Hammer saw the accusation in Liam’s eyes, and it pissed him off all over again. “Probably not. If you’d just get over your jealousy—”
“You’re blaming me for Raine leaving? I was fine until you started baiting me. If you’d kept your bloody mouth shut, we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.”
“Oh, you’ve got some big fucking balls. In case you didn’t notice, we both had to hear some goddamn hard truths today. Imagine my surprise to discover that you were sucking face with Raine when I told you to keep your hands off her. But then we both know the real reason you hooked up with her in the first place, don’t we?” Hammer could feel his blood pressure rising.
“Because you weren’t giving her what she needed,” Liam tossed back.
“Because you wanted to yank my chain.” Hammer shoved a finger in his face.
“For the record, I was trying to help someone I cared about, you bloody wanker.”
“Yeah, so you could see if I’d get jealous. And if not, well, why not just get in her pants? After that, do you think I enjoyed hearing her tell you that she loved you? That was a Hallmark moment I could have lived without.”
Liam rolled his eyes. “Oh, I’ve had a bloody party listening to her tell you she loves you for the last month! All that time, I’ve had to hear your insufferable whining about how I stole her from you.”
“Shit. I finally get the courage to tell her I love her, do I get sweet kisses and cuddles? No, she thinks I’m fucking lying.”
“What the fuck did you expect? You wait until she’s running out the goddamn door. Face it, Macen. You’re an idiot. Why didn’t you tell her in the bedroom this morning when you had her alone? That’s when she needed to hear it. And she might have let you fuck her, too.”
“You’re right. I was an idiot. Silly me for trying to honor our pact. So much for our strong, coordinated effort. Remember, she wasn’t supposed to be yours or mine? Or did you have a secret agenda in mind all along?”
“You’ve lost the plot, mate.” Liam shook his head in disgust.
“Jesus, you two.” Seth sighed as he opened the door. “Let’s get this out of the way before we go any further. You have five minutes outside to beat the fuck out of each other. Get it out of your system. When you come back, your heads up north better be ready to take charge.”
“With pleasure.” Liam stomped toward the door, shucking his jacket, tie, and shirt before tossing them onto the chair. “Are you coming, old man? Or are you afraid?”
With a glare Liam’s way, Hammer stood and tore off everything he wore above the waist, unceremoniously dumping them onto the same chair, then he barreled toward the door. He stopped as he passed by Seth. “You’re buying me a new pair of Louis Vuitton loafers, asshole.”
The other man just laughed as he slipped on his coat.
Stepping off the porch, Hammer sunk to his shins in the thick snow. He suddenly realized he should have told Seth that he’d need to replace his Armani trousers, too.
Liam hopped in the snow, his breath making clouds in the frigid air, fists pumping like a boxer’s. Hammer wanted to laugh, but the rancor glowing in O’Neill’s eyes told him this wouldn’t be a polite spar.
Before Hammer could get his footing in the slick, fine powder, Liam bounced in close and caught Macen’s jaw with a right hook. His head snapped back. A low growl tore from his throat.
“It’s on, asswipe,” Hammer bellowed.
Crouching low, he slammed a shoulder into Liam’s midsection. A grunt exploded from Liam’s throat, filling Hammer with satisfaction and sending the two men tumbling to the frigid snow.
Liam hissed as the frozen precipitation hit his bare back. Hammer snarled and straddled O’Neill’s chest, then hauled back a fist.
From the stoop, Seth stood wrapped in a woolen coat, rocking back on his heels and shaking his head.
Hammer ignored him and watched as Liam struggled to sit up. He launched his fist straight at Liam’s nose, making contact with a satisfying crunch. Blood sprayed in a perfect arc, landing on the Irishman’s chest and chin.
“You ready to give up yet?” Hammer baited.
“Concede to you, you fucking bastard?” the other man scoffed. “In your dreams.”
They panted heavily, and Liam struggled to push Macen off, then gave up with a curse. Instead, the man wiped at his nose, then reared back and punched him in the stomach. The air left Hammer’s lungs in a rush, and he felt faintly nauseous—and not for anything would he admit it.
“What are you doing, O’Neill? Trying to tickle me?” Hammer taunted before connecting another shot to Liam’s cheek.
“Get the hell off me. Christ, I can’t breathe with your weight on my gut,” Liam grunted as he twisted his body and heaved upright, unseating Hammer and tossing him onto his back. Rising to his knees, Liam hovered over him and plowed his fist into Macen’s nose. Pain exploded in his skull.
Hammer managed to grit his teeth and hold it together, even as blood ran into his mouth. “Stop hitting me with your purse.”
“You fight like a fucking girl. Planning to scratch me next?” Liam goaded before driving his fist into Hammer’s gut.
Macen groaned but managed to give Liam a mighty shove and send him tumbling.
Sprawled out in the snow side by side, the two men panted as they stared up into the twinkling night sky. The freezing temperature cooled his temper. Hammer realized he didn’t want to kill Liam, simply vent the years of pent-up fury once and for all. His nose hurt. His stomach felt sore. He spit out a mouthful of blood. His only consolation was that he didn’t think Liam had fared any better.
“Had enough of me kicking your ass, gramps?” Liam quipped.
“Fuck off,” Hammer turned to scowl at his friend.
Blood still seeped from his nose, but Liam grinned at him like a loon. In that moment, he prayed his friend only wanted to blow off steam, too. They’d taken their argument—hell, themselves—far too seriously.
This was what they should have done after Juliet’s suicide. Yell. Fight. Get fucking drunk. And cry. Macen had done all that alone and resented Liam for it. He knew now that his old friend would have happily joined him, if he’d only asked.
