Melissa had finally dragged my sorry story out of me, late one night when the three of us were hanging out at their apartment. Cassie had kept her promise and hadn’t told her best friend, so it was up to me to fill Melissa in. Damn, it seemed like such a good idea at the time.
Melissa took a quick breath and then delivered her final assessment. “You’re both so screwed up alone that together you’re like the perfect mess.”
The table fell briefly silent as her rant sank in. I thought about protesting, but wasn’t sure she was all that wrong.
“That’s an attractive analogy. Thanks for saying I’m screwed up.” Cassie’s voice was sharp, her feelings clearly hurt.
I shot Melissa a murderous glare before reaching for Cassie’s chin and turning her face to mine. “I’ll be the perfect mess with you anytime.”
Cassie quickly swiped under her eye and leaned her head against my shoulder. She released a deep sigh. “Melissa just doesn’t know anything about having messed-up parents. Hers are perfect. She can’t relate.”
“Hey! It’s not my fault I won the parent lottery.” Melissa eyed Cassie. “Plus, we both know I’m not strong enough to deal with the shit you’ve dealt with. I would’ve had a nervous breakdown by now. I could never handle everything your dad’s put you through.”
Cassie’s body shook lightly against mine as she released a slight laugh, causing the tension in my chest and back to release. I realized in that moment that her feelings affected my own. I’d never let anyone hurt her as long as I was around. And if they did, I’d sure as hell make them pay for it.
“I don’t know if it’s because I’m strong or because I’ve gotten really good at turning off my emotions,” Cassie commented, her voice soft.
“It’s definitely both.” Melissa turned to me. “And Jack, I’ve never seen anyone completely shut off the way this one can.” Her head tilted toward Cass. “If you push her too far, she’ll flick off like a light switch. It’s scary.”
“Really? That’s impressive,” I teased as my fingers caressed her side.
“You won’t feel that way if she does it to you. Trust me.” Melissa’s face was the scary kind of serious.
“Well, I hope I never have to see it.”
“If I didn’t compartmentalize, I’d never be able to function! It’s the only way I can survive without being a total basket case.” Cassie’s face was serious as she defended herself.
“I get it, Kitten. Still impressive.” I smiled as she looked up at me.
“So when do you leave for Texas?” Dean’s question changed the subject and broke the tension. Thank God for little brothers, especially those who can talk around a mouthful of cheeseburger.
“We fly out Thursday morning. Why?”
“Just wondering.”
Cassie sat upright and turned to face me. “What do you do when you’re there? Like how does it work? Do you practice? Do parents go?”
Cassie always had a million questions about everything, but it turned me on. She was so damn inquisitive and smart. “Well, we typically fly in the day before our games start. We check in at the hotel. We’ll have practice and work out and have dinner as a team. Some parents go, but not many.”
“Does everyone get their own room?” she asked, her voice half impressed, half shocked.
“No.” I let out a laugh. “We share rooms.”
“Do you have like bed checks and stuff?”
I nodded and noticed Melissa’s elbows planted firmly on the table, her ears taking in every word. “We do. Usually Coach comes by and makes sure everyone’s in their rooms by ten.”
Her face softened. “Any other rules?”
I felt my mouth form a half smile. “No girls and no drinking,” I said with a chuckle.
She shoved against my shoulder. “I’m sure those rules never get broken, huh?”
“Nope. We’re all complete angels when we’re on the road.” My gaze darted between Melissa and Cassie, then fell on Dean, silently daring him to contradict me.
Dean let out a hearty laugh. “Angels, my ass.”
“No, wait wait wait!” Cassie’s voice broke through the chorus of laughter. “Do you guys sneak girls in your rooms? Like random strangers?”
I felt her eyes pierce mine. She wanted the truth and I didn’t want to lie to her. “Yeah.”
She rolled her eyes at my one-word response.
“Kitten. The eyes.”
“You’re such a pig.” She shook her head with disgust.
“This isn’t news! But I’m a changed man, Kitten. I swear it.” I took her chin in my fingers and pleaded, wanting her to believe me.
“We’ll see about that.” She stared back at me, her smirk evidence of her disbelief.
“Care to make a wager?” I offered, dying to loosen up the tense atmosphere.
Her face crinkled at my suggestion. “Please, tell me you don’t need a bet to stay faithful. I swear to God, Jack.”
I felt her body tighten as she angled away from me. With one humorous comment, I’d changed her body language completely. It was as though I could feel her replacing the bricks around her heart that I’d already knocked down. One by one, she cemented them back into place where she felt they belonged.
