He reached up to frame her shoulders and he kissed her back, no longer bothering to hide the fact that he wanted her more than he wanted to breathe. He’d already pretty much given up breathing for her.
Their lips fused hotly. They fit. So goddamn perfect. Her body molded softly to his. Such a contradiction. Softness to his hardness. Smooth to his rough. Perfection against imperfection.
He wrapped his arms around her and slid his hands up her body. He massaged the plump globe of her behind while his other hand stroked up her spine and into the silk of her hair.
“If you had any idea how many nights I lay dreaming of this. Of you,” he whispered hoarsely.
Her breasts pushed into his chest. Her nipples rubbed erotically through the smattering of hair and they puckered into hard points.
“I’ve dreamed of you too, Nathan. Of us. Like this. I feel like I’ve known you for so long. Like I’ve been waiting for this moment.”
He wrapped one arm tightly around her and rolled until she was underneath him, his knee wedged between her thighs. Then he kissed her. Like he’d been wanting to from the moment he heard her voice again.
He devoured her mouth. Hungry. So damn hungry. She was a missing piece of himself and now he had her back. After he’d felt so damn empty for such a long time, the sudden sense of completion threatened to unhinge him.
“I have to make love to you, Shea.”
It was a demand, a request and a plea all wrapped up in one simple statement.
She cupped his face in her hands and stared up at him, her eyes as hungry as his. “Yes, Nathan. Yes.”
He claimed her mouth again as he settled between her thighs, his cock bursting through the material of his boxers. As badly as he wanted to bury himself as deep and as hard inside her as he could get, he forced himself to hold back. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her. This had to be perfect. As perfect as she was.
He kissed her neck, inhaling her scent, wanting it imprinted on his brain. He never wanted to forget how she smelled, how she felt in his arms, her body covered by his.
Then he slid his mouth down over her collarbone and lower to the satiny plumpness of her breasts. She sighed and arched into him when he claimed one of her nipples.
So velvety. Plush. He loved the feel of her in his mouth. Loved her taste and how she went so soft every time he sucked at the taut nub.
He ached to touch her but he hated to put his hands on the softest, most sensitive places of her body. She was fragile. His hands were rough. Fingers calloused. Scars on the back sides. The contrast of such ugliness to such beauty turned his stomach.
Her gaze softened and she reached down for his hands, bringing them to her breasts. She cupped his hands over the mounds and then rubbed her fingers up his arms to his shoulders.
“Touch me, Nathan. Make me yours. I want your hands on me. Your mouth. You’re so perfect.”
He shook his head. “Perfect? Hell, Shea, you’re the perfect one. So goddamn beautiful. Look at me. Really look at me. I look like some damn jigsaw puzzle. I look like fucking Frankenstein’s monster and here I am acting like I have the right to touch you.”
She rose up, curled her arms around his neck and pulled until their faces were just inches from each other. “I gave you the right. You’re not a monster. I wouldn’t care if you were. I think you’re perfect. Just so perfect. You came for me. You saved me. You kissed me like I was the most precious thing in the world.”
“You are,” he whispered. “You’re the most precious thing in my world.”
“Then make love to me. I’ve waited so long.”
He reached down to push his boxers away. He kicked impatiently at the material until it fell to the floor. She parted her thighs farther and slid her legs along his before wrapping her slender limbs around his.
His dick was so rigid that he groaned. It slid between her thighs, rubbing along her tender folds. He reached between them and gently parted her flesh. His thumb found her sweet heat as he positioned himself at her opening.
Ah hell, he didn’t want to hurt her but he didn’t know how much more he could take. He was dangerously close to his climax and he hadn’t even gotten inside her yet. He felt clumsy and inept as a lover, and yet when he lifted his gaze, he found her looking at him as though he were the most desirable man in the world.
To see himself the way she saw him? He couldn’t even wrap his brain around why she looked at him with her heart in her eyes, like he was…special. Like he belonged to her and she’d take on anyone who said differently.
“You won’t hurt me, Nathan. You’d never hurt me.”
He closed his eyes and slid deep into her. She gasped and quivered around him. For a moment he thought he had indeed hurt her, but when he opened his eyes, all he saw was pleasure and joy reflected in her beautiful eyes.
She grasped the sides of his face, her fingers lacing around to his nape. She rubbed her thumbs over his cheekbones and then pulled him down. Her lips fused with his. Hot and sweet.
He withdrew and then surged forward again, a groan escaping as her satiny heat closed around him, gripping him like a fist. She was unbelievably tight. So tight he couldn’t imagine how she could accommodate him without it hurting.
Again he tried to control the raging instinct to power into her, to dominate, claim. His breath tore raggedly from his chest, burning as he clenched his jaw.
“Nathan.”
His name, so sweetly said. She smiled up at him and caressed his face with gentle hands. He kissed her palm and closed his eyes as she clenched around his cock. Warm, wet and so damn exquisite that his eyes rolled back in his head.
She lifted her hips, taking the choice from him. Her movement sent him deeper, and she let out a moan that sent shivers of delight down his spine.
“Please, Nathan. I need you.”
He could no more deny her than he could deny the overwhelming urge to claim her. He fastened his hands over her hips and began to thrust. With each push into her body, the more he lost of himself. The more he became hers.
She went slick around him, liquid silk. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she lifted her hips to meet his every thrust. His fingers slid around to cup her buttocks and he helped her, lifting as he pushed and rode harder, deeper.
“Tell me you’re close. Can’t last much longer,” he gasped.
Instead of answering him, she kissed him. Hot and breathless, her tongue licking over his. He was lost. So very lost.
