A thousand tangled emotions ripped through Kateri as she stared up at Ren with an understanding that burned her raw. He had been the baby that no one wanted. The baby banned from seeing the only person who'd ever wanted him.
His mother.
She knew from her own experience how much it hurt not to have a mother. How many times in her life she'd ached over the loss. Every time she'd seen a mother with her child, regardless of age, and they embraced, or just laughed together ...
When she'd moved in or out of her college dorms and she'd seen her classmates with their families, their moms with tears in their eyes as they said good-bye and wished them luck with their classes. Graduations, birthdays, proms ...
All family occasions.
And those damn sappy family commercials ...
It always cut her to the bone because it rammed home with brutal clarity what she was missing. What she lacked most in her life. When there was a true mother-child relationship, there was no stronger bond. No greater love or sacrifice. That was what Ren had meant when he spoke of Apollymi destroying everything over the death of her son and why he couldn't comprehend that kind of love. That was how much a child meant to a real mother.
Their child was their world.
And when you didn't have that bond, there was no greater misery. It left a hole in your heart and a never-ending longing that was indescribable because you knew it was out there for others. You saw it constantly. Everywhere. And you wondered why you were exempt from having someone love you like that.
Why were they so lucky and you so cursed?
In her case, she'd at least known her mother for a brief time. She had memories of her mother holding her in her arms and rocking her whenever she felt bad, of her mother wiping away her tears and singing lullabies while her mother placed warm cloths of Vick's VapoRub on her chest whenever she was sick. Of kisses and hugs that came for no reason whatsoever, and with no strings attached. Of placing her own hand inside her mother's and feeling safe and secure in a world that was seldom kind to the innocent.
Most of all, she'd felt loved beyond measure every time her mother had looked at her.
It was also why she hated Mother's Day with a passion that burned like the fire of a thousand suns. Everywhere she looked, for weeks on end, was a vicious reminder that she no longer had a mother to buy a present for. No one to call. A woman to say "thanks for being there, Mom" to. While it was a great thought for those blessed with a mother who loved them and who was still with them, it was a brutal assault on those who'd lost theirs. She could only imagine how much worse it would be for someone like Ren who had no concept of what a real mother could be. Of what it felt like to know there was someone on this earth who would kill or die for you without reservation or hesitation.
And she knew exactly how lucky she was. She'd had two mothers who had loved her and cared for her. Two women who made her feel like she was everything to them.
Her mom and her grammy. Even though they were gone, their love lived inside her and gave her strength and character to this day. And she still wasn't alone. Not really. She had her aunt Starla, who would call and check on her. Make her laugh no matter how bad her day had been. Starla might only be related by marriage, but she'd always treated Kateri like another daughter.
Ren had never had anyone.
Ever.
She sniffed back the tears that threatened to become an all-out crying jag for the real tragedy of his life. "I'm so sorry."
And still he appeared puzzled as he watched her. It was as if compassion and sympathy from someone else were so alien an experience that he couldn't fathom anyone caring about him. "Why?"
"Why?" she repeated incredulously. "Because no child should grow up like you did. No one should ever be abandoned by the people who shouldn't have to be threatened to do right by their own blood. For the fact that you've never met your mother and that stupid demon-bitch abandoned you to a total asshole. I'm sorry for all of that. Most of all, I'm sorry that you think I'm nuts for caring about you. And for your being shocked and baffled that someone else could actually care about and be indignant over what was done to you as a child." She reached up to touch him, but he moved away.
Who could blame him? He didn't know how to bond with anyone. His own brother had killed him.
She winced at a reality so harsh, she wondered how he could be sane. Then again, maybe he wasn't. There were times when she doubted her own sanity. Times when the world kicked her so hard it left a permanent scar on her heart.
A heart that now wanted nothing more than to soothe him. "Has anyone ever just held you?"
He scowled. "What do you mean?"
And even that, he couldn't comprehend. Of course no one had ever held him close.
Held him like he mattered.