This away series was going to be the first real test in our relationship. She wasn’t sure she could trust me. I didn’t blame her though, but I was damn sure going to prove her wrong.
SEVEN
CASSIE
I paced nervously around the kitchen while I waited for Jack to arrive.
“Why are you pacing? What the hell’s wrong with you?” Melissa looked up from her textbook and eyed me.
“I don’t know. I’m sorta freaking out,” I admitted, taking a swig from my water glass.
“About what? Seriously, Cass, I haven’t seen the guy even touch another girl since your crazy date that night.” Melissa tried to catch my gaze, her eyebrows raised.
I shook my head and continued wearing down the kitchen floor. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” She sat up straighter, laying her pencil in between the pages of her book and closing it shut.
I stopped walking, took another drink, and swallowed forcefully. “I just don’t get why Dean can’t take him to the bus tomorrow. Why does he want me to do it? And why is he leaving me his death machine?”
Melissa sighed heavily. “Jesus, Cassie. Can’t the guy do something nice for you?”
“How is that nice?”
“Last time I checked, genius, your car is sitting pretty back at home.” She smirked, her head swiveling back and forth in disbelief at my stupidity.
“So?”
“So he’s leaving you his. That’s nice of him.”
“I guess.” She had a point, but my defenses were still up. “But why is he staying over?”
Melissa’s mouth fell open as she leaned her head back. “I’m such an idiot,” she admitted before smacking her palm against her forehead. “This is your first sleepover with Jack. You’re scared to spend the night with him. That’s what this is about.”
My stomach flipped and rolled with her words. I stared at the black-and-white-tiled kitchen counter, my eyes losing focus until the pattern became an unrecognizable swirl of hazy dark and light hues.
“Earth to Cassie, hello?” Melissa snapped her fingers in my direction and my eyes jerked up to meet hers.
“I’m not scared.” My stupid voice shook slightly. “I’m just…not ready.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because once you give your body to a guy, there’s no taking it back. And once you’ve done that it opens up feelings, emotions, and vulnerabilities you never knew you were capable of having. I’m not ready to give him my heart. What if he breaks it?”
“What if he doesn’t?” Melissa shot back.
The quick knock on the door startled us both and Melissa gathered her composure before I did. “Come in,” she yelled behind her.
The door swung open and Jack walked in, carrying his baseball bag in one hand and an overnight bag in the other. I watched as he dropped the baseball bag next to the door and then disappeared with his overnight bag into my bedroom. I quickly widened my eyes at Melissa before he waltzed back into the room. She stifled a laugh.
“Hey, Kitten.” He nuzzled his lips against my neck and I felt my knees begin to shake.
I forced a nervous smile. “Hungry?”
“Starved,” he answered, before his lips met mine.
All my thoughts scrambled inside my head as I released them and lost myself in his mouth. Warm cinnamon engulfed my senses as his breath and touch consumed me. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, Jack Carter always turned me to mush.
So much for that wall of yours, Cass. Kiss it good-bye.
When he pulled away, I braced my hand against the countertop to steady my shaking body. Once I was certain my legs would carry me without falling, I headed toward the refrigerator and opened the door, tearing through every tray and cabinet.
“Your options are grilled cheese, mac and cheese, or a quesadilla,” I announced, somewhat embarrassed by our lack of food choices.
“I can only pick one?” Jack teased. “What if I want them all?”
“Then you can make them.” I smirked while holding the door open with one arm. “Jack, tell me what you want!”
“I sort of do want them all. Is that bad? I’ll help.” His face crinkled as he braced for my reaction.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine. You make the mac and cheese and I’ll make the rest. Deal?”
I watched as the tension released from his tanned cheeks and those irresistible dimples appeared. “Deal!”
“Look at you two. Cooking in the kitchen like an old married couple,” Melissa remarked from a safe distance.
I turned toward her wishing I could suddenly shoot darts from my eyes. “Old married couple, my ass. We haven’t even made it through one road trip.”
Jack put down the pot he held and reached for me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held on to me tightly. “Kitten, are you worried about this road trip? I’m not going to fuck screw up. I promise.”
I avoided his eyes, looking straight past him toward the white wall in the distance. His fingers were suddenly caressing my cheek, before they forced my chin upward. “Look at me, Cass,” he pleaded softly.
I closed my eyes tight before opening them and focusing on his. It was so hard to put my feelings into words, all my insecurities and fears coiled inside me, eating away at the trust we’d built.
“I don’t want any other girl.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “You hear me?”
“I hear you,” was all I could force out in a whisper.
“But do you believe me?” He cocked his head to one side and raised an eyebrow.
I shrugged my shoulder. “I guess we’ll see.”
