn me if I will! This is no game I chose, and I won't —”
“I said, shut up!” Rand drove the foxhead against Mat's chest with a hard finger. “I know where you got this. I was there, remember? I cut the rope you were hanging from. I don't know exactly what got shoved into your head, but whatever it is, I need it. The clan chiefs know war, but somehow you know it too, and maybe better. I need that! So this is what you're going to do, you and the Band of the Red Hand... ”
“Be careful tomorrow,” Moiraine said.
Egwene paused at the door to her room. “Of course we'll be careful.” Her stomach was turning backflips, but she kept her voice steady. “We know how dangerous facing one of the Forsaken will be.” By Aviendha's expression, they might have been talking about what was for supper. But then, she was never afraid of anything.
“Do you, now,” Moiraine murmured. “Be very careful anyway, whether you think one of the Forsaken is near or not. Rand will need both of you in the days to come. You handle his temper well — though I may say your methods are unusual. He will need people who cannot be driven away or quelled by his rages, who will tell him what he must hear instead of what they think he wants to.”
“You do that, Moiraine,” Egwene told her.
“Of course. But he will still need you. Rest well. Tomorrow will be... difficult for us all.” She glided away down the corridor, passing from dimness to pool of lamplight to dimness. Night was already coming to these shadowed halls, and oil was in short supply.
“Will you stay with me awhile, Aviendha?” Egwene asked. “I feel more like talking than eating.”
“I must tell Amys what I have promised to do tomorrow. And I must be in Rand al'Thor's sleeping chamber when he comes.”
“Elayne can never complain that you haven't watched Rand closely for her. Did you really drag the Lady Berwyn down the hall by her hair?”
Aviendha's cheeks colored faintly. “Do you think these Aes Sedai in — Salidar? — will help him?”
“Be careful of that name, Aviendha. Rand cannot be allowed to find them without preparation.” The way he was now, they would be more likely to gentle him, or at least send thirteen sisters of their own, than help him. She would have to stand between them in Tel'aran'rhiod, she and Nynaeve and Elayne, and hope those Aes Sedai had committed themselves too far to back out before they discovered how near the brink he was.
“I will be careful. Rest well. And eat well tonight. In the morning, eat nothing. It is not good to dance the spears with a full stomach.”
Egwene watched her stride away before pressing her hands to her stomach. She did not think she would eat tonight or in the morning. Rahvin. And maybe Lanfear, or one of the others. Nynaeve had faced Moghedien and won. But Nynaeve was stronger than she or Aviendha, when she could channel at all. There might not be another. Rand said the Forsaken did not trust one another. She could almost wish he was wrong, or at least that he was not so certain. It was frightening when she thought she saw another man looking through his eyes, heard another man's words come out of his mouth. It should not be so; everyone was reborn as the Wheel turned. But everyone was not the Dragon Reborn. Moiraine would not talk of it. What would Rand do if Lanfear was there? Lanfear had loved Lews Therin Telamon, but what had the Dragon felt for her? How mu