"I'm sorry, Ren. It's none of my business, I know. I'm just trying to imagine how hard it had to be on you growing up like you did." She winced as another wave of tears made her eyes water. "Did your father ever learn to love you?"
His features were as empty and blank as his tone. "No. He blamed me for the death of his wife. And he blamed my mother for the destruction of his homeland."
Something she was sure he took out on Ren.
"Why did he blame her for that?"
"He refused to believe that Apollymi came on her own to attack us. In his mind, my mother concocted all of it so she could have him."
How vain could one man be? "What? He thought your mother murdered Apollymi's son and destroyed two continents just to sleep with him?"
"I never said my father was a bright man. Thank the gods I inherited my intelligence from my mother and not him."
With those words, another vision went through her head. She saw Makah'Alay as a boy around the age of ten. He stood in the doorway of a room, staring at a bed that was surrounded by people who had their backs to him. She recognized the priests and medicine men. It was obvious they were there to cure someone, and it couldn't be his father since he stood at the head of the bed, looking down.
The oldest priest turned to face Ren's father. "I'm sorry, Chief Coatl. There's nothing left to do except prepare sacrifices in hopes the spirits will take mercy and leave Anukuwaya in this world."
Coatl's gaze darkened as he turned to see the son he hated standing there, hale and whole. His rage and hatred were tangible. Cursing, he headed for Ren.
Ren's eyes widened as he realized his father had become aware of his presence. He bolted for the hallway, but it was too late.
His father was on him before he could scurry away. He snatched the boy by his arm and shoved Ren against the stone wall. "What did you do to him?"
"N-n-n-nothing, F-f-f-father."
He backhanded Ren so hard that Ren fell to the ground. "Don't you dare lie to me! I know you're jealous of my son. That you covet his perfection." He grabbed Ren by the hair and wrenched him to his feet. Ren's lips and nose were bleeding as he clutched at his father's hand, trying to get him to let go.
"You better pray, boy, that nothing happens to my son. If Anukuwaya dies, I will gut you myself as an offering for his safe passage to the next realm. Do you understand? Now, whatever it is you have done to him, you better undo, or I will have your life as payment for it."
The vision vanished, leaving Kateri to stare into the eyes of the adult version of that little boy's face. A face that still had bleeding lips from the battle he'd fought for her.
Overwhelmed by it all, she reacted without thought and pulled him into her arms.
Ren froze at the foreign sensation of being held by someone as she buried her face against his neck and tightened her grip around his waist. Her tears dampened his skin, raising chills all over him. He was so stunned that he didn't know how to react to her fierce hug.
And in that one moment, something inside him shattered. It unleashed a long-buried dream that he knew better than to have. One where he lived a normal life with someone who would miss him if he was gone. Someone who would fuss at him if he was late and hadn't called ...
Closing his eyes, he inhaled her scent-a mixture of valerian and primrose. And all he could think about was being inside her. Of spending hours with her wrapped around his naked body.
Was this what it felt like to be loved? Not that he thought for one instant that she loved him. How could she? She didn't know him at all, because if she did, she'd be terrified and running for the nearest hole to hide in.
But love or not, this was the first time anyone had ever held him like this. Like she cared about him.
She'd been right. In all his life, he could count every hug he'd ever received. They were so rare and brief that he'd actually committed them to memory.
No one had ever held him to comfort him. Ever. His head reeled from emotions he couldn't even begin to name, and from the warmth her hug gave him. And here, for one single heartbeat, he allowed himself to feel that maybe, just maybe, he might be worthy of being loved by someone.
Don't be stupid.
The last time he'd entertained that fantasy had been with Windseer.
To this day, he could hear her mocking laughter after he'd made the mistake of confessing his love for her. "You didn't really expect me to say I love you, too, did you? While you are physically appealing and okay in bed, you're weak. Pathetic. You let everyone walk all over you and then wipe their feet on you when they're done. You cower into the shadows and shirk away every time your father draws near. Instead of being a man and standing up for yourself, you allow your brother to take credit for your skills and your kills. You're just a mewling little boy. You won't even accept the Grizzly Spirit's offer because you're too afraid to do so. How could any woman love something as pitiable as you?"