He was spilling into her before he could even think to make sure she was with him. Mindlessly he thrust, each glide releasing more of himself into her. And through it all she touched him, caressed him, made soft sounds of acceptance and pleasure.
He slipped his fingers between them once more and found her heat. He thrust again as he stroked the taut nub of flesh. He wouldn’t leave her until she’d gained as much pleasure as he had.
She cried out as he thrust again. And then again, all the while gently stroking her clitoris. She went hot and liquid around him in a rush. She strained upward, every muscle in her body rigid.
“That’s it, baby. Come for me.”
She writhed uncontrollably, her behind lifting from the mattress. She cried out again and then touched his hand to stop his gentle manipulation. He withdrew and then lowered his body to hers and rolled to the side so he could hold her close.
She lay against him, naked, her limbs twined with his. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and her breath huffed out over his neck. And he thought that, in this moment, he’d never experienced something so perfect. So fucking beautiful that it made his teeth ache.
This wasn’t sex. This was something so deeply emotional that he couldn’t even find words to describe it. He’d missed her with every cell and now she was finally here. A part of him. Linked so intimately with him that nothing could come between them.
He stroked her back, enjoying the feel of her skin against his palms. Then he kissed and nuzzled her neck, just wanting to inhale her sweetness all over again.
“Did I hurt you?” God, don’t let him have hurt her. He never should have pushed her into this, but he’d been helpless to stop it.
She kissed his shoulder and snuggled deeper into his embrace. “You were perfect, Nathan. So very perfect.”
CHAPTER 18
PAIN splintered through Nathan, and he came awake with a gasp. For a moment he thought he was having another dream, reliving his captivity. But he felt it again, a thin blunt object smacking his flesh.
He made a grab for his arm and breathed away the sensation and in the process bumped into Shea’s sleeping form. She lay beside him, curled into a protective ball, the sheets in a tangle at her feet.
She flinched and made a low sound of distress and it was then he realized it was she who was dreaming. She who was reliving her captivity, and he was still so closely linked to her that he felt everything she was experiencing.
His gut tightened in rage and his throat knotted at what she’d endured. His hands shook as he turned and pulled her into his arms.
“Shea. Baby, wake up.”
When he got no response, he called to her with his mind.
Shea. I’ve got you. No one can hurt you now. Wake up and look at me. Feel me. I’m right here. I have you.
She came instantly awake. No gradual climb to consciousness. Her eyes flew open and her breath exploded from her lips in harsh puffs.
“Grace,” she croaked.
Nathan frowned. “Grace?”
She scrambled to sit up in bed. Her hands shook. Her entire body shook. She raised her hands to wipe away her hair but then buried her face against her palms and rocked back and forth.
Distress radiated from her like a beacon. Her shoulders started to twitch and he realized with alarm that she was crying.
Her mind was a chaotic mess. He frowned at the images of her captors and then he saw a beautiful, dark-haired woman. Taller than Shea. Toned and tanned. Just as quickly as he caught the image, his mind went completely blank. Shea had slammed the link shut and closed herself off from him.
It stunned him how empty he suddenly felt. A surge of hurt followed by anger built before he could call it back. It felt like a betrayal. Like she didn’t trust him.
The thoughts were irrational. But he couldn’t turn them off no matter how much he thought she was justified in her caution.
He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now. She shut him out so maybe she didn’t want him prying. So he sat there, feeling like an idiot as she wept into her hands.
Then the decision was made for him. She turned and flung herself into his arms, holding him so tight that for a moment he couldn’t breathe.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I didn’t do it to hurt you.”
He eased his arms around her and stroked her back, trying to comfort her.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked softly.
“I just didn’t want you to see. It was so overwhelming and I couldn’t shut it off, so I shut you off instead.”
His hold tightened around her. “That’s bullshit.” He took another breath and tried a more tactful, sensitive approach. “You and I are quite a pair, aren’t we, Shea?”
She pushed up to face him, her eyes drenched with sadness and shame. “What do you mean?”
He touched her cheek, his heart growing soft at the sight of her tears. “We both try to hide from the other and yet we have a more intimate connection than any two other people on the planet. You can’t hide this from me any more than I can hide my scars from you. Why would you demand to see my shame and then hide yours from me?”
She sighed and then her lips turned up into a rueful half smile. “I knew it would upset you and I didn’t want to be the cause of that.”
He leaned forward and kissed her nose. “How about you let me decide what I want to be upset about? Damn right it upsets me. The idea of you in those bastards’ hands makes me crazy. But it doesn’t mean you’re going to hide it from me to protect my fragile little psyche. Anything that involves you, I want to know about. Are we clear on that?”
She smiled. “Crystal clear.”
“Good. Now come here.”
He pulled her against him and kissed her hungrily. They’d just made love a few hours earlier and yet he still ached. His need for her defied logic. He couldn’t explain it any more than he could fight it.
Already he was as hard as a rock, his dick straining upward, tenting the sheet that covered his thighs. He pushed impatiently at the covers, not wanting any barrier between them.
He settled her astride his thighs so that his erection rested against the blond curls that covered her tiny mound. She looked so damn sexy sitting atop him, her blond hair disheveled and falling over her shoulders. Her eyes were sweet and sleepy looking, but when he cupped her breasts, her pupils flared and her eyes went more black than blue.
He loved the feel of her plump breasts against his fingers. Small against his much larger hands. He rubbed his thumbs over her nipples, fascinated by the hardening nubs.
Unable to resist, he stroked over her shoulders, down her back then around the curve of her waist and then over her hips and underneath to her buttocks. He couldn’t get enough of simply touching her.
