I soon ended up in the King’s Gardens, the one place I could be alone. Hoping to hide myself on a ledge, I tried climbing the vines of the castle wall. Up there I could think. With enough time, I could piece together this disaster into a world that made sense again. But I wasn’t even halfway up the lowest wall before the muscles of my weaker right leg failed me and I fell back to the ground. I rolled into a sitting position and leaned against the wall, but made it no farther.
Maybe it had been a mistake to come to the gardens. I’d find no more answers here than anywhere else. As I looked around, the walls loomed over me. It was dizzying, and I couldn’t put any single idea in front of the other. Instead, the worries, plans, and choices all swirled around me like smoke, suffocating me just the same.
“Your Majesty, forgive me for invading your privacy.”
I stood when I saw that Harlowe had come. After bowing, he walked forward.
“I thought it’d only be Avenia that attacked,” I said. “Maybe Gelyn too, but not Mendenwal. And not this way.”
“None of us saw that coming.”
“There’s no reason for Vargan to attack Libeth. Destroying that town gave him nothing.” Images of the horrors that must have occurred that night came again to my mind. “Nothing except Imogen.”
“I know.” Harlowe licked his lips, and then added, “We must have your orders, sire.”
“What orders?” I yelled. It was irrational to be angry, especially with him, but I couldn’t help it. “I can’t fight this! I don’t have a plan for anything this big. I couldn’t even protect her. She should’ve been safe, away from me.” My eyes widened as I gulped in a breath that wouldn’t release. “I can’t . . . can’t —”
Harlowe put an arm on my shoulder and pulled me to him. He’d hugged me this way once before, sensing my fears on the eve of going to the pirates. It was the embrace of a father to a child, and I needed that comfort again.
Despite all my planning, the thought that war was now upon us terrified me. My father had seen a few battles in his youth, before he took the crown. In a small way, I began to understand his dread of conflict. Maybe it wasn’t weakness that kept him from standing up to our enemies’ demands, as I had always thought. Perhaps it was simply that he’d already paid the price of war.
There would be a price if Carthya fought back this time; there always was. I had a good idea of what it might cost me, but our options were failing. As long as I had enough strength to wield a sword, I would not accept Carthya’s defeat.
Harlowe held me until I drew back, with a clearer mind and a resolve that if Carthya was surrounded by enemies and had no chance of victory, then at least we would make a spectacular end of it.
“All right,” I said to Harlowe. “I will present my plans in one hour. Gather everyone who needs to be there.”
Kerwyn sat on my right in the throne room, and Amarinda was on my left. Beside them at the wide table were Harlowe and Mott, and also Tobias, who was supposedly there to help represent the regents. In truth, he had been with me since I had taken the crown, and I wanted his advice. Beyond that, I didn’t want anyone else here. Not until we had decided on a firm course of action.
At my request, Kerwyn leaned forward to begin. “Avenia has moved in from the west and will have thousands of men at their call. They will fight hard and without mercy, and because of that, they are the greatest danger to Carthya. Our spies also tell us there is movement from the soldiers of Gelyn. We must stop them from overtaking our northern border. The cavalry of Bymar can help us hold them back.”
“If Bymar comes,” Amarinda said. “My country will answer, but only if we find a way to tell them what’s happening here.”
“We must also consider Mendenwal,” Mott asked. “They have yet to attack, but our spies are certain King Humfrey has ordered his armies into Carthya.”
I hadn’t expected Mendenwal to be a part of the attack. Of the three countries surrounding us, Mendenwal was the most civilized, least aggressive, and had the longest tradition of diplomatic relations with Carthya. King Humfrey and I had a bit of a history, however — I had cut his thigh years ago after challenging him to a duel. But that was hardly reason to go to war. Besides, he’d deserved it.
Kerwyn was probably taking this news harder than anyone. He and Humfrey had seen a lot together over their years and almost could have been considered friends. Having Avenia as an enemy was bad enough, but Mendenwal worried me as much. Carthya could not withstand the full force of Mendenwal against us, even if they were the only aggressor we faced.
I pressed my lips together and looked at Kerwyn. “Why Mendenwal? Is it because my father lied to them? Or something more?”
“I have sent him letters of apology and explanation,” Kerwyn answered. “All have been ignored.”
“We can’t afford to have them as an enemy. Mendenwal’s armies are three times the size of Avenia’s.”
“But they can be reasoned with,” Tobias said. “They’re not bloodthirsty like Avenia, or hungry for our gold, like Gelyn.”
Perhaps so, but something had drawn them into this war, and I didn’t know what. I turned back to Kerwyn. “Can you get King Humfrey to come here?”
“How? If he won’t answer my letters —”
“You’ll have to travel to Mendenwal and remind him of your friendship.” I hated to ask so much. It was a long journey and we seemed to be enemies now. “It’ll be risky.”
For some reason that prompted a smile from him. “If I’ve learned anything from you, sire, it’s how to take a risk.”
“Thank you, Kerwyn.” With that settled, I turned to Mott. “You and I must attempt a rescue of Imogen. We’ll find the camp near Libeth where they’re holding her, then —”
“No.”
I did a double take. “What?”
He didn’t flinch. “No, Your Majesty. I will attempt a rescue. I will go there alone, or accompanied by an entire regiment of your soldiers if you prefer. But you will not be anywhere near the Avenian camp.”
“Yes, I will!” I often wondered if Mott had made it his life’s mission to oppose me. If so, he should feel very good about his success. I suspected if I chose something as unimportant as wearing a gray coat for supper rather than a blue one, he’d find a reason to argue about that too.
“They’re expecting you to rescue her,” he said. “This is a trap.”
“Do you think I haven’t considered that?”
“I think you’ve escaped some tight situations in the past and believe you can do it again this time. But it’s different now. They know you and they’ll prepare for your tricks. If you enter that camp, you will not leave it alive.”
I stood, shaking my head ferociously. “If they’re watching for me, then you’re no safer going in there.”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“But I’m not!” I yelled. “You will not fall into a trap meant for me! You will not die for me!” There hadn’t been a word from Roden since I’d sent him away three weeks earlier. For all I knew, he was gone. And now, perhaps Imogen too. The thought of something happening to another of my friends terrified me. If he really understood that, then he would stop arguing and let me have my way.