"I'm not p-p-p-p-p-p..." He'd been so upset by her attack that he hadn't been able to get anything else out. He'd stood there sputtering like he was as mentally defective as everyone thought him to be.
"Try 'nugatory' or 'inferior,'" she'd sneered at him. "Maybe you won't stumble over those."
At that point, his fury had been such that he'd feared he was about to strike her. So he'd turned sharply on his heel and headed for the door.
"Wait, Makah'Alay! Don't forget to take your meager p-p-p-pride with you!"
That had been the taunt that sent him over the edge. The one that gutted the hardest.
Intent on proving her and everyone else wrong, on proving to himself that he wasn't the piece of shit everyone thought him to be, he'd left her and gone straight to the Grizzly Spirit to make his bargain.
That had been the last time he'd seen her, and those her last words to him. Once he realized she'd only been using him to free Grizzly, he'd vowed to himself that no matter what, he'd never again love any woman. That he would never, ever open himself up to that kind of pain and humiliation.
It just wasn't worth it.
And he wasn't so weak that he needed validation from another. He lived his life for himself and he preferred it that way. He didn't need anyone else in his world.
"We need to get you something for your pain and wounds."
Kateri's voice dragged him back to the present and to the fact that she was still holding on to him.
For a second, he thought she was talking about his memories, until he again felt the physical pain of his fight. Releasing her, he took a step back, brushing his hand over the worst of the wounds in his side. "There's nothing to be done for them."
"What do you mean?"
"I told you, Kateri. I'm immortal. They'll heal on their own."
"Don't they hurt?"
Of course they did. While he'd beat the crap out of the demon, the demon wasn't inexperienced. Little bastard had kicked the shit out of him.
But she was being kind, so he kept his sarcasm to himself and nodded.
"Then we can-"
"Nothing will take the pain away, Kateri. Dark-Hunter powers don't work that way."
She frowned in confusion. "Dark-who? What?"
He rubbed his clean hand over his face as he remembered that she wouldn't have a clue about his brethren, even though Talon had once been a member of their elite brotherhood.
Although technically, Ren wasn't really one and never had been. He predated the first official Dark-Hunters by a couple thousand years. And because of that, he was the only one considered a Dark-Hunter that Acheron, their leader, hadn't trained. In fact, Acheron hadn't even known Ren existed until Cabeza had crossed over four thousand years ago, and the Atlantean had gone to train him for his Dark-Hunter duties in the Yucatan.
Acheron had been as shocked by Ren's existence as Ren had been by his.
Unlike the other Dark-Hunters, Artemis had resurrected Ren only because of her promise to his mother that she wouldn't let him die as a child-she'd sworn a sacred vow on the River Styx that she would watch over him.
To breach that oath would have cost her her own life.
Since Artemis was immortal and rather self-absorbed, she didn't have the best grasp on what differentiated a human child from an adult. So she'd returned him to life out of fear that if she didn't, she'd die, too.
And because of the dark powers she had to use to restore his life, it had "gifted" him with fangs and an inability to walk in daylight. Artemis told the other Dark-Hunters she'd created that those were a result of what they were pledged to hunt.
But once he'd been brought back, Ren had slowly learned the truth of his own birth and of the secrets of his mother's Greek pantheon.
The power to bring the dead back to life was one Artemis had stolen from Apollymi's son. As such, Artemis couldn't control it entirely. But it didn't matter to him. He'd been too grateful to come back and try to rectify his own stupidity that he wasn't about to complain about hers.
Right now, he didn't want to go into any of that with Kateri. Nor did he want anyone else to know how different he was from the others. The Dark-Hunters accepted him as one of their own, and since none of them knew his true age, they didn't question his Dark-Hunter designation.
They assumed he was a lot younger than he was and he didn't bother to correct them. Only Acheron knew the truth about him and only he knew the truth about who and what Acheron really was. A fact he kept from Acheron. Having lived his own crappy life, he wasn't about to dredge up Acheron's past that made Ren's look like a walk through Disney World. Since both of them wanted their pasts forgotten, Ren was more than happy to oblige their Atlantean leader.
