"Jenni."
"Or Jason. Or Jack," she hesitated. "Or you. Nerit. Ralph."
He smoothed her hair gently and gave her a little hug. "I have nightmares…waking nightmares. I see people-the people around metransformed into those things. I have since the first day. Juan, the Mayor, Peggy, others. When you were sick I kept seeing you as one of those things.
Just for a split second. A waking nightmare of my-"
"-fear."
"Yes." He sighed. "I was talking to Jenni that first night. I was thinking how beautiful she was, then for a moment, for a flash, I saw her as dead as one of those monsters."
Katie looked up at him, her eyes full of tears. "I think we all have those fears."
"We'll take Laura home with us. We'll help her find her way back to us, to the land of the living. We'll keep each other alive." Travis' voice was determined, full of emotion.
Katie wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly to her.
"Help each other be strong."
Travis held her in his arms and nodded. "Yes. We'll go home tomorrow.
To Jenni and Jason and the dog and all the others."
Katie felt tears hot on her face and she let herself relax into his warm embrace. His strength reminded her of her father and he felt so safe and comforting. And for a moment, she let herself believe it was her Dad hugging her and she wept.
"We'll be okay," Travis promised.
Katie looked up at him and nodded. "Of course. We have no other choice."
Travis smiled at her and said, "Besides, I promised Jenni I'd build her a gazebo so she wouldn't get sunburned."
"Oh, you did?" Katie giggled at the thought of Jenni relaxing in the shade of a fancy gazebo.
"Yeah. I have a soft spot for beautiful women," he said with a grin.
"Yeah? Then that's something we have in common," she quipped.
They laughed together. Travis slung his arm around her neck and guided her toward the steps.
"You're the prettiest competition I ever had," he teased her.
Katie just smiled at him and they climbed the stairs to join the others.
4. In The Heart Of The Abyss
Nerit put Laura down to sleep in the living room and covered her with a light blanket. She sat with her and stroked her clean hair until the girl finally slept. Of course, Laura still clutched the VCR remote and the VHS tape, but at least she was asleep.
Dinner was a low-key affair. Nerit made a delicious meal and they all enjoyed it. Ralph even opened up a bottle of wine. But at the same time, they were all muted in their conversation. There was a great sense of sorrow at the table.
There was refuge in working hard, planning, keeping alive: a refuge from feeling too deeply. But Laura had brought the reality of this new world starkly into view. It was hard to deny the horror that existed in the world beyond their tiny conclaves of safety. How easily the walking dead had become "them" and the living "us.” The decaying, mutilated appearance of the zombies made it easy to hate them, fear them, and even kill them. The dead were the enemy and that was a comfort in this world. The lines were clearly drawn.
But Laura brought it all vividly into focus. Her fate was the norm. Not theirs. They were lucky. For one reason or another, they had escaped the initial bloodbath. They had not joined the ranks of the dead in that first horrible day. It was sobering for all of them to realize that they were alive nearly by the luck of the draw. But Laura was also alive, but not nearly so lucky. How many, like her, survived only to slowly starve to death as the dead grew in ranks to dominate the earth? How many, like her, were shells of their former self, their minds broken by the horrors they had seen? And would they, the lucky ones, one day see something too terrible to endure and also slip into that twilight world or perhaps find themselves one of the walking dead?
But all this remained unsaid. They spoke instead of their plans to keep themselves safe, alive, and healthy. They had the rare luxury of being in a remote area far from the cities that were overrun with the dead. And they knew it. It was a blessing and a burden.
After dinner, Katie walked onto the balcony and sat in a chair next to Ralph. She didn't speak, but looked up at the brilliance of the stars above as the fragrant smoke from Ralph's pipe trailed up to the heavens.
"It's not the end, Katie. Just the next step," Ralph finally said.
"I guess we are all acting like we're at a funeral," Katie sighed.
"We are. The funeral of the world. And we're the mourning survivors picking up the pieces and finding a way to move on," Ralph said in one of the longest sentences she had ever heard him mutter.
