His drink arrived and Rick raised the ice-filled tumbler. “To life,” he said. Carol and Doug raised their glasses in response but didn’t echo his words.
“Actually, you and Lisa have a great deal to do with the improvement in my mood,” Carol ventured. Doug cast her a warning glance. She knew he was right. This wasn’t the time to bring up the reason for their dinner invitation.
“Me?” Her brother looked surprised.
Thankfully their server arrived with the first course of their meal, saving Carol from answering. The waitress lit the fondue burner and set a bowl filled with a hot cheese mixture on top. She added a variety of items to dip, including bread, sliced vegetables and fresh apples and pears.
Carol’s appetite had increased over the last week, but since the miscarriage she’d lost enough weight that many of her clothes no longer fit properly. For that evening out, she’d been forced to change her outfit three times. Everything in her closet hung on her like a tent.
“We’re thinking of adoption,” Carol announced. She simply couldn’t resist saying something, despite Doug’s caution.
Rick nodded as if he approved. “Good idea.”
“We thought so,” Carol murmured and rubbed her leg against Doug’s. Rick was so dense he hadn’t picked up on what should’ve been obvious.
“I talked to Ellie last week,” her brother said.
“How did it go?”
“She was cordial but I could tell that beneath all the politeness, she was pleased to hear from me. I asked her out to dinner next week.”
“Is she going?”
Rick shook his head. “I should’ve waited until I was back in Juneau. It’s much harder to turn me down in person.”
“What’s happening with Lisa?” Carol asked, hoping for information about the pregnant flight attendant.
“We decided to go our separate ways. We were never much of an item.”
Carol’s heart fell. “But you do intend to keep seeing her, don’t you?”
Her brother looked up, holding a piece of bread dripping with cheese over the fondue pot. “Oh, sure, that’s unavoidable with the two of us working the same flights. She’s a sweetheart and what happened is unfortunate. I have to say she’s handled it well.”
Carol sighed with relief. “You know, sometimes what seems like an accident isn’t one at all.”
“I guess.” Rick reached for another piece of bread. “Damn, this is good. Did either of you notice what kind of cheese this is?”
“Can’t say that I did,” Doug said.
Carol noticed a sharpness in her husband’s voice and glanced over to find him frowning. She wanted to ask what was wrong, but couldn’t. Now that the subject of Lisa had been introduced, Carol couldn’t bear to wait another moment.
“I’m sure you know how dreadful it was when I miscarried,” she said, studying her brother intently.
Rick sipped his drink, and then speared a slice of pear. “That was really bummer news.”
“One night last week, just before dawn, I was sitting in the dark thinking about all of this. I felt like a complete failure.”
“How so?”
“I’d failed myself. I’d failed Doug. You and I both know what a wonderful father he’d be. And I knew how disappointed Mom and Dad would be. They’re really looking forward to becoming grandparents. I felt as if my whole world had collapsed.”
Rick glanced at her. “Why would you feel like that?”
It would take too long to explain. “A woman feels those kinds of emotions when she can’t carry a pregnancy to term.”
Rick’s gaze slid to Doug and he winked. “Women. Can’t live with ’em, can’t understand ‘em, but they sure as hell make life interesting, don’t they?”
Doug didn’t bother to respond.
“The reason I bring this up now—”
“Carol.” Doug placed his hand over hers. “Let’s enjoy our dinner.”
She nodded, but nearly had to bite her tongue to keep from prodding her brother with more questions about Lisa. Without the double whiskey—in fact, Rick was now on his second—he might have picked up on what she was trying to say.
The meal seemed to take forever. Any other night, Carol would have savored this time with her two favorite men in the world. Following the appetizer of cheese was the main course with shrimp and lobster cooked in a bubbling white wine sauce. When dessert finally arrived, strawberries and pound cake dipped in rich chocolate, Carol was so tense she couldn’t wait another minute.
“Would you like to come to our house for a nightcap?” Doug asked.
Rick glanced at his watch. “I’d better not.”
“But it’s important,” Carol blurted out. “Doug and I need to talk to you.”
Rick gave her a surprised look. “About what?”
Carol refused to let the evening end without broaching the subject of the adoption. “Doug and I want to ask about you and Lisa.”
Rick’s forehead creased in a frown. “I thought I told you we split up.”
“Yes, I know, but this doesn’t have anything to do with you as a couple. Doug and I—” she paused and looked at her husband briefly before returning her gaze to Rick “—we want to ask about the baby.”
“What baby?” Her brother seemed genuinely puzzled.
Carol leaned closer to him. “Lisa’s pregnant, right?”
“Was pregnant, you mean.”
Carol felt as if the chair had been yanked out from under her. “She miscarried?”