So he gave Kateri the simplest explanation. "Dark-Hunters are immortal warriors who protect humanity from the preternatural beings who prey on them."
Kateri frowned. This was one of the moments when a sane, rational person would throw down the bull caca flag on the field. But ...
Sanity had waved bye-bye to her several hours ago. At this point, she was ready to go with space aliens, flying fat Elvi, and anything else someone wanted her to believe in.
Even Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
Heck, why not throw the Easter Bunny in for good measure.
And assuming that the Dark-Hunters were as real as all the other ... things she'd met since she got up this morning, she had a few questions. "So how does someone get to be a Dark-Hunter? Are you born to do it?"
"No. They're usually someone who dies during a brutal betrayal of some kind. One so violent and harsh that their soul screams loud enough to carry to Artemis's temple on Olympus. When she hears it, she goes to make them a bargain. For a single Act of Vengeance against the person who hurt them, they give her their soul and spend the rest of eternity hunting down Daimons for her."
"Daimon as in demon?"
He laughed bitterly. "Another very long, complicated story. Suffice it to say, they're soul-sucking vampires who serve the Atlantean goddess Apollymi. Since they collect souls and souls cannot live inside a body not their own, a Dark-Hunter is charged with killing the Daimon before the soul dies so that it can return to where it needs to be."
A shiver went down her spine at the thought of losing her soul. "You sold your soul to Artemis?"
"Trust me, it wasn't much of one, and it was no great loss. I really haven't missed it at all." There was a note of bitterness in his voice as he spoke.
But that got her to thinking.... "Then they're not worth anything?"
"Not as long as you're alive. But if you die without one, it makes your concept of hell look like a picnic."
Oh, okay, that didn't sound so pleasant.... "But if you're immortal, you can't die, right?"
"Easily. There are certain things no one survives."
This she had to hear. "Such as?"
"Beheading. Total dismemberment. Heart removal. Basically anything that utterly destroys a body, such as fire, and of course my personal fave-letting sunlight touch you. We tend to spontaneously combust into flames whenever that happens."
"Why?"
"You want the lie or the truth?"
Kateri wondered what made him ask such a question. Who would want a lie if they could have the truth? But her curiosity did get the better of her. "Oh, what the heck, let's live a little and hear both, shall we?"
One corner of his mouth twitched as if he started to smile, then caught himself. "Artemis tells everyone that it's because of her brother, Apollo, god of the sun. It's his curse that keeps the Dark-Hunters from daylight. But it stems from Apollymi. Since the Daimons can't go out in sunlight, she made it so that the Dark-Hunters who pursue them can't attack them unfairly. If the Daimons can't walk daylight, the Dark-Hunters can't walk daylight."
Made sense, but it stunk for the ones caught in the middle. "It sounds like Apollymi and the Greeks are still at war."
He inclined his head to her. "They are. The gods are worse than the Hatfields and McCoys when it comes to grudge matches. They don't know the meaning of the words 'Halt. Enough.'"
"And I still don't see how any of this ties in to me."
Ren paused at the opening of a cave. He pulled the knife from his boot. "Can you handle a knife?"
"I'm a better archer, but I think I understand the basic concept of stabbing someone."
His eyebrow shot up at that. "You can shoot a bow?"
Could she shoot a bow? Really? His astonished tone and expression seriously offended her. "Honey, I was on the 2008 Olympic archery team in Beijing. I didn't take home the gold, but I was ranked number four in the world. Compound, crossbow, or traditional ... whatever propels an arrow. If I can nock it, I can shoot it accurately. Never go to rubber-band war with me. You will be sorry."
This time he did smile, and it was devastating enough to make her forget all about feeling offended. Damn, he was gorgeous when he did that....
It lit his face and made him appear boyish and sweet.
Then a panicked look darkened his eyes as if he realized what he was doing and it instantly embarrassed him. Clearing his throat, he returned the knife to his boot. A bright light flashed an instant before a recurve bow appeared in his hands with a quiver of arrows, armguard, and shooting glove.