“I can go again. Just give me a minute. I need to catch my breath,” Hammer groaned.
A hint of smugness resounded in Liam’s low laughter until he palmed his jaw and cursed.
“Time’s up, ladies. Let’s go back inside. We can sit by the fire, hold hands, and sing Kumbaya,” Seth called from the front porch.
“Fucker,” Hammer muttered.
“I think we should beat his ass next,” Liam murmured conspiratorially.
Both men cracked a knowing grin. As if they’d read one another’s minds, they raised their right arms and flipped Seth off, laughing. It felt good.
Liam stumbled to his feet and held out his hand to Hammer. “Come on, you old fart. Let me help you up.”
“Who are you calling old? If our mommy over there on the porch—” Hammer thumbed in Seth’s direction “—had given us five more minutes, I’d have kicked your ass.”
Liam dropped his hand. “Yeah? Who’s on their feet first?” He grinned. “Or should I just let you drag your own half-dead carcass up alone.”
“Hey, I didn’t say I was turning down your help.” As Liam held out his hand again, Hammer laughed and latched on, rising to his feet.
Seth waited for them on the porch with a sour expression. “You two look like you fell face first into a meat grinder. When Raine comes back, she won’t like looking at either of you.”
“We’ll turn off the lights. She doesn’t need to see us, anyway. Just feel.” Hammer smirked.
“Or Beck and I could just take her off your hands,” Seth teased.
“You wanna die?” Hammer asked.
Liam suggested something anatomically impossible as they marched inside, grabbed their dry clothes, then hurried to the fireplace.
The heat felt good on Hammer’s stinging skin. Using his shirt to wipe away the blood that dripped from his nose, he eyed Liam. Would they be able to salvage their friendship and love Raine together? He wasn’t sure, but Raine blurting out her fantasy—her hope—had sharpened his. He wanted her. But he wanted her with Liam, with the best friend who’d tried to stand by him through thick and thin. Hammer might not always agree with Liam’s choices, but he knew the man never had less than good intentions. It was a place to start.
Seth joined them a minute later, tossing towels at both of them before he refilled their glasses with liquor.
“First things first, we need to discuss whether you can continue guiding Raine together or if you need to call it quits.”
“I’m not giving up,” Hammer growled.
Liam didn’t answer.
Seth swiveled a gaze in O’Neill’s direction. “You?”
Pain tore across Liam’s face. “I’m giving serious thought to chucking the whole fucking nightmare. It’s like a train wreck that keeps rolling over the same broken rails. Every damn time I think we’re getting on track, something causes it to derail again. I’m bloody tired of it.”
The desolation in Liam’s voice felt like a kick in the gut. Hammer wiped more blood from his nose on his shirt, silently staring as the drops expanded on the silk in a starburst of crimson. “Look, if it’s about the conversation today...”
“It’s not just her pregnancy scare.” Liam glanced up. His expression was unreadable, which worried Hammer even more. “That was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. I honestly didn’t think you cared whether she’d be pregnant or not. I know now, what with Juliet and all, that it’s a touchy subject for you. But you never wanted children in all the years I’ve known you. So I’d decided to adopt the kid and raise it as my own, if it came to that. I had a whole fucking fairy tale all laid out in my head. What a joke!”
Liam sank wearily into the chair next to Macen and mopped the blood from his face with his towel. Hammer hurt just seeing his pain.
“Think of me what you fucking like, but I want you to take her and be happy,” Liam murmured, defeated. “I’ll go back to New York. I won’t stand in your way.”
“You can’t do that! You’ll crush her,” Hammer insisted. “Remember? She loves you. There’s no way you can tell me that you haven’t seen how much she’s grown because of what we’ve done these past two days.”
“I’ve seen it,” Liam admitted. “But—”
“But nothing.” Hammer shook his head. “Raine needs us both. She loves us both. I think what’s got you so fucked up inside is the reality that nothing you or I can do will change that. Am I right?”
Liam sighed. “I had it in my head—in my heart—that she was going to be mine.”
“We both did, but there’s something you need to think about. If you walk away, I’m left with a woman who can only give me half her heart. The other half belongs to you. I couldn’t spend my life knowing I’d never be able to make her whole.”
“I’m not trying to leave you with half a woman, Macen. But I don’t see—”
“Then open your eyes. Raine is the one we’ve always needed,” Hammer insisted. “We not only have the chance to fix her, but us. You know it as well as I do. Goddamn it, surely you can feel it somewhere in there, just like I can.” Liam still didn’t say anything, and Hammer wanted to shake him. “Could you imagine never touching her again? Ever?”
Liam’s face twisted up as he tried to hold back. “No. I love her too much to leave her half empty.”
“Then don’t.”
After a long silence, Liam drew in a deep breath. “It could be worse, I suppose. I’ll have to be grateful that she didn’t fall in love with a complete asshole like Beck.”
Hammer couldn’t help but grin as he sighed in relief. Even Liam cracked a wry smile.
“I want you to know that earlier today, I didn’t just pull that question out of my ass. It had been rolling around in my head for days. I had to know if she would have been happy if she’d been pregnant.” Hammer scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Didn’t you want to know?”
“I was too afraid I wouldn’t like the answer,” Liam confessed.
“What if you’d gotten her pregnant? Would you have asked then?”
Liam reared back. “Of course. I’d want to know if she would be all right…” He sighed, giving Hammer a little grin. “You sly bastard.”
“You see, I had to know, not for an ego stroke. For her. And she gave us the honesty we asked for. She’s blown me away with how far she’s come.” Hammer couldn’t conceal his pride.