Katie looked at him and forced a smile. "I feel so guilty."
Ralph nodded slowly. "We all do."
Katie looked toward the living room and waved one hand. "I see her and know that I could have easily have been her. Or one of those things. I don't understand why I'm here."
"To live. Keep going. Rebuild." Ralph's eyes were unwavering from her face.
"Sounds so easy," Katie said softly.
"But it’s not. This is a new and dangerous world. Got a map downstairs.
Got circles around pockets of survivors. I talk to them online or on the CB.
Have since the first day. Each day less people respond. Maybe the grid in their area has gone down or the Internet has failed. Or maybe they are dead.
It's a tough world. I talk to a trucker stuck out in the hills every day. He ran out of gas. He is low on food. I can't go get him because he doesn't know where he is. He's going to die out there. And I'm his only friend."
Katie shivered and slumped back in the chair, holding herself. "I hate leaving you both here."
"It's where we belong. Same as you going back to the Fort. It's where you belong." Ralph leaned over and took her hand in his. He gave it a firm squeeze. "You help Travis and the others keep safe. You keep strong."
Katie looked at him, then smiled. "And you do the same."
Ralph nodded and Nerit appeared at the door. "It's time to sleep, you two. We have an early morning."
Ralph unfolded his body from the chair with a little grunt. He walked over and kissed Nerit on the cheek. She smiled softly at him and held out her hand to Katie.
Katie went to her and Nerit guided her inside.
Laura was still asleep on the sofa, curled up tightly, clutching the tape in her sleep. Bill was lying on the cot, snoring a little.
"You and Travis need to share the guest room. Is that okay?" Nerit asked.
Ralph turned to protest, but was silenced at Nerit's look.
"I don't care. It's not like he's a jerk who'll try to feel me up," Katie said with a wink.
Ralph gave Nerit a look as they passed him and she just waved her hand at him. Katie was bemused by Ralph's old-fashioned sensibilities. But she was tired and wanted to sleep.
They reached the threshold of the guestroom and Travis was already there, lying on his back, eyes closed, on top of the covers. Katie almost laughed at the sight.
Nerit kissed her cheek and whispered, "I'm going to miss you."
Katie smiled back at her. "I'm going to miss you. I hope, one day, I can be as strong as you are."
Nerit looked flattered, but at the same time a little sad. "Just remember to always be true to your heart and do your best. And that will always make you strong."
Katie kissed Nerit's cheek gently and hugged her. "Good advice. I plan to keep it."
Letting go of the older woman's hand, she slipped into the darkened bedroom and lay down on the bed.
"Don't try anything," Travis said sleepily. "I'd hate to punch a woman."
"I can barely contain myself, but I'll keep my hands to myself," Katie assured him with a little laugh.
Travis smiled and opened one eye to look at her. "I've turned gay women before."
"Suuuuuuuuuuuuure."
"Yep, turned their stomachs and sent them screaming," Travis teased groggily.
"That sounds more plausible. I can barely keep from gagging." Katie rolled onto her side and tucked her hand under her cheek, facing him. "But seriously…"
Travis rolled over to face her. "Yeah?"
"Tomorrow…"
"Yeah?"
"If I don't make it-"
"You will make it."
"But if I don't, take care of Jenni and Jason."
Travis sighed. "Okay. But you are going to make it, Katie."
Katie wasn't so sure anymore. Today had drained her, made her feel vulnerable to fate.
Travis reached out and took her free hand. "We both will."
Katie opened her eyes sleepily. "Okay, but don't let go."
"I won't," Travis promised, and held her hand until she slept.
Chapter 14
1. Falling Into The Abyss
Don't let go!" Katie swung over the zombies, her feet kicking as she tried to get back onto the pallet.
Travis' hand, slick with sweat from the heat and his nerves had an iron tight grip on her wrist. "I won't! Grab onto my arm with your other hand!"