He handed them over to her. "Would you prefer a compound bow?"
"No way. Recurve's my baby. Not as forgiving, true, but I don't need forgiveness. I'm Sagittarius, Sagittarius rising. My grandmother always swore I was born with a bow in my hands."
That seemed to please him. "All right then. I'll be right back." He paused to look at her. "On demons, aim for their eyes. Anything else will just piss them off."
She flashed him a grin as she strapped her glove on. "Good to know. Thanks for the heads up."
Ren hesitated as he watched her put the armguard on and then nock an arrow and test her line of sight. She shot the same way he did-one over, two under. Her flawless form was a thing of beauty. While he'd seen plenty of women archers over the centuries, he'd never seen one who was truly united with her bow the way Kateri was.
Like the Guardian ...
Yeah, that bastard had shot so fast and so furiously that his arrows had blotted out the sky. While the Guardian wasn't the most accurate, he was one of the fastest on the draw that Ren had ever faced. The first time they'd fought, Ren had taken three arrows in his right thigh. But for Buffalo drawing his fire away from Ren, Ren wouldn't have survived it.
Never underestimate an enemy.
Pushing those memories away, he went to explore the cave. His current wounds were taking their toll and he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to function. Every heartbeat was threatening to send him to the ground.
Luckily, the cave was empty and appeared to be relatively clean. Thank goodness something was starting to go in his favor.
He headed back to the opening to find Kateri sitting on a rock as she scanned the woods around her like a true hunter. The sallow moonlight highlighted her silhouette, showing him the perfect angles of her face. She'd pulled her hair back into a tight bun that exposed her neck and reminded him of how good she'd smelled when she held him.
His throat went dry as his hormones roared to life in spite of the pain he was in. What was it about her that made him crave her so? That made him ache to be near her when he knew he shouldn't?
Proximity. Yeah, he'd blame it on that. That was safe and easy. Anything more bordered on terrifying.
He was just horny. He'd be like this with any woman.
And yet he knew better. He'd been around enough women over the centuries to know they didn't do this to him. Ever.
Not even Windseer had made him ache to hear his name on her lips....
"Kateri?"
She jerked her head in his direction.
"C'mon, I found us a place to hole up for a bit."
She slid off her makeshift seat in a way that reminded him of an exuberant child, and made her way over to him. A slight smile hovered at the edges of her lips-one that made her eyes sparkle. An urge to kiss her grabbed him by the throat and it was all he could do not to give in to it.
"You wouldn't happen to be able to think us up a cheeseburger, would you?"
Her question amused him. "Hungry?"
"Very. Who knew running for your life would give you such an appetite? I think I could actually eat a bear right now."
He really didn't want to be charmed by her, but it was impossible to resist. She spoke to him like she'd known him for years. Like they were old friends.
In the midst of all this crap that had hit them in the last few hours, she'd been brave and reasonable. Calm. Things he could definitely appreciate and respect.
She arched her brows at him. "Where are you taking me?"
That was a loaded question. He'd like to take her right here and right now.
Harness those thoughts. Now!
Yeah, that was only going to get him into trouble.
"Um ... b-b-back here."
Fuck! The sound of that damn stutter iced every hormone in his body. Why did he have to do that with her? Why?
Hating himself and with his fury riding him hard, he started away.
But she caught his jaw in her hand and gently turned his face until their gazes met. The warmth of her hand scalded his flesh, but it was the sincere concern in her gaze that set him on fire.
"Ren ... Did you know that Winston Churchill, the greatest orator of all time and one of the greatest leaders in the world, had a speech impediment? All of us botch our words from time to time. And honestly, I'd much rather stammer than put my foot in my mouth, and I've done more than my fair share of that. You have no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed for a biological misfire you can't help. It's not an indictment on your intelligence, but it is on the humanity and decency of anyone cruel enough to mock you for it. Besides, I think it's adorable."