Rick shook his head. “She and I talked about this, you know. We both agreed there wasn’t any other option. Neither of us had planned on this pregnancy.”
“Yes, but—”
“All I could think was what Ellie would say if she found out, and then there’s eighteen bloody years of child support. A kid isn’t a responsibility I take lightly.”
“She had an abortion.” Carol felt needles of pain move up and down her arms.
“Like I said, Lisa and I discussed it. It’s her body, and the choice was hers.”
“But you told her you didn’t want the baby!”
“Damn straight. I don’t need that kind of complication in my life.”
“But Doug and I wanted to adopt the baby!”
“Honey.” Doug’s gentle voice broke through the fog of dismay and disbelief. “It isn’t going to happen. Let go of it.”
After the first jolt of shock she felt nothing. No anger, no outrage, no disappointment. Nothing. They might have been discussing the weather for all the emotion she experienced.
“I’m sorry,” Rick said, “but even if we’d known that, I don’t think we would’ve made any other choice.”
“Come on, honey, I think it’s time we left.” Doug helped her to her feet and if she wasn’t revealing any distress, he was.
“You were making a big assumption, weren’t you?” Rick demanded. “This is my life. It isn’t up to me to solve your problems for you.”
“Right,” Doug said. “This is our problem.”
Rick downed the last of his drink. “No need to get upset about it. These things happen.”
“Right.” Doug’s arm came around Carol.
“Thanks for dinner, you two. We’ll have to get together again soon.” Rick continued to sit at the table, staring blankly into space.
CHAPTER 39
ALIX TOWNSEND
J acqueline picked up Alix outside her apartment building promptly at ten on Saturday morning. During the knitting session on Friday afternoon, Alix had casually mentioned her dinner date with Jordan in a fancy restaurant. Jacqueline had leaped upon it, eager for another opportunity to prove herself.
“I know what I did wrong,” Jacqueline insisted. “Give me a second chance and you won’t be sorry.”
Alix hoped that was true. When Jacqueline’s Mercedes pulled up to the curb, Alix stepped forward and opened the passenger door. “You’re sure about this?”
“Positive. Now get in, we’re on a schedule.”
Three months ago if anyone had told Alix she’d be friends with this society broad, Alix would have laughed outright. She and Jacqueline still sniped at each other, but now it was mostly for show. They had a reputation to live up to, and Alix wasn’t going to let it slide. Apparently Jacqueline shared her feelings.
Alix sat in the car and waited, wondering why Jacqueline hadn’t pulled onto the street.
“Seat belt,” the older woman said sternly.
Grumbling under her breath, Alix reached for the seat belt and clicked it in place.
“What?” Jacqueline snapped.
“Don’t be so prissy.”
“I’m not. By the way, we’re going to my daughter-in-law’s house.”
“Tammie Lee’s?” This was a switch. Alix had noticed a softening in Jacqueline not only toward her, but her daughter-in-law too. When Alix had first signed up for the knitting classes, Jacqueline had nothing good to say about the woman who’d married her precious son. That seemed to have changed, at least a little.
“Tammie Lee’s young and trendy. That’s the look you’re after, isn’t it?”
“It’s better than having you dress me like Barbara Bush.”
To Alix’s surprise, Jacqueline laughed. “Don’t put down our former First Ladies. I changed the spelling of my name in the fifth grade because of Jacqueline Kennedy.”
“My mother says she spelled my name with an I on purpose,” Alix confessed, “but I don’t think it was for any good reason. The fact is, she was probably drunk when she made out the birth certificate and accidentally misspelled it.” Alix didn’t know if that was true or not, but it was certainly possible.
They chatted on the ride to Tammie Lee’s, mostly about which fork to use first in a fancy restaurant and other rules of etiquette Jacqueline felt it was essential Alix know. They also discussed Lydia and wondered why her sister had been in the shop so much lately. Jacqueline had phoned to ask, and Alix had stopped by a couple of times. All Margaret would say was that Lydia was under the weather. Friday’s knitting session had been rather unsatisfactory without their teacher and friend, but no one complained openly. Alix just hoped Lydia would be back the following week and so did Jacqueline.
They drove for a good twenty minutes before Jacqueline pulled into the driveway of what looked like a mansion. The house was modern with a big front yard and lots of flowers. The white pillars in front reminded her of pictures she’d once seen in a magazine. Super cool.
No sooner had Jacqueline turned off the engine than the front door opened and a girl who didn’t seem to be any older than Alix stepped outside. Tammie Lee looked like she was ready to pop at any moment and wore shorts, a maternity top and no shoes. She had a smile as big as any Alix had ever seen and her eyes sparkled with welcome.
“You’re right on time.” Tammie Lee held open the screen door. “I’ve been so eager for you to get here.”