Those words, combined with her touch and the look on her beautiful face, shattered every piece of resistance he had where she was concerned. In all his life, no one had ever made him feel like she did right now.
Normal. Whole.
Human.
There was no disdain or mockery. No judgment. She stared up at him the same way the Butterfly had looked at his friend Buffalo.
Like he meant something to her.
Before he could stop himself, he dipped his head down to taste her lips.
Kateri couldn't breathe as Ren kissed her with a passion the likes of which she'd never experienced. He sank his hands in her hair and explored every inch of her mouth with a hunger that set her on fire. It was as if she was the air he needed to live. Her head reeled from it and it made her so weak, she surrendered her weight to him.
When he finally pulled back, he still didn't release her. Rather, he buried his face against the crook of her neck and held her there as if savoring her very essence.
"You're not going to bite me with your fangs, are you?"
Ren blinked as those words registered past the daze that had claimed him. "No," he breathed. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
She gave him a smile that played havoc with every part of his body. "Don't apologize. That was one heck of a kiss. But if you're through, you might want to put me back on my feet."
He felt heat scalding his face again as he realized that during their kiss he had picked her up entirely. Her feet were several inches above the ground.
But in spite of his embarrassment, he slid her down the front of his body, savoring her curves against his chest. Too bad they were both clothed. It would have been infinitely more enjoyable had they both been naked.
Kateri watched the play of emotions cross his face. He would most likely die if he knew how transparent he was to her right then. How vulnerable. This wasn't the face of the warrior who had fearlessly fought demons.
This was the face of a man more used to rejection than acceptance. One who was still waiting for her to say something nasty to him.
"Just so you know, Ren, I think you're wonderful."
Ren scowled at her. "For what?"
He truly didn't know....
It amazed her that anyone could be so handsome and strong, kind and giving, and not have a clue about how superlative they really were.
"For protecting me. For your gift, and for that amazing kiss. And if you want to conjure me up a burger, I'll consider you the greatest human of all time."
To her complete shock, he laughed. "You want fries with that?"
"Sure. And a big old thick chocolate shake." Yeah, that very thought made her stomach rumble.
He took her hand and led her deep into the cave.
She slowed as the darkness completely enveloped them. "I can't see anything."
A green light flared instantly. Ren handed her a small glowstick he must have conjured like he'd done her bow. "That unfortunately is about the last thing I can do right now. Sorry." He sank down on the floor as if he was too weak to take one more step.
Concern tore through her at his actions. "Are you all right?"
Ren nodded. "I have to sleep for a while." He went down on all fours, then basically collapsed on the ground.
Even more worried than before, she rushed to him and knelt by his side. He was still breathing, but he was frightfully pale. Sitting back on her haunches, she glanced over the small area, taking a mental inventory of everything around them.
She did a double take at a white bag on a nearby rock.
No ... it couldn't be.
Could it?
With a curious frown, she went to it and sure enough, it was a cheeseburger, fries, and a large chocolate shake. Laughing in happiness, she pulled a fry out and ate it. She glanced back at Ren, amazed by his kindness. "You are so not what I thought you were."
At least not entirely. He was still scary and huge, and very skilled. But he wasn't the ogre he'd appeared to be at first.
He was surprisingly gentle, and, though he'd probably hate to hear her say it, sweet.
How could his father and brother treat him the way they had? What kind of beasts could hurt someone like Ren?
I wish I knew more about you.
While she'd gathered a great deal of information, there was still a lot more she lacked.
Like had he ever married? Did he have children?
When did his brother kill him and why?
Most of all, what was the wrong that he'd come back to right?
For that matter, she still didn't know how her destiny was tied to his past. Why was she here with him? Why he couldn't take her home himself?
So many questions. No real answers.
Sighing, she ate her food, wishing she had a crystal ball. Not that she could use one if it'd been here. But ...
"You would be amazed at what you can do."
Kateri went completely still at the deep, thunderous voice. Her heart hammering, she turned slowly to see a tall, imposing older man. One who had red eyes and a scar down the length of his face ...
And he stood between her and her bow.
